


Jolt

by iL0Vsuperman



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Confused Fools in Love, Denial of Feelings, Drama & Romance, Early Waking AU, Friends to Lovers, Graphic Violence, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Jealousy, M/M, Mutual Pining, SHIELD, Sexual Content, Stony - Freeform, Superhusbands, Superhusbands (Marvel), Undecided Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-04-21 11:38:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 69,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4827764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iL0Vsuperman/pseuds/iL0Vsuperman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Odin threw Thor’s hammer to Earth, it had created a shockwave felt throughout the planet, jolting every living thing, including Steve Rogers.</p><p>In which Steve wakes up on his own, navigates the frozen tundra to civilization, and sorts out the modern world by himself. He eventually makes his way back to New York and goes to one of the few sources of familiarity: Stark.<br/>With Tony, he finds friendship, hope, and something he never thought possible…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Early Awakening

Tony did not feel the impact. He was in his growing tower, adding the finishing touches to his lab. Several floors below him, he could hear a construction crew doing the same to one of the less important floors (Human Resources).

Jarvis registered the slight jolt and entered it into archives but he did not inform his master because the earth was always moving and if he told him of every shift Tony would have no life.

Around the world, very few felt the jolt or noticed its effects. Most felt a shiver down their spine as the shockwave of energy passed through them, some trees lost a leaf or two sooner than they would have, and a couple of newborns woke to the bereft of their parents.

So the moment that would come to change Tony’s life went by unnoticed and he spent it smelting some metal panels together.

Another hour would pass before he finally learned of the event in question.

“Sir, an anomaly has shown up and has placed SHIELD on high alert,” Jarvis announced.

“Anomaly?” Tony questioned. He had paused in his work to take a break and was about to pop a blueberry into his mouth but froze upon Jarvis’s announcement. He lowered the tiny fruit and leaned forward as he said, “Do go on…”

“They are sending men to investigate it right now so there is limited information. However, it is reported that an inanimate object fell from space and is giving off high energy readings in New Mexico.”

“ _Space_? New Mexico? Are we talking E.T. here, Jarvis?” Tony asked excitedly. Thoughts of Area 51 and other alien conspiracies blossomed in his mind.

“No lifeforms have been detected as of yet, Sir,” Jarvis replied.

“Alright, keep me posted,” Tony said and finally threw the blueberry into his mouth. He chewed on it and then added, “And if SHIELD catches you watching let me know immediately. I don’t want to take any chances on missing out on this! Aliens, J! _Nothing can beat this_ _in level of awesomeness!_!”

\---

Hundreds of miles away, Steve Rogers experienced the moment very differently. A shock burned through him reminiscent to the same burn of the vita-rays that created his superior strength. He woke up gasping for air and felt cold, so c-cold…

Shaking, he wrapped his arms around himself and ice splintered off his body with every tiny shudder. His mind was coming back to him slowly and he looked around the cockpit and barely recognized it thanks to the ice and snow.

How long was he out? God…Peggy must be frantic.

 _Peggy_.

Sudden awareness hit him. He’d survived.

He could get that dance with his best girl.

He grinned to himself, despite his madly chattering teeth.

He reached out to where he knew the radio to be. His limbs shook and ached with the effort. The cold had sunk into his limbs, hardening his muscles and, as he stretched them, it felt like they were crackling open like thinning ice.

His fingers felt nothing as they brushed away the snow and icicles. They are like five, solid chunks of flesh and Steve darkly wondered if he had acute frostbite. Would the serum save his hands?

He uncovered the radio but grimly noted it was no longer humming with power. He flicked the on-off switch a few times but the static never sounded and his stomach sank. He tried the radio anyway and pressed the button.

“Hello?” He called out, “Is anyone there? Peggy? Stark?...Anyone?”

He was met with silence in reply.

Steve sighed heavily and leaned back into his chair.

He needed to get out of there. He couldn’t stay or he would freeze to death. But where was here?

Wherever it was, outside had to be just as cold and he needed to find civilization quickly or die.

He knew he was somewhere in the arctic and north would just have more snow and less life so Steve easily deduced he should head south. He was confident he could go in the right direction using only the sun and stars as his directors.

Just thinking of the warm rays of the sun was enough to set him into motion.

Steve pushed himself out of the chair with mighty groan. Ice crackled as it was separated from his body where Steve and the chair had fused through the frozen substance. He moved stiffly, his muscles were still hard, not wanting to move.

The plane was tipped at a slight downward angle and light was leaking from the back of the plane so Steve made the long trek to the other end of the aircraft. A few steps in, he came across his shield.

Steve paused and stared at it half-surprised. His shock dissipated and he grinned at it like he was seeing an old friend. He bent down and his back muscles protest at the movement but he gritted his teeth and took it.

The shield was cold, burning cold, and it bit through his numb fingers and was forcing more cold into him that spread and burned like venom. He quickly clipped his shield onto his back and shook his hand to get rid of the painful feeling. More cold sunk into the flesh of his back but it was not as painful as the first initial touch.

The entire plane was coated with ice and snow just like the cockpit. It was quiet and his footsteps reverberated through the body of the aircraft like loud drumbeats. Within the main body, the smaller planes and their bombs which were going to be used to destroy major American cities were also frozen over, most were on their sides and had broken open. They were burned black by fires long ago burnt out. Enough time had passed that the smoke no longer lingered and ice had slicked over the metal that had melted.

How much time had passed?

“I’m coming, Peggy,” Steve promised but he could not help but wonder if he missed their date.

The back ramp was slightly dislodged, letting in a few rays of light. Steve pushed on it with a mighty shove and opened it the rest of the way.

Freezing wind hit him and the cold sunk deeper into his skin, making him nauseous. Yet he stepped out into it and wrapped his arms around himself to better ward off the cold.

The sky was nearly as white as the landscape but he was still able to pinpoint the bright point where the sun’s white glow was almost indiscriminate. From there he trudged on. He kept his head bowed and put all his concentration into walking.

He silently talked to himself in his head to keep himself going:

_Draw your right foot forward and then the left._

_Ignore the cold._

_Ignore the hardening of your muscles._

_Ignore the ice building up in your lungs._

_You can do this._

_Peggy is going to show you how to dance, remember?_

_Can’t leave a pretty dame waiting._

_Bucky’s probably looking down at you from heaven and telling you to pick it up._

_Keep moving!_

He zoned into those words, living within his head to escape the worst of it and only surface long enough to look up to make sure he was going in the right direction.

The sun slowly drifted down to the skyline and it took him a few hours to realize that it was not dipping below the horizon.

Steve stared at the glowing orb and memories from his time in Norway came trickling back to him. He remembered hearing stories from the locals about the midnight sun. Parts of the world, close to the North Pole, had months of continuous sun. How north was he?

He kept trudging on but doubt began to fester in his stomach. What if the sun was in a different position because of this midnight sun phenomenon? What if he was miles – _no_ , _days_ – from the closest pockets of civilization?

Could he make it?

Steve shook his head to rid himself of his petty fears. He could do this. He survived worse than this. He would not lose until he gave up and there was no way Steve would ever give up.

So on he moved through ice, snow, and the bitterly cold wind. A fine layer of ice covered his entire body, freezing every piece of him that was not moving into one position. The muscles in his legs creaked with protest, wanting to freeze up too but Steve would not stop. Stopping meant giving up and giving up meant freezing to death.

He wasn’t going to let a little cold come between him and his girl.

When he finally saw color on the white horizon, Steve thought his mind was breaking. Yet as he got closer he recognized tents and moving figures as people. They were oddly dressed in puffy, full body orange suits, but they were people all the same.

Steve almost called out to them but then he saw their flag and he ducked lower to the horizon.

He did not recognize their flag.

It was a simple design with three horizontal stripes: with white on top, blue in the middle, and red on the bottom. For all he knew, they could be the enemy. It was close to Netherland’s flag but the colors were switched around. Did that symbolize something?

Steve frowned as he looked at the oddly dressed people and their just as oddly shaped tents. There were no children so these people were not trying to build lives out here. This was some sort of operation and Steve had been with the top commanders with in the U.S. military and had not heard of any operations in the arctic.

They were most likely his enemy…but they were also his only chance for surviving.

Steve looked down at his chest. Beneath the layer of ice was his internationally recognizable uniform and on his back was his shield. They would know who he was in seconds.

To save his life, he had to hide who he was or risk losing it all.

So Steve slipped off his shield and stabbed it into the ice and then pulled off his gloves. His hands were black and he felt no pain from them being exposed which was frightening. He knew he had frostbite and he knew there was a very good possibility that he would lose fingers. His mask was still back in the plane where he had thrown it off before the crash so he did not need to remove that but with every inch by agonizing inch he removed his shirt. Every piece of exposed skin flared to life with renewed icy pain. Once he got it past his head, he collapsed and pushed it off next to his shield as snow got into his mouth.

Ice shrouded his skin and his heartbeat became dangerously lethargic. Steve stumbled to his feet and lurched in the direction of the people. He could feel his muscles harden, his bones grow cold, and his very joints ache and threaten to shatter.

With his upper body exposed, the cold was even worse, making his mind hazy and his vision off center. He lurched more than walked toward the people and prayed they wouldn’t shoot him down.

Even with the ice covering him, the color to his skin and remaining clothing stood out in stark contrast to the white landscape and he was spotted within minutes.

The orange clad people came running toward him yelling out to him in a foreign language that his frozen brain could not pinpoint.

Steve fell and he heard explanations of alarm and fear. Moments later, clothed hands were turning him over and they were talking to him.

Steve blinked at them without any comprehension and the edges of his vision darkened.

They grabbed all four of his limbs and lifted him up with loud grunts of exertion. They moved quickly to one of the large tents. They were speaking urgently to him but he still could not understand them. More orange clad bodies were running toward them as the raised voices drew in the rest of the camp.

The last thing Steve saw before the darkness ate away at all of his vision was a sign, posted to one of the tents. The letters were blurred but, with it, he recognized the symbols. He had seen that lettering once before with the Howling Commandoes.

They were Russian.

\---

When Steve woke a second time he was in a warm bed with soft music playing in the background. It was a vast improvement from the frozen plane. His body ached but it was a healing ache. Soon, he would feel better.

People were speaking quietly under their breath not too far away. Steve recognized it as Russian and relaxed.

He was with Allies.

He cracked open his eyes and took in his surroundings. He was in a huge tent shaped similarly to a house. It look to be twenty-by-thirty feet in size but seemed smaller because of all of the equipment…and this equipment, he’d never seen anything like it.

He always thought America was paving the way in technological innovation with Howard Stark backing them but it looked like the Soviet Union was going to be giving Stark a run for his money.

There were five other beds other than his own and beside each bed were machines. One of those machines was attached to Steve and he watched in fascination as his heart beat was measured by jolts in a line. It seemed to be monitoring other things but he was unable to discern what.

He sat up and looked to the sound of the light whispers and spotted two men sitting by the front of the tent. They were next to a desk with several glowing monitors and Steve’s eyes were drawn to the amazing sight. Those monitors were so-so colorful and defined! They could not possibly be real!

One of the men stood and walked over to him, asking him a question in Russian.

“I-I don’t speak much Russian,” Steve replied, breaking his eyes away from the technology. Steve knew how to say “Hello, I am a friend and ally” in Russian but that was about it. Steve was too memorized by the technology behind the man to actually say it. The man paused before him and his eyes widened slightly.

He gasped with a heavy accent, “The American camp is over two hundred miles away. Did you walk that entire way?”

Steve shook his head and replied, “My plane crashed nearby.”

American camp? Could he be wrong about operations in the arctic? Were the Allies doing covert operations without the knowledge of the Army? Could it be the Navy? Or was he correct in his prior assumptions, was this another piece of Hydra?

“Are there any others?” The man asked of Steve.

“No,” Steve replied, his mind going back to the plane crash. “I was alone.”

“Well you are a very lucky man to be alive,” the man replied gravely. “You were on the brink of death when they brought you in here and…and you healed miraculously fast. I am the camp doctor by the way, I am Sergey, Sergey Pavlov.”

Steve smiled self-consciously. It looks like they did not recognize him just like he had wanted. Even though they seemed to be allies Steve did not want to reveal anything just yet. He had no idea what these people were doing out in the arctic and they flew a flag that did not belong to the Soviet Union. For all he knew, he had stumbled into the Soviet division of Hydra.

Whoever they were, Steve still had manners so he held out his hand and replied, “I’m Steve, Steve…Carter.” He flushed slightly from using Peggy’s surname and he hoped the doctor would not notice.

“I have a SatPhone, Mr. Carter. Would you like to use it to contact your people?”

“Steve, please,” he replied. “And yes, I need to contact my commander. I am with the Army and I was on a mission.”

Dr. Pavlov’s eyes widened in surprise and he asked, “With the U.S.? Was it a military plane?”

Steve nodded and studied his reactions closely. How would they treat him now that he knew he was a soldier?

“I’m surprised I didn’t hear about it! Usually when an American goes missing everyone knows within the minute it happens! And I can’t believe America doesn’t have half its armed forces searching for you already! I will get you the phone! Wait here!”

Steve’s brows pinched together.

They were at war. Why would his country deploy half of its army for one measly soldier? This man didn’t know he was Captain America…right?

And how would he get Steve the phone? Did he have a telephone booth on wheels??

Instead the doctor came back with a rectangular item, smaller than a handheld radio and held it out to Steve. Steve stared at it blankly.

Was the doctor playing a joke on him?

“Have you never used one before?” Dr. Pavlov asked.

“No…” Steve droned the word, still wondering where the angle of this joke was going.

The doctor leaned into his bed and murmured, “It is like any other phone but it requires a little more information. I will put in the U.S.’s area codes and you can take over from there. Do you know the number for your supervisors?”

Steve stared at him blankly. Everything he said was gibberish to Steve.

The doctor smirk and said, “I don’t know my boss’s number either. Cell phones, you know? How about you call your family and they can call your ranking officer?”

He held out the device to Steve with an air of expectation. Steve gingerly accepted it then stared blankly at it. What was he supposed to do now? Should he play along? There were numbers on the phone though there was no rotary to spin. He knew no one with a phone to call and if he needed to contact someone in the military he usually went through operators.

With that in mind, he pressed zero, feeling odd with no rotary to spin, and held the phone up to his ear. Dr. Pavlov’s face pinched in confusion and he asked, “One number?”

“Operator,” Steve explained with a flush. He felt ridiculous holding the “phone” up to his ear.

“Operator?” The man asked in bafflement.

“Yeah, I—,” he started to say and jolted when the device suddenly started to beep then out of nowhere a woman’s voice announced, “The call has been dropped. Please redial and try again.”

Steve dropped the device and hissed, “I just heard – that’s a real – that’s a phone!?”

He waved his hands around the phone, looking for the invisible wire that connected the phone to the phone box that wasn't there.

The Russian’s eyes widened and he pulled a small tube out of his pocket and held it up to Steve’s eyes, flashing a bright light into his vision. He murmured, “Can you tell me where we are?”

“Uh, the arctic? Unless you moved me?”

Dr. Pavlov nodded and then asked, “Can you tell me what day it is, Steve?”

Steve shook his head and replied, “The plane crashed a few days ago…I can’t give you an exact date.”

“That’s fine, the sun confuses many. How about the day you crashed, can you tell me when that was?”

“Why?” Why these random questions?

“I just need to check your memory. The crash may have given you a concussion or rattled your brain,” the doctor explained. “I ask these questions of everyone who gets hit in the head. You displayed an odd reaction to the phone. How about where you are from?”

“B-Brooklyn,” Steve replied, flinching a little as he shined the light in his other eye. “Brooklyn, New York…My head feels fine, Dr. Pavlov.”

“Remembering my name is good,” the doctor replied. “And you still remember yours?”

“Steve R…Carter. Steve Carter,” he repeated and the doctor’s eyes narrowed as he heard his hesitancy.

“Date of the crash?”

Steve sighed and replied, “June 16, 1945.”

The doctor’s face lost its professional parlor for a second and revealed shock from Steve’s statement.

“I am sorry, can you repeat that?”

“June 16, 1945.”

“…I need to run more tests, Mr. Carter. Please, stay here, do not move.”

Steve saw the worry in the doctor’s eyes and he asked, “What’s wrong?”

The doctor ignored him and went back to his colleague. They exchanged a few words then they both went into action. Collecting supplies and a large machine on wheels. They pushed it all towards Steve and Dr. Pavlov finally replied, “I need to scan you to make sure your brain was undamaged.”

“ _Scan_ _my brain_?” Steve gasped. Was he dreaming he was in some kind of sci-fi comic? What was going on??

“It is not 1945, Mr. Carter,” the doctor explained, turning on the machine and it hummed to life. “It is the 6th of May, 2011. Your mind might be a little off because of the trauma. Don’t worry everything will be alright.”

Steve heard him but his mind could not process his words. He did not believe him and gasped, “S-show me a newspaper, something with a date on it!”

The two men exchanged credulous looks then the doctor pulled another small device from his pocket. It was rectangular like the SatPhone but sleeker. He tapped at its smooth screen and it lit up. He said, “We do not get newspapers up here but I do have a calendar on my phone.” He held it out to Steve and asked, “Is this proof enough?”

Steve watched in amazement as he pulled the calendar up. His jaw dropped as he watched him do it and when he held it out to Steve, Steve confirmed that the doctor’s and the “phone’s” dates matched.

…Steve wasn’t in that plane for a few days.

It had been decades.

His thoughts instantly turned to Peggy, waiting in that dance hall all alone. Peggy was an old lady now…if she was still alive that is.

She probably moved on and had a family of her own…In fact, everyone he knew were old or dead…

\---

Thor had no idea where his hammer was nor did he know that it had woken the man he would one day follow into battle.

But he did know one very crucial fact:

He was _irrevocably_ in love with Poptarts.

\---

In his very own orange jumpsuit, Steve navigated the camp, taking in all the small changes of the future.

Dr. Pavlov informed him that he had stumbled upon a Russian science expedition. They were studying the layers in the snow, digging down deep to layers that had not been exposed for centuries. The team was comprised of both men and women, all of whom were scientists on a 6-month mission.

To them, Steve was a downed pilot who had miraculously survived.

The American team was sending someone over to pick him up and from there he was going to get a ride back to the states.

He did not tell them who he really was and doubted they would believe him. He even rescinded that he was a soldier so the Army would not investigate. Supposedly, he was over ninety years old now but did not look like he had aged at all in the last seventy years…he would not believe him either.

His shield, gloves, and the top half of his uniform were still on the outskirts of camp, unnoticed by the others.

They all assumed he had some type of amnesia so they answered all his questions about the modern world without pause. It was a blessing because the world changed vastly since Steve was last awake and he would probably never figure out how to navigate it without help.

As he questioned, he discovered their flag was Russia’s new flag. The Soviet Union was no more. The Allies had won World War II but there had been more wars since then and the Americans were currently involved in a war with the Middle East.  And then, to hear of the devastation that hit New York, _his home_ , was like a blow to the gut. He could not imagine the horrors of two skyscrapers falling would have been like. The United States was still whole, at least, and had gone through a lot of change. _They even had a black president_!

There was also a superhero in New York, just like something out of one of the comics the he had read as a kid and, of all people, it was Howard Stark’s son! Iron Man. The crew had no photos and didn't have connection to the Internet (a technology that still boggled his mind) so they could not show him what Iron Man looked like. Yet, what they described sounded glorious.

So many changes had occurred that Steve could barely keep up and he kept wondering: should the world know Captain America survived?

Would the Army want him to fight in this new war? Or…would they experiment on him and try to find a way to recreate the super soldier? The latter was the more likely of the two since he had somehow survived all these years with no change and…it did not sit well in Steve’s stomach.

Steve gulped, not really liking either option. This was not his world or his war, it did not seem right. And any form of experimentation was totally out of the option.

Steve stared at the white, desolate landscape and, as he considered the future, he drew a blank.

…what was he going to do now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I currently am really busy with my internship and I can make no promises when my chapters will come out. However, writing is my stress reliever so I will DEFINITELY be working on this in the meantime! XD
> 
> As always, I post teasers on my [tumblr](http://il0vsuperman.tumblr.com/) so check it out! :)
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Next Time, Ch. 2: Hiding a Shield, Avoiding Shield, and Spotting the Shield


	2. Hiding a Shield, Avoiding SHIELD, and Spotting the Shield

Hundreds of miles from where Steve Rogers was learning about the new century he found himself in, Tony was learning about a whole new world.

“Ass-guard?” Tony repeated with a smirk. He rubbed his mouth, barely muffling his chuckle. The hologram before him was playing the same ten second clip repeatedly of the fight between a robot and a giant blond man with an overly large hammer. Very little information was being let out and the little New Mexico town where the fight occurred was shut down. But SHIELD databases contained a plethora of information which Tony was eagerly digging through.

“ _Asgard_ , Sir,” Jarvis replied. “The man portrayed in the video claims to be an alien from another world called _Asgard_. In addition, according to SHIELD’s files, he calls himself Thor Odinson, after the ancient Norse God of Thunder.”

“Oh, this guy gets better and better,” Tony replied with glee. For three years, Tony had been alone in the “superhero” arena but, with the chance appearance of aliens, this eccentric “Thor” with an honest to God bright red, superman cape just stepped out of nowhere and made his day.

“So how certifiable is he?” Tony asked, “Is he completely deranged? Hallucinating off mushrooms? Trying to impress some pagan, vegan hippie?”

“From the evidence released to the public, I can discern that he displays unusual strength not found in most humans and had done so seemingly with no technology.”

“That hammer’s gotta have something in it,” Tony murmured. Tony paused the video with his eyes focused, not on Thor, but the behemoth he was fighting. He continued, “But enough about that, what about the thing he was fighting? What kind of metal is the robot made of? What’s its power source? How the hell is it held together? It looks _hollow_! Who’s controlling it? _And who_ made it??”

“SHIELD has yet to post anymore information to their servers. However, it has been noted that Agent Coulson had been assigned the case.”

“Coulson?” Tony stated with renewed interest. Coulson was the one man in SHIELD whom Tony had a direct link to. “Hmm, Jarvis, punch me through to the agent.”

“Right away, Sir,” Jarvis replied and a ringing echoed over Jarvis’s speakers.

“Mr. Stark?” Coulson answered his phone on the second ring.

“Agent!” Tony stated, “What’s up? I thought we had something going? Why do I have to hear about Hammer Time and his robot from CNN? I thought I was your go-to guy for technology danger, _robots_ _especially_!!”

“We have this under control, Mr. Stark,” Coulson replied dryly.

“So you don’t need any help examining the remains of the robot?” Tony implored as he picked up one of his Iron Man gauntlets off the lab table.

“There is no need, Mr. Stark. As I said, we have this under control.”

“What about Mr. Odinson, when do I get to meet him and welcome him to the club?” Tony asked, tossing the gauntlet back and forth between his hands.

Coulson sighed heavily and asked, “Are you hacking into _confidential_ SHIELD databases again, Mr. Stark?”

Tony smirked and replied, “I plead the fifth.”

“Stark-,” Coulson began, dropping “Mr.” which showed he was losing patience.

“Moving on,” Tony quickly interceded. He’ll bug Coulson about Point Break and his Terminator-wannabe another day. Instead, he inquired, “Have you found any of my dad’s old stuff yet? I sent in my third request for it weeks ago.” Tony stopped tossing around the gauntlet and walked over to the spread out of documents over his work table.

He placed the gauntlet down and peered down specifically at the few notes his father had left in the wrong file. The papers were from the 1940s and had yellowed with age. Tony had thought it scrap paper when he first saw it but now he touched it with the reverence it deserved.

He lightly tapped his arc reactor in his chest as he remembered his father’s other notes being the very thing that had saved his life from palladium poisoning. After that, Tony had figuratively devoured everything his father had left behind, absorbing all the information he could.

It was during this, he discovered his father had accidentally slid a few confidential files where they weren’t supposed to be and now Tony wanted more. Tony continued, “I know he left a lot with you guys, especially all the material on Project Rebirth…Most of it is still in the paper files and I am sad to say I can’t plead the fifth with any of it.”

“I’m so disheartened to hear that,” Coulson replied, his voice dripping with his dry sarcasm. “And I’m sure Fury likes it that way which explains why your request keeps getting denied.”

“I’m not interested in the super soldier part of it,” Tony retorted, rolling his eyes. All everyone wanted to know about Project Rebirth was how to recreate the serum. Maybe he wished he could be Captain America when he was a kid but Tony was an adult _and_ the goddamn Iron Man. Tony stated, “I just want the information on the Captain’s shield.”

“…His shield?” Coulson questioned, sounding genuinely perplexed. “Why on Earth would you want his shield?”

Tony lightly drummed his fingertips against his arc reactor with its Vibranium core.

Tony was usually inapt in mentioning it, but his father was a technological genius along with being an asshole. The man was coming up with inventions and elements so advanced that the technology of his era was too slow to keep up. Tony was like a sponge and only wanted to learn _more_ so he ate up all the notes available to him which led him to the shield that had been constructed for Captain America and the fact that it had been made out of _Vibranium_.

The shield had once been the only known source of the metal in the Western Hemisphere. The Wakandans kept the pure metal locked behind the borders of their country. The only other known source outside of the protective country was the shield his father had constructed for Captain America.

The notes revealed only the final design to the shield but nothing on how his father attained such valuable metal and _during_ World War II nonetheless. Metals like iron and aluminum had to be rationed during the war so how in the hell did he get so much Vibranium??

Did his father somehow have the pure, Wakandan metal? Did he find another source outside of the secluded African country? Or did he find a way to construct the metal element? If so, how had he done it and made _so much_ with the technology of that era? It took Tony huge amounts of materials, space, and energy to create a small amount! If Tony could figure out the formula he could probably make enough to cover his armor and be completely indestructible.

“Agent, let’s just say I’m looking to out-do my dad and the first step is getting some information on that shield.”

“The shield was lost with Captain America over seventy years ago,” Coulson stated.

“Just want some notes, Agent,” Tony murmured. “Then I’ll get out of your hair.”

“…Please resubmit your forms, Mr. Stark, and have a good day.”

There was a click over the line and silence. After a long pause, Tony gasped, “…Did he just hang up on me??”

**\---**

Mjölnir sent out another shockwave when Thor raised it over his head for the first time since Odin had cast it to Earth.

Again, it was felt throughout the world but most passed it off as a random shiver or mild irritant. Goosebumps rose all over Steve’s skin and he looked uneasily over his shoulder. His gut was telling him something had happened but all his eyes showed him nothing was amiss in the camp.

He told himself it was nerves and refocused on his task.

Steve wanted to keep his identity a secret but he also did not want to leave behind his shield and the rest of his uniform. It was all he had left of his old life and the only real proof of who he was.

He had mused over the problem and found a solution from the very clothes on his back. The outrageous neon jumpsuit was also extremely baggy. They had to give him the largest size because of his mass but it was mostly for his height. His waistline was too large for his narrow hips. He could easily hide his shield, uniform, and then some in it without any problem. However, getting to the outskirts of camp without notice was the main problem and then keeping the shied a secret in the close camp was another…

Days since his waking, when the Americans finally arrived, it was almost like someone had declared it was the Fourth of July. The entire camp was bustling and everyone wanted to watch the ‘Sno-Cat’ as it approached, kicking up mounds of dirt and snow. The Sno-Cat was a dark orange vehicle with the same tracks as a tank and a huge, bulky, square body on top.

As the others were distracted by the coming of the American team, Steve slipped away to where he had originally come into camp.

It took him a while to find what he was looking for. In the time since he left it there, the snow had buried everything. Luckily, despite his fainting, he was able to triangulate where he had left them. It took him only a few minutes to find the exact spot and a handful more to dig everything out.

Everything was frozen together in the concave of his shield. He dug it all out and, even with the protection of his thermal gloves, the cold bit into his skin and numbed his fingers painfully.

He did nothing for his red gloves and simply bunched them into a crunchy ball and stuffed them in his pocket. He snapped out the top half of his uniform and worked at ice in the tough fabric until the fabric was able to move again.

Next came the unpleasant part. Steve quickly unzipped his jumpsuit and pulled off his undershirt. Goosebumps rose on his exposed flesh and his muscles seized. He quickly pulled his uniform over his head and then put his undershirt back on. If he had to unzip his jumpsuit then all anyone would see would be his undershirt. He quickly pulled on his jumpsuit but continued to shiver madly. He would probably do so the rest of the day with the cold cloth pressing into his skin.

Last, but not least, he tucked his shield under his undershirt. He cringed as the metal chilled his skin further. He would have to walk with a hunch until the Americans took him but, once with them, he could straighten and look like he had a potbelly.

He slipped back into camp without anyone noticing and joined the others in their gathering to greet the other team.

When the two peoples finally converged into one, it was a loud and boisterous affair. The Americans wore orange jumpsuits too though they had small American flags on their right shoulders. Whereas the Russians were all pale and had either blond or brown hair, the American group was a mix of races and colors. Steve was excited to see such diversity. His own team, the Howling Commandos, was the first team to ever have mixed race in the Army and that was only because Steve had fought adamantly for it. And now it seemed to be a norm. How much more did the future change?

There were a lot of hugs and excited exclamations shared in various languages as the groups intermingled. Steve watched it all with a found smile and overheard the scientists catching up and trading information. Eventually, an Indian man was lead over to him by the Russian’s leader.

“Hello,” the man said as he held out his hand to Steve. He asked, “Are you the downed pilot?”

Steve took his hand and replied, “Yes, I’m Steve, Steve Carter.”

“Dr. Nathan Kaswani,” the American replied as he shook his hand. “It’s nice to meet you Mr. Carter.”

Nice to meet him? In the span of a few seconds, Steve reflected on the events of the last week: losing Bucky, thinking he died in the plane crash, waking in the frozen world felling as if his body was made of ice, and then discovering he was in the future…The world had changed for the better in some ways but it also had changed for the worse in other ways too…But the worst was it was no longer his world.

Steve smiled bitterly at the other man and replied, “It’s nice to meet you too.”

The Americans stayed for a few hours and rested from the long trip. They had brought some supplies on their Sno-Cat which the Russians unloaded for them. No tent was large enough for everyone to gather in so they all gathered in the center of the tents and huddled together like penguins. The abundance of bodies was enough to keep them all warm and whatever cold they may have felt was warded off by cheer and good fun.

The Americans were informed of his “amnesia” and ecstatically told him of their country. The Russians gave him rudimentary knowledge but these people were actual citizens and knew the little things that Steve had been craving to hear. They came from all over the country from the tip of Southern California to the northern part of Maine. They shared stories of their lives growing up and most were humorous and others were miraculous or adventure filled. They loved to boast which was parallel to the American soldiers he had fought with. It made Steve happy. The world may have changed but the American spirit was as strong as ever.

They could not stay too long, after a couple of hours, the Americans began to pack up.

Steve gave quick goodbyes to his newfound Russian friends. He’d only been with them a little over a week but they had helped more than they would ever realize and he was eternally grateful. They surprised him with hugs and kisses to the cheek. He had to conclave his torso in order for them to not feel his shield and no one seemed to have noticed thankfully.

Dr. Kaswani was unofficially named Steve’s caregiver and he escorted Steve over to the Sno-Cat. He pointed out different aspects of the machine and explained all their functions to Steve. Steve listened attentively, fascinated by what he was learning.

The seating was tight and once everyone was piled in Steve was pressed in on each side. He pressed his arms onto either side of himself so his neighbors would feel his biceps instead the edge of his shield. Dr. Kaswani was one of his neighbors and the last in.

The driver turned back to the others and asked, “Ready to go?”

“ **Vámonos**!” Someone announced and the rest of the car cheered in agreement. Steve muffled a chuckle as the truck moved out.

They were not rambunctious the entire way. The ride back to the American camp took a few hours and the loud voices calmed down to whispers as a few of the scientists fell asleep.

For the first time, in a long time, Steve felt safe. He was one step closer to getting home and was surrounded by his countrymen.

The American camp was much larger than the Russians’ camp. It was on the water with a port and had a number ships docked. Snow had been cleared away for roads and instead of tents there were buildings.

“You’ll be going out on the Moby’s Tread,” Dr. Kaswani stated pointing to one of the smaller ships. The ship had a red hull and its deck was covered in flurry of activity. The doctor explained, “She’s shipping out tomorrow.”

“So soon?” Steve gasped. He had expected to have to wait for the American team’s expedition to end. His eyes were drawn back to the docks and he looked at one particular ship that had to be bigger than the Empire State building. He marveled at its size. How did they keep such a ginormous thing from sinking??

“You were in luck, we have an investor here right now and she’s going back to the states.” The doctor smiled and added, “They’re going back to New York actually. That’s where you think you’re from, right?”

Steve refocused on the boat that would take him back home. He whispered, “Yes, I know that much at least…” But how much had it changed? New York could be a whole new city. Was Brooklyn still there? He was afraid to ask…

“You’re going to go straight into the state’s custody,” Dr. Kaswani explained. “From there, they will help you with your amnesia, begin the search for who you really are, and try to find some friends and family.”

Steve lightly touched his shield, still fastened to his belly. He did not want his identity known. He barely knew how to operate in the future. He could not imagine what it’d be like once they knew who he really was and that he’d survived all these years. He knew the first reaction to such a miracle would be to study him. Even when he was small, Steve strived to stay out of hospitals to be poked and prodded, and being bigger didn’t change that.

He would let them take him to New York but he wouldn’t let them take him into custody.

\---

Traveling from the Arctic port to New York City took over two weeks.

The investor was a stoic Asian woman that answered to May and was a part of a government organization called SHIELD. Steve learned from the ship’s crew that SHIELD planned a big search of the Arctic. For what, they could only guess as the organization was very tightlipped about it. The popular rumor on the ship was that it was a search for an alien spaceship.

The agent was a part of the government so Steve avoided her and the agent did not seem to notice or care.

Steve had a tiny room that reminded him of his old apartment in Brooklyn. The walls were bare, his bed was too small for him, and by standing in the small space he took up nearly all the available space. The American team in the Arctic shared some clothes with him and he hadn’t touched the orange jumpsuit since boarding the ship. He kept it wrapped around his shield and uniform and no one had yet to notice it.

Steve spent his time with the crew, helping where he could whether it was untangling lines or peeling potatoes. The crew readily warmed up to him and, just like the American team, when they learned of his “amnesia” they were quick to talk to him about home or show him how things worked.

When New York was on the horizon, one crewmate grabbed him and brought him to the bow of the ship. The Statue of Liberty was still standing proudly before the city, welcoming all the travelers to her shores. Steve smiled at her like an old friend. At least one thing hadn’t changed. The cityscape, however, had grown up into the sky. In his day the largest building in the world was the Empire State building but now it was dwarfed by the tall, glass behemoths that surrounded it.

“Wow,” Steve gasped. It was like something out of a science fantasy novel…and now it was his home.

“Beautiful, ain’t she?” The crewmate asked, nodding to the city.

“She’s one of a kind,” Steve replied. This was home. It may have changed but he could feel that he belonged in his very bones.

The crewmate clapped him on the shoulder and left him leaning on the railing and watching over the city as it grew closer and more beautiful as its details grew sharper.

Steve waited until land was maybe a mile off the port side before he jumped overboard. He left a note for the crew to let them know he was fine but had slipped away to figure things out on his own.

With various knots, he had turned the old jumpsuit into a bag he could kept slung across his back and tied to him with a square-knot across his chest.

He was a fast swimmer and cut through the cold water at Olympic speeds. It was early June and people were on shore, sunbathing or playing in the surf, and they all stared at him as he walked out of the ocean fully clothed. The bathing suits for both the men and women were scandalous and Steve avoided looking at any of them as he scurried out of sight.

To his relief, he quickly discovered that the majority of the streets still had the same names and he was able to tell he was close to Coney Island.

It was a hot summer day so Steve walked into the city. He dried off fairly quickly and marveled at the sights as he walked. The buildings, the people, and even the cars had changed in the decades since he had last been home. Yet little things still remained whether it was an old building that was still standing or a tree that had grown, Steve smiled whenever he saw them.

After around three hours of walking he finally arrived in Brooklyn and where his old apartment once was. The building had been torn down and in its place was a laundromat. He had been hoping to see the old apartments retrofitted but he was sadly disappointed. He stared at the new building for a long time remembering his old life in the apartment he shared with his best friend who was now long dead…even though it felt like he’d lost him only a month prior. For a while, he doubted he was on the right street even though he had confirmed it twice already. The apartment was gone and with it another connection to the past…

With a heavy heart, he moved on and went to the graveyard. Many new grave markers had been added in the meantime, but Steve knew exactly where to find his parents’ graves. He was happy to see them still there. He cleaned them both up the best he could, pulling away weeds and scraping off dust and moss. When he saw his apartment was gone he had developed an irrational fear that their graves would be gone too… He sat with them and caught them up with everything that had happened. From their spot on a grassy knoll, he watched the sunset and when it dipped below the horizon, he left but not before murmuring, “Goodnight, Pa…Night, Ma.”

His stomach ached for sustenance but Steve had no food with him. He jogged to Central Park, planning to sleep there for the night, just as the homeless had done in his era.

He found a spot in some thick brush and untied his handmade knapsack. He lay it across his chest for some warmth and settled down. His stomach grumbled unhappily but his exhaustion eventually silenced it and Steve fell asleep.

\---

“Hey, buddy. You can’t sleep here.” Steve’s foot was nudged and he snapped open his eyes and sat up just as quickly. A tired looking, police officer was staring down at him in predawn light.

“S-Sorry,” Steve replied with a flush. He scrambled to his feet and hurriedly tied his knapsack back on. His stomach growled like an angry, caged wolf and Steve’s flush deepened.

The officer sighed and stated, “Look, North of the park, there are a lot of churches that feed yous guys. If you leave now, you’ll probably be able to grab a bite.”

“Th-Thank you,” Steve replied.

“Just don’t let me catch you sleeping here again,” the officer stated in warning and then walked away.

Steve tried to straighten out his clothing the best he could but between swimming in the ocean the day before and sleeping out in the elements in it, it was beginning to look worse for wear.

He did as the officer suggested and jogged to the North end of the park. From there, he followed his nose and found one of the churches the officer spoke of. They gave him warm oatmeal, toast, an orange, and coffee. His stomach gurgled with relief. With his metabolism, it was hardly enough to tide him over but the act of eating alone was amazing.

He sat down at one of the tables provided and scarfed down the food.

“Newbie?” The hairy, gruff man beside him asked. Steve looked questionably at him and the man reiterated, “Is this your first time on the streets?”

Steve flushed and nodded as he said, “Is it that obvious?”

“The state of your clothes and the way your scarfing down that food are good indicators,” he replied with a smirk. He held out his hand and said, “Folks around here call me Solo.”

Steve shook his hand and replied, “And I’m Steve Rogers. Nice to meet you, Mr. Solo.”

The other man laughed and said, “Alright, I’ll give you the back story to my name if you give me yours!”

Steve’s stomach sank. He gave him his real name.

“Y-you first,” Steve garbled as he tried to come up with an explanation. The man clearly recognized his name so it must still be synonymous with Captain America. What was he going to do??

“When I was younger, I smuggled a lot of stuff into the city and I am absolutely positive there are aliens among us. So much so that the other guys pegged me for one of those conspiracy nuts!” The man laughed and Steve’s brows pinched together in confusion. He noticed and he gasped, “I’m Solo, like Han Solo? Don't tell me you've never seen Star Wars?”

“No..?”

“My God! You Amish or something??”

“Bad case of amnesia?” Steve tried the aliment out again and Mr. Solo believed him.

“Got a few cases like yours here. Plus combat vets, people with disabilities who had to choose between owning a home or gettin’ medication…It’s tough out here.” Solo clasped his shoulder and promised, “I’ll help you out and you can help me with the aliens.”

Steve smiled gratefully at him and whispered with total sincerity, “Thank you.”

\---

Steve had nowhere to go so he stayed with Solo. Solo showed him the ropes of living on the streets in modern day New York. There were places who offered food, shelters to sleep, and places to congregate with other homeless.

Steve was quick to grow out a beard and, from Goodwill, got a large backpack to tote around his shield and uniform along with other amenities needed for living on the streets.

With Solo vouching for him, Steve was accepted into the homeless community quickly. They partnered up as Solo showed him the ropes and Steve assisted him. Everyone started to call him ‘Chewie’ which Solo explained was another reference to the movie and Steve’s height. It apparently was the name of a tall, hairy alien who was the companion to the fictional Solo. Steve took it all in stride. He was much taller than Solo though Solo was much more hairier. The new name have Steve a new identity and the excuse not to give out his real name.

He and Solo stuck an odd, unspoken deal. Solo taught him how to live out on the streets and about the new century he found himself in without question. Steve protected Solo from the less friendly homeless and from his own mind.

“The aliens are in the pipes,” Solo murmured to him one day his mind had grown too fragile. He was rocking back and forth, clutching his arms gasping, “If you are careful enough, they’ll enter your body though the water and take over your mind. _Your mind, Chewie_!”

Steve would rub his back like Bucky used to when he was having an asthma attack and whisper sweet reassurances to him until he calmed down. Solo’s episodes usually lasted only a couple of hours every few days. Afterwards, he would always pretend like nothing was wrong and he’d go back to joking with Steve as if nothing had happened.

Solo had also helped him to search for Peggy, to see if she was still alive…and she was… It took them a quick internet search at a library in a rundown neighborhood to find her.

Steve went to see her but she did not remember him. She was an old lady with Alzheimer’s and she…she was very weak. She was not going to survive much longer and what destroyed Steve the most was that Steve couldn’t even properly say goodbye to her.

It felt nearly as bad when he had lost Bucky. He felt so alone and depressed for days afterward that if it weren’t for Solo he didn’t know where he’d be.

For an immeasurable amount of time, Steve moved through the world like a ghost and merely lived by shadowing Solo.

Until one day, they were on the way to meet up with some of Solo’s friends when something caught Steve’s eye. They were walking through the city, crossing the tourist zone to get to their less reputable area, when Steve saw the name “Stark.”

He stopped in his tracks and stared up at the tower in shock. It was under construction but was already one of the tallest skyscrapers in the city.

“Is that – Stark, as in Anthony Stark?” Steve gasped.

Solo glanced at the building almost lazily. It was one of his good days so Steve knew he’d get a straight answer as he replied, “The one and only. You’ll see Iron Man fly into it every once and awhile. Tourists love it.”

“...I knew his dad, he’d get a kick out of this,” Steve murmured. Howard would’ve probably been so proud of his son’s accomplishments.

Solo scoffed and sarcastically said, “Alright ‘Steve Rogers’ let’s keep moving before the boys in blue show up and forcibly move us along.” Steve kept his eyes on the tower as they walked away and Solo laughed and added, “Hey! You should ask your friend there for some booze! I hear he has the best in the country!”

Steve too a few more steps and stopped. He regarded the tower in a whole new light and whispered, “Maybe I _should_ talk to him.”

Solo did not catch what he said and asked, “What?”

“…I’m going to go talk to Stark,” Steve announced and started walking toward the tower with a renew purpose. The only people he ever trusted with his life were Bucky, Peggy, and Howard. Being Howard’s son, Anthony was the closest thing Steve had in connection to his late friend. Solo was great in helping Steve learn but he didn’t know the truth and Steve desperately wanted to find someone he could trust with it. There was a very good chance he could share that with Howard’s son.

“Whoa! Whoa! Chewie, wait! I was just joking! You can’t go there!” Solo ran the distance that separated them and grabbed his arm, gasping, “They’d arrest you for trespassing or causing a disturbance to the peace or whatever they can tac on ya for going someplace where you’re not supposed ta go!”

“I just want to speak with him, even if it’s only for a moment,” Steve said, glancing from Solo to the tower.

“You and every eligible lady in the city,” Solo grumbled with a roll of his eyes.

Steve scratched his beard and peered up at the growing skyscraper. He murmured, “I just need to speak with him for a moment. I know he'll want to speak to me once he knows who…once he meets me.”

“You're more likely to meet the governor than Tony Stark,” Solo stated sarcastically. Steve dropped his head. Solo was right. Stark was famous and Steve was just a nobody. Solo sighed heavily and murmured, “We're gonna look like fools but…we can try to make an appointment. He probably has a front desk in that lobby of his.”

Hope billowed Steve's chest. He asked, “Do you think it will work?”

“Doubt it! But can't say we didn't try, eh? And, if we get arrested, you owe me all of your pudding cups from the dinner meals for the next month.”

Steve grinned and promised, “You have a deal!”

\---

Elbow deep in his Iron Man suit, Tony expected to be busy in his lab for the rest of the day. His music was playing on shuffle and he was humming along nonsensically with the tunes and randomly tapping his foot with the base beats.

“…Sir, there was an anomaly on one of the outside cameras that may peak your interest,” Jarvis interrupted his melodic droning.

Tony sat up with a mighty groan as his back muscles protested the movement. A few bones popped and he rubbed his neck to soften some muscles. He murmured, “What kind of anomaly? End of the world anomaly? Or needs paperwork anomaly? Because if it’s paperwork then I am not here.”

“This matter cannot be quantified by your realms of importance, Sir.”

“So it’s paperwork important,” Tony deduced. He nodded to himself and said, “Yeah, I’m not here.” He leaned back down and sought out the gear he was just working with. He mumbled to himself, “Is it weird that I miss the excitement from end of the world important?”

“Yes, Sir, such dangerous pastimes can only spell disaster,” Jarvis retorted to the question he had asked himself. “I would suggest professional help.”

Tony huffed and rose once again from his work to speak to his AI. He put his hands on his knees and retorted, “That’s enough sass from you.”

“Sir, the anomaly is actually in connection to Project Rebirth.”

Tony jerked to a stop and looked up to one of Jarvis’s camera. He gasped, “Why didn't you say so in the first place! Fury here? He drop off a package or-?”

A hologram opened before Tony of…what looked like two homeless men being pushed out of his building. They both fell roughly and Tony winced. The larger of the two lost his backpack and its top opened revealing…

Tony’s heart flipped in his chest.

“J! Give me a close up with a cleaner image!”

The round object that had slid out of the bag was mostly covered with a strange orange tarp but a part of the tarp parted in the fall and a piece was revealed, portraying the familiar red, white, and blue coloring he had been looking at for the last few weeks.

“J, did you run specs? Is it-?”

Jarvis expanded the image before him and it was overlaid with his father’s notes and measurements.

It fit. The curvature of the metal body and the paint job were spot on.

“There is a 77.65% that this is the shield your father created for Project Rebirth,” Jarvis stated.

“Where is it? Where is _he_?” Tony gasped and expanded the picture to peer at the bearded man. The video played and he watched as the man scrambled to hide the shield away. Tony continued, “And why was he here?”

“To see you, Sir,” Jarvis replied. “He requested a meeting. When asked what the meeting was for, he said he merely wanted to speak with you. From there, security removed him and his companion.”

“Did he leave a name??”

“No, but I did record his companion speaking with him. He called him, ‘Chewie.’”

“…Chewie?

“And he called his companion, Solo. As these are the names to popular Star Wars characters, and not on the generic name Sensis list for their estimated age brackets, there is a very good possibility that these are not their birth names.”

Tony frowned at the hologram and groaned, “The man looks more like a dorrito than Chewbacca! Run a facial recognition on both of them, J, and, if they come back, inform my employees that I want to speak to them immediately!”

\---

“Sir, we found it.”

Coulson’s heart rose to his throat and for a moment he feared he would not be able to reply. He swallowed thickly and adjusted his grip on the phone as he stated, “Good. Forward me and the retrieval team the coordinates immediately.”           

“Yes, sir,” the junior agent murmured on the other end. The young man had to be standing only a few feet dozen from history. They had finally found it: the plane that had crashed into the arctic decades prior – the Captain’s plane.           

“Do not enter it until we know it’s safe,” Coulson continued, getting to his feet and excitedly crossing the empty room.

“Of course, sir…and sir?”

Coulson paused and asked, “Yes?”

“Congratulations. I know you’ve been looking for him for a long time.”

Coulson grinned and looked at the antique poster on the wall. He smiled at the visage of the Captain and replied, “Thank you, son. I’ll see you in an hour.”

He hung up the phone and, bursting with pride, he saluted the Captain. In the next couple of hours, he will be in the heart of the arctic and at Cap’s tomb.

Finally, he will help his hero be properly laid to rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha Coulson's in for a big surprise!  
> Two different forces looking for Steve. Who will find him first? (Hint: it's in the title for chapter three!)  
> The boys are finally getting together but it won't be a happy first meeting! XD
> 
> Next time, Ch. 3: Capsicle vs. the Invincible, Flabbergasted Iron Man


	3. Capsicle vs. the Invincibly, Flabbergasted Iron Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Out sooner than usual! But that's only because of a shorter chapter! D:  
> Longer chapter next time I promise! <3

Tony quickly discovered that if someone did not have an address or made no income it was nearly impossible to find him.

Yet nearly impossible was not totally _impossible_. It meant there was still a small chance of finding him and Tony was big on accomplishing the impossible.

So since the normal channels weren't working. He had Jarvis looking into the more unconventional ones. In other words, nearly all of his resources went into the search and it might have been considered somewhat illegal…

Jarvis was busily hacking into and monitoring all the security cameras in the city and Tony had hired a handful of PIs to search homeless shelters.

As a man surrounded by technology, Tony was used to immediate results so it was no surprise he was not too happy when all his PIs were able to amass was that Solo and Chewie were good friends and squat buddies that patrolled the city in an uneven pattern.

Jarvis was even less informative as most of the cameras he hacked did not have good quality and it was nearly impossible to see the difference between a man and a dog nonetheless pick out Chewie from the hundreds of thousands who walked the streets daily.

“How can two guys who call themselves ‘Chewie’ and ‘Solo’ be so hard to find?!” Tony finally cracked, slamming his fist into the desk in front of him.

“Sir, I have been running their photos through both state and city databases but if neither have been arrested or had a state job then there will most likely be no results.”

“How about I put out an ad: ‘Tony Stark Looking for a Dorito shaped man that goes by Chewie.’”

“The press would have a field day and Ms. Potts will not be amused.”

“If I put out a billboard, Chewie himself might see it and try coming back…” Tony added with a smirk as he imagined Pepper’s expression.

She’d probably wear the same expression when he eventually got the shield and conveniently forgot to tell her. She’d walk in on him scanning it or, afterwards, and spot it hanging on the wall and ask him about it. He chuckled to himself as he imagined the resulting lecture she’d give him. But first he had to get that shield…

Tony chewed on the inside of his lip and a realization hit him out of nowhere.

“Where did Dorito get that shield?!”

“Sir?”

Tony pulled up the specs in holograms around him and said, “The official report was that the shield was lost with Captain America in the arctic! So how the hell did a homeless guy in New York get his hands on it?!”

“Are you suggesting SHIELD falsified the reports, Sir?”

Tony looked over the scan of the decades old report one last time before finally replying, “I think this warrants another call to Coulson.”

\---

Coulson was one of the first to enter the downed plane.

His excitement was almost palpable. He had built and studied the model of the plane when he was a child and knew all of its workings by heart. The old model still sat on his bookshelf at the office.

Coulson had to stop himself from running his hands over the plane’s id number on the tail. He had to keep some decorum with the junior agents watching his every move. Instead, he marveled over the genuine numbers, attesting to its authenticity. He was usually stoic in front of the junior agents but right now he couldn't wipe the smile off his face.

This was it. This was the plane Cap had crashed into the Atlantic to save New York. It was Cap’s tomb and inside were the remains of the legend himself.

He was only feet away from the man he had idolized his entire life.

In his mind, Coulson compared it to the great discovery of King Tut and felt as excited as the early explorers must have felt.

No one had entered the plane upon its discovery. They waited on the diagnostics team to do a scan to make sure it was safe. The Red Skull planned to destroy several cities and for all they knew there could have been radioactive materials onboard.

When it was cleared for entry, Coulson called up his team and they stepped inside.

His footsteps echoed through the body of the plane and made his heartbeat faster. Where would Cap be? At the helm with the plane’s radio, where Carter last heard him? Or by the parachutes, trying to make one last escape?

Or…

Coulson’s thoughts dwindled to a stop as he noted the fresh footprints.

Someone else had been there.

They were a few weeks old but it clearly showed that they were not the first to discover Cap’s final resting place.

His excitement disappeared and in its place a large lump filled his throat and threatened to suffocate him.

Coulson demanded from the junior agent at his side, “No one else has been here?”

“No, sir.”

“Get somebody on these footprints immediately. I want to know who they belong to within the hour.”

The junior agent stared at the footprints with shock, just noticing them. Like with Coulson, fear began to grow in the young man’s eyes. He gasped, “Right away, sir!” And then ran from the plane.

Coulson continued forward, grimly following the footprints in the ice. The footprints led out of the plane. There must have been another way inside. How did his team miss it?

Whoever it was, by his gait, he was either injured or…burdened by a heavy load.

Coulson imagined someone carrying out Cap’s remains and bit down on the inside of his lip hard enough to draw blood.

He came to a halt where the footprints showed signs of bending down and he felt his stomach drop as he took in the large, circular formation left imprinted in the ice next to the footprints.

This person took _THE_ shield. This person had CAP’s Shield. Anger was beginning to boil in his stomach. Were they planning to sell it on the black market?

He followed the footprints, planning dark revenge on Cap’s behalf. He trailed the footprints and knew they would lead him to where Cap had passed.

He knew the body would not be there but he expected that the body had been stolen.

What he did not expect was to see an end to the footprints.

The footprints originated from the pilot’s seat.

Coulson stared incredulouslya at the outline of the body that once resided in the seat.

Bits of his uniform were left behind in the ice and his hands had left deep imprints into the ice as he had pushed himself out of the chair. Coulson’s jaw dropped as he examined the irrefutable evidence in front of him.

Nobody had taken Cap nor his shield…Cap…Captain America had gotten up on _his own_ and he’d done so _recently_.

Coulson felt as if the world suddenly spun off its axis. Last month he dealt with the Norse God of Thunder who, in actuality, resided from another world. Now he did not find Cap’s tomb but…but the place where Cap _had_ _survived_ a crash decades prior and apparently hibernated until recently…Or, like out of a horror movie, the Captain was now one of the undead…looking to feed upon human flesh…

Coulson wouldn’t have considered it a year ago but…since he met Thor, it seemed like anything was possible. He shook his head at the silly thought. Cap had the serum running through his veins. It had amazing healing factors and maybe, just maybe it was what saved him.

Coulson pinched his chin, turned to the nearest agent, and commanded, “Set up a perimeter immediately and find the nearest camp of civilization. Check to see if they got any unexpected visitors or if any of their supplies went missing.”

“Sir?”

Coulson’s eyes went back to the chair and his emotions churned within him fear, excitement, and apprehension all collided without any change to his outward appearance.

Coulson removed his phone from his pocket and pulled off his thick glove in order to properly dial Fury.

His phone started to buzz with Stark’s number but Coulson hit the ignore button without a second’s pause.

He dialed Fury, held the phone up to his ear, and the Director picked up on the first ring. Coulson stated, “Sir, we’ve got a problem.”

Coulson did not realize how big of a problem he had, because when he hit the ignore button, on the other side of the world, Tony Stark’s eyes narrowed with suspicion as his call was rejected. He slipped the phone back into his pocket and announced, “Jarvis, we’ve got some hacking to do.”

\---

July 4th was Steve’s birthday but he was not sure what his age was…Was he 27 or 93?

No matter his age, he was not in a celebrating mood and neither was Solo.

“They’re in the pipes, Chewie. The fireworks distract people, make them look up, and the aliens come out and sink into your skin,” Solo murmured.

“They’re not going to get you,” Steve whispered in a tired promise. They sat in an alley and, as Solo rocked, Steve watched citizens walk by. The people were excited. They were walking to a nearby event, some kind of festival.

As he walked the streets he rarely saw any Captain America memorabilia but his red, white, and blue color scheme seemed to be a popular choice for celebrating the nation’s birthday. He’d seen a number of people wearing shirts with his shield or a visage of him from a recruitment poster. Children ran around with plastic shields and pretended to be him as they followed their parents to the event. He’d even saw someone in a uniform similar to the one had worn on the USO tour, complete with mask and shield.

“I hope Iron Man flies in like last year!” One girls exclaimed, grabbing Steve’s attention. He saw a brief glimpse of Stark flying to his tower last week. Steve smiled at the memory. He’d love to see the suit in action again.

“Iron Man, Iron Man, Iron Man,” Solo muttered darkly. “His technology is too advanced. It’s alien. He’s one of them,” Solo grumbled.

“No, he’s just really smart,” Steve gently admonished. He touched Solo’s back to rub it but the man flinched and viciously swatted Steve away.

Solo’s long nails cut his arm and Solo’s attitude instantly changed. He gasped, “Chewie! I’m so sorry! I thought you were one of them! I-I…Your arm…”

Solo’s face became deathly pale and Steve followed his gaze to see him staring at the spot on his arm where Solo had scratched him.

“I-I cut you! You healed! You healed- _instantly_! There was blood and _now_ -!” Solo scrambled to his feet and Steve held out his hands to try to calm him down. Solo hissed, “You’re one of them! You’re an alien!”

“No, Solo!” Steve got to his feet and Solo scrambled backwards, creating more distance between them. Steve continued, “I’m not an alien, Solo. It’s just me! Ste-Che-Chewie, _Chewie_ , remember?”

“ _Get away from me_!” Solo hissed and started to run.

Solo was the only friend he had in this world— _his only connection to this world_. Steve ran after him, driven by his fear of being left alone again.

Solo pushed through a family, knocking a toddler over. The child began to cry and the father yelled angrily at Solo.

Solo looked over his shoulder and saw Steve had followed him. His eyes widened in fear and Solo plunged into another group and grabbed a preteen girl. She screamed as Solo used her as a shield between them.

“SOLO! Put that girl down!” Steve hissed and skidded to a stop. One of the girl’s friends grabbed at Solo’s arm and he pushed the other girl away. He pulled a knife out of his pocket and swung it around wildly. Everyone backed away from him but Steve, who stepped forward and tried to placate him. “Solo, _please_!”

An officer bound forward and pushed past Steve, screaming for Solo to let go of the girl. More security came running over from the nearby festival.

And then it was anarchy.

\---

Tony rolled his shoulders as he fit into his new armor. He’d just finished constructing the Mark 50 yesterday and it was going to be her first official flight. The armor shined nicely from its recent polish and all the systems checks he had running were coming up golden.

Tony had promised the mayor he would swoop in before the main ceremony and Pepper had been calling him hourly not to forget. The mayor was practically the only reason they got the permits to build the arc reactor in his tower and even Tony knew not to abuse the favors he promised to the man.

He’d be gone an hour at the most and Jarvis would continue their search for Cap’s shield and the elusive “Chewie.”

The helmet was placed on his head and Jarvis announced, “The Mark 50 is ready for flight, Sir.”

“Thanks, J. Don’t dillydally while I’m out.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Sir.”

Tony chuckled at his AI’s tone and turned on his thrusters. He shot out of the Tower and circled it to admire the building’s progress before turning uptown.

Less than a minute into his fight, Jarvis interrupted it by announcing, “Sir, the police are requesting assistance on a hostage situation. Backup is being delayed by the holiday crowds.”

“On it,” Tony chipped and a little resentment boiled in his gut at the thought of somebody being hurt in _his_ city, right in his backyard. Jarvis relayed the coordinates to his helmet and Tony blasted forward.

He spotted the crowd gathering and the flashing lights of the two police vehicles. Jarvis focused his cameras on the perpetrator and the knife he was wielding around. Tony flew up behind him and shot the knife from his hand with rubber bullets before the man even noticed him.

Tony did not even notice his face until he landed and he turned to him.

“Holy fuck, J. Is that-?”

“The one who goes by ‘Solo?’ Yes, sir.”

Tony quickly scanned the area and saw Chewie standing off to the side with the police.

Tony’s heart skipped a beat. He was wearing _the_ backpack.

_Did he still have the shield?_

Tony could spare the large man a glance because Solo pointed at Tony and screamed, “ALIEN!”

The knife was gone but Solo still had a hold on the girl. Tony locked in on both of the man’s arms with his sensors and retorted, “Sorry to disappoint you but I’m an Earthling, born and raised.”

He pointed his hands at Solo and the rubber bullet guns rose out of the shell of his arms. Tony threatened, “Let the girl go now or I will fire.”

“I will never give into alien demands!”

“SOLO?!” Chewie called out in alarm.

“Don’t complain to me about the bruises later, bud,” Tony retorted and fired.

But his rubber bullets didn’t hit their mark.

A dark shadow jumped in front of Solo and he heard his bullets bounce off it with multiple loud twangs. The rubber bullets ricocheted into the neighboring building and the glass exploded, making everyone underneath it scream and scatter.

Tony had no eyes for the damage or the mayhem it caused.

In a matter of seconds, Chewie had somehow managed to cross several hundred feet, block the bullets with the shield on his back, and grab the girl from Solo’s hold. His backpack was made out of cheap material and had torn under the pressure of the high powered shots. Three distinct holes revealed the red, white, and blue shield beneath. Tony’s eyes were glued to the two points visible of the star and, in his ear, Jarvis murmured, “It is an 89.3% match now, Sir.”

The police jumped on the madman and quickly handcuffed him. The girl ran from Chewie, screaming until she reached the safety of the police.

Tony was near salivating at the shield’s nearness but he practically choked on it when the man wielding the defensive weapon turned to toward Tony.

Sharp blue eyes glared at him and, a voice he’d heard hundreds of times from news reals, reprimanded, “There was no need to fire on him! His weapon was gone!”

Tony’s jaw dropped. He’d grown out a beard and wasn’t wearing his uniform but – _there was no question_ – Tony gasped, “St-Steve Rogers?”

Rogers ripped his shield from his backpack and he snarled, “ _Why did you fire on a defenseless man_?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now the boys are together!  
> Hopefully, they don't bash each other's brains out in the meantime! XD  
> And then there's also that meddlesome SHIELD... hmmm hmmm, what will happen with them in response to this?
> 
> Next time, Ch. 4: Clicked


	4. Clicked

Natasha had positioned herself at a vantage point between Stark Tower and the mayor’s podium. Through her rifle’s scope, she watched Stark exit his building and then pointed it at the stage to where the mayor and his people were waiting.

Even though Stark had fired her after finding out she worked for SHIELD, she was still assigned to his case. Fury expected her to keep Stark in line and keep him alive.

It was better said than done.

In one ear, she had a direct line of the police feed running nonstop. She heard the call for backup on the hostage situation and, when Stark did not appear on stage several seconds later, she rolled her eyes and swung her rifle around and pointed it down the street with the action.

Stark was there, guns raised, and she notched the safety off her rifle.

She focused the crosshairs on the back of his opponent’s head and laid her finger on the trigger.

\---

Tony’s hands shot into the air as a sign of defeat and he yelled, “Rubber bullets! I would have never killed him! _They were just rubber bullets_!”

The super soldier heard his words and relaxed slightly as he lowered his shield. Rogers’ rage over nearly watching his friend being murdered in front of him melted away with the explanation and clarity dawned in his eyes.

Rogers totally lowered his shield and gasped, “You recognize me?”

“Hell yeah, and a lot more are going to if we don’t get out of here now! I got Jarvis scrambling people’s cell phones right now but if we don’t book it now the entire country is going to be talking about the Independence Day version of a Christmas Carol in the next 5 minutes!”

If Rogers was willingly living on the streets, Tony doubted that he wanted to announce his presence to the world.

Rogers blanched and tried to stuff his shield back into his bag.

“Forget it, I got you,” Tony shot forward and swept the Captain off his feet and into the air. Rogers yelped and instantly wrapped his arms tightly around Tony’s neck. They flew straight into the sky, above the tallest of the skyscrapers in the matter of seconds.

“I’ll notify the police that you are removing the possible belligerent man,” Jarvis stated.

“Thanks, J,” Tony murmured. Jarvis was pretty much piloting the suit at this point too because Tony could not tear his eyes off the man in his arms.

The Captain was scared at first but once they were over the Hudson, he whooped excitedly and seemed to enjoy the flight. Tony grinned upon seeing the twinkle in his late-hero’s eyes…God, rewrite that, no longer late-hero, the man in his arms was alive and breathing. Jarvis was already running comparisons to photos from the forties and they were all coming up as a match.

He was real.

Captain Steve – _Fucking_ – Rogers was _in his arms_ , _young_ , and _alive_!

How did this happen? Where has he been this entire time??

Tony took Rogers straight to his tower and flew him into the penthouse.

Tony stepped out of his armor and ordered, “J, fly the suit around the mayor like last year. There is no way I’m leaving the Tower for the next week!”

The suit sealed itself and then nodded to Tony as Jarvis took control. From the suit, Jarvis replied, “Yes, Sir,” and then took off.

“I-It can fly itself??” Rogers gasped, wide-eyed.

Tony rounded on him and demanded, “How the hell are you alive??”

“Long story but…what about Solo?” Rogers asked, his face pinching with concern.

“The man who goes by ‘Solo’ is being booked by the police right now,” Jarvis announced and Rogers flinched down as if he thought Jarvis was going to swoop down on him.

“What was that?? Who’s there??”

“That was Jarvis,” Tony stated with a grin. He’d never seen someone respond to Jarvis with such an extreme reaction and he had to muffle his laughter. He explained, “He’s my AI. He’s like…a really smart robot in my ceiling.”

Rogers’ amazement grew and his eyes widened almost comically.

“It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Captain Rogers,” Jarvis stated.

“Uh, you too,” Rogers squeaked.

Tony had to smother his chuckle upon that retort. He was smiling idiotically at Rogers but he could not help it. Tony grew up idolizing this man and now here he was, in the flesh, interacting with Jarvis.

“Due to his erratic behavior, Mr. Solo will most likely be placed under psychiatric observation for the next 72 hours before he is charged officially,” Jarvis stated and Rogers’ face fell.

Rogers murmured, “I knew he had some problems but…I never thought…”

Tony reached out and grasped his shoulder reassuringly. He whispered, “Hey, don’t worry. I’ll get him the best representation money could buy!”

Rogers smiled sadly at him and said, “We haven’t even properly introduced ourselves to each other and you’re doing this for me?”

Tony laughed and said, “Of course! It would be a national travesty if I didn’t help out Captain America! And by the way, _WHAT_ the hell?? How are you here? Alive? And…” Tony motioned to all of Rogers and asked, “How are you still so…perfect?”

Rogers instantly flushed and gave him an odd look as he replied, “I’m not perfect.”

Tony clapped his arm again and tried a different route. “Alright, let’s start this over. We started out with an unconventional beginning. Hi, I’m Tony Stark and you knew my dad when he was younger than me. How about we sit down and we talk, starting from the day your plane went down?”

Rogers smirked and by the way his eyes danced with amusement, Tony knew he was going to like this man. He held out his hand to Tony and said, “Hi, Tony, I’m Steve.”

Tony clasped his hand and shook it as he excitedly replied, “Hello, Steve.”

\---

Natasha watched their landing on the top balcony to Stark’s tower and kept an eye on the two men until they disappeared into the building.

She pulled away from her gun and sat up. She pulled out her phone and her thumb hovered over Coulson’s number but she paused.

With a smirk, she selected Clint’s number instead and slipped the phone back into her pocket as her Bluetooth began to ring in her ear. Clint picked up on the first ring.

“Yellow,” he said in way of greeting.

Natasha forwent a greeting and asked, “Any luck on the Cap search?”

“Ugh, don’t get me started. Have you looked outside? Half of New York is dressed like Cap right now.”

“Hmmm, I just saw a six foot, blond man, carrying a certain shield. He kinda looks like your guy,” she stated and began to disassemble her rifle.

“ _Shut the front door_ ,” Clint hissed. “Details. _Now_.”

“I get the pick of the priority missions for the next month,” she retorted.

“I am tracing your call right now, you cheat.”

“And I viewed your man with my scope so he’s nowhere near me,” she said with a small smile. She placed the last pieces of her rifle away and zipped up her bag. She threw it over her shoulder and stated, “It’s up to two months.”

“…You were looking at Stark, weren’t you? I heard over the scanner that he stopped that hostage situation. He’s with Stark, isn’t he?”

She compromised, “Whoever gets to him first gets the priorities for the next three months.”

“You’re on.”

Natasha ran to the edge and snapped her hook onto the railing before jumping over. Her tether whined as it quickly unfurled and Natasha was smirking to herself.

This was going to be more fun than Budapest.

\---

Steve and Tony sat in Tony’s huge living room and Steve recounted the events that led to his reawakening in the 21st century. As he told his tale, Tony was attentive and leaned in with bright eyes and an excited smile.

The secrets, Steve had been keeping for the last few weeks, spilled out of him. From what he’d seen of Tony so far, Steve still felt the older man had earned his trust with the few things he had managed to do for Steve in the short time he’d known him…he’d not only helped Steve slip away before his identity was discovered, but he was also getting some help for Solo too.

He also discovered how giving he was when Steve told Tony about devouring the food at the shelter, Tony sprang to his feet and gasped, “Of course! Your metabolism!”

He grabbed Steve’s hand and pulled him off the couch. Tony gasped, “You need to eat!”

Steve’s stomach clenched with hunger like it seemed to always be doing since he woke but he cajoled, “You don’t have to…”

But Tony wouldn’t hear any of it. He dragged Steve to his kitchen and deposited him at the counter. He then opened both his fridge and pantry and quickly emptied their contents out in front of Steve.

He shoved some bags toward him and asked, “Did they have chips in your day, old timer?”

Steve smirked, already liking Tony’s eccentric manner, and replied, “Of course, I’m not from the Stone Ages.”

“BUT have you ever tried _pizza_ flavored?”

“That sounds disgusting!” Steve gasped, imagining the chips being soaked in cheese and red sauce.

“Don’t hate it till you ate it!” Tony countered and tossed him the said product.

Steve stared at the bag suspiciously and murmured, “I think you’re trying to poison me…”

“Eat, Capsicle, and return to the story!” Tony leaned forward from across the counter and waited for him to continue with an air of anticipation.

Steve shook his head with a chuckle and popped open the bag. He cautiously took a small bite and froze when the flavor exploded in his mouth. He’d eaten chips with Solo but they’d all been the ones donated to the church and they were all plain. He gave Tony a surprised look and Tony’s grin widened. Tony said, “I know, right?”

Steve excitedly dove into the food as he finished his account. Tony ordered pizzas and, just as Steve was wrapping up his story, they arrived.

Tony’s fridge and pantry were a little sparse so Steve was still hungry even after eating all of the food provided. He bashfully followed Tony to the elevator and flushed as he paid for the food. He muttered, “I’m sorry, you didn’t have to…”

“What kind of host would I be if I didn’t treat?” Tony admonished. He motioned to the stack of boxes, sitting by the delivery boy’s feet, and said, “But you can help out. I think you can handle the heavy lifting.”

Steve readily picked up the boxes and followed Tony back to the kitchen.

Tony concluded Steve’s account by stating, “Well you’ve traveled far…and now here we are.” Steve placed the pizza boxes down and Tony continued, “So you don’t want to fight a war you are not a part of which is understandable. The army has been requesting my tech ever since Iron Man first appeared and there’s _no way_ I am handing it over. BUT what’s more likely going to happen is that you’ll be poked and prodded and nobody wants that…So the solution’s simple. Let’s get you a new identity.”

“Wha-?”

“You _want_ to have a life, right?” Tony teased.

Shock froze him. Steve stared blankly at Tony as he processed his words.

Ever since he woke, he had been worrying over his future and what he was going to do. His main problem was his identity and being so renowned.

“Y-You can get me a new identity? M-Make it so people don’t know I’m Captain America?” Steve gasped.

“Yeah, easy-peasy.”

Steve stared at Tony, waiting to hear him chuckle at his inane joke but he didn’t. He really could do it. He really could help Steve.

Steve rounded the counter in a few steps. He embraced Tony tightly and gasped, “Thank you!” He buried his face into his shoulder to hide the relieved tears that instantly sprang to his eyes. He gasped again, “Th-Thank you!”

Tony was ridged in his hold for a second and then awkwardly returned the hug. Tony hummed, “Uhhh, you’re welcome? Really, Cap, it isn’t any problem. Like I said, easy-peasy.”

Steve laughed and pulled away. Smiling widely, he said, “A new life! What should I do? I don’t even know half of what the future holds! I mean – I’ve seen—.”

Steve’s words tangled on his tongue as a redheaded woman strolled into the room, wearing a tight black body suit and carrying a long bag over her shoulder. Steve jumped out his and Tony’s embrace and the woman said, “Hello, Stark.”

Tony went rigid and sputtered, “H-How-Jarvis-?”

She strolled past them and sat on the couch as she replied, “I kept a few mementos from my days as your assistant…and I hope you didn’t think SHIELD wouldn’t notice you carrying Captain Steve Rogers into your tower right after you were involved in a hostage situation.”

All of Steve’s excitement deflated and worry began to trickle in again.

“Natalie, if you-.”

“Natasha, Stark, please call me Natasha.”

“Natasha…Steve wants nothing to do with Fury or SHIELD,” Tony stated slowly.

“But SHIELD wants everything to do with the Captain.”

“SHIELD?” Steve cautiously cut in.

“Government assholes,” Tony growled.

Uneasiness churned Steve’s stomach as everything was spiraling out of control. He whispered, “What does SHIELD want?”

Natasha’s eyes fell on him and she studied him for a moment before saying, “They want their Captain back and the world’s only perfect super soldier to be under their control and out of enemy hands.”

Steve stepped closer to Tony and further from the agent on the couch as he stated, “I won’t go to enemy hands. New York is my home. I’m not leaving it.”

“We have enemies in New York too.”

Another cold reminder of how the world had changed. Steve stated, “This is not my era. This is not my war or fight.”

Natasha regarded him curiously and asked, “Can you really not fight? Even with innocents being hurt and people unjustly dying?”

Steve’s heart immediately rebelled at the notion and he looked down as he struggled with what he really wanted. Could he really stop fighting?

“Steve needs time to adjust to our world before we throw him into it and ask him to defend it,” Tony stated the words Steve had been struggling to say. “He’s gone through things no one else has _ever_ before. Don’t ask him to go through more traumas before he’s even on his feet yet. Natasha…If you ever considered me something more than your boss or assignment…please, give Steve this chance. Don’t tell Coulson. Don’t tell SHIELD.”

\---

Natasha met Clint in the lobby and held up her phone to him so he can see the image on the screen. He’d just arrived, having come all the way from Brooklyn.

“Holy Crap, it’s Cap,” the Clint hissed as his eyes focused on the image. In a blur of motion, he drew out his phone with quick reflexes.

“Don’t.”

“…Nat?”

“I’m calling in my favor,” Natasha stated solemnly and the archer paled.

“…I don’t understand. Of all the times to use it, why-.”

“…I was never given a second chance at a new life and if he’s willing to take it…I want him to have it.”

Clint slowly put his phone away and whispered, “This is against orders, if Coulson ever found out-.”

“You aren’t involved. You were never here. Go back to Brooklyn and continue your search,” she whispered. “I’ll keep an eye on Stark and his guest here. I'll make sure they don’t get into any trouble."

Clint still looked uneasy and she said, “Cap needs some time and, as strange as it sounds, Stark might just be the best thing for him.”

\---

Once they realized Natasha was going to keep her word and SHIELD wasn’t coming for Steve, they relaxed.

Tony informed Pepper that he needed the next couple of weeks to work on extremely intricate matters. Pepper was suspicious at first but then he promised to stay in the tower the entire time and she was pacified enough that he was not going to create a ruckus.

He loved that woman, she kept him in his place. She was one of the few people he could truly trust. It was why he made her CEO of his company after all.

Tony didn’t make friends. He made business partners, friendly acquaintances, and best friends…and Tony was rare to make best friends because not many people could get on his wavelength like Pepper or Rodney did.

But Steve _did_.

They clicked instantly. Tony turned on his charm and Steve saw right through it. They started off the day tentatively getting to know each other and ended it debating theology and cheating each other at poker. Steve was smart and engaging and Tony could not believe he was real. Not only was his childhood hero alive but he was also this _amazing_ person.

Jarvis had a new identity ready for Steve within the hour they had schemed it but, after several pop culture references going over Steve’s head, Tony deemed it best he get a proper education before they sent him loose into the real world.

Tony personally charged himself with teaching the man the important things like classic rock, cult movies and their actors, and all the different flavors of chips the world provided. They listened to rock all day long, snacked on chips, and watched a movie every night.

It took only an hour for Steve to learn how to operate a tablet and search the internet. Tony directed him to the historically correct websites and Steve dived into learning what had happened since he woke. He’d learned some of the basics already by word of mouth but desperately needed to know more everyday details that most deemed unimportant.

Like most of his generation, Steve hated using his fingertip so Tony got him a stylus pen for the touchscreen. Tony teased him about it relentlessly but Steve would not forgo it. Tony could not help but smile whenever he saw Steve tapping away on his tablet with the stylus.

Steve was also obsessed with Tony’s workshop ever since he first took him there so they spent most of their time there as Steve educated himself. Steve especially loved his bots and Dummy was smitten with the super soldier. Tony initially took him to the workshop to show off his bots but Steve could not get enough of the place. He had questions about everything and he absorbed the information like a sponge.

A week passed and then another. Steve fit into Tony’s life as easily as a puzzle piece and neither noticed the passage of time.

As Tony upgraded his armor, Steve was usually sharing a workbench with him or sitting on the couch.

“There is so much more to art, like animation, and 3d imaging, and…I want to learn it all. I think I want to go back to art school.”

Tony glanced up and found Steve looking at him from the couch.

“That sounds great! Didn’t you sketch before you became Captain America?”

Steve flushed and said, “All the time.”

“Have you done anything recently?”

Steve’s flush expanded to cover his entire face and he murmured, “Yeah…I-Well I found a paint app on here…” He motioned to his tablet.

Tony put down his tools and gasped, “Let me see!”

He hurried over to Steve’s side and, with a bright red face, Steve murmured, “Well…I drew you.”

“Really? I hope you got my good side!”

Steve handed him the tablet. The files were already open and Tony swiped through them. There were dozens of pictures. Some were rough sketches but others were fully detailed and colored images. Most were images from the workshop and, yes, the majority revolved around Tony in various states of work.

He was a little embarrassed he hadn’t noticed Steve watching him so much. He reached the end of the images and the last picture, the first Steve drew, were of a couple he’d never seen before.

Tony turned the tablet to Steve and asked, “Who are they?”

Steve’s face crumbled as soon as his eyes fell on the image. Tony only saw the deep sadness in his eyes for a second before Steve masked it all away.

Steve gently grasped the tablet and slipped it from Tony’s hold. Steve whispered, “They were my friends…from before…”

“Before the crash,” Tony guessed. Steve stared at the picture and nodded stiffly.

“They’re gone?” Tony deduced.

Steve bit down on his lip and whispered, “Bucky died before the crash and Peggy…Peggy doesn’t remember me…she has Alzheimer’s.”

“Shit…” Tony cursed. Of all the luck. Steve did not get it easy. He clasped Steve’s shoulder and said, “I’m sorry, man…If there’s anything I can do for you, please, let me know.”

Steve smiled sadly at him and whispered, “Thank you…You’ve done more than enough. You…You’re a good friend, Tony. Thank you, for everything.”

\---

The American camp had only two security cameras. One at the hospital where the medications were kept under lock and key and the other was overlooking the docks to watch the comings and goings of the port.

The port’s busy summer months had come to a close and August was ushering in the beginning of fall and the eventual total freeze of winter. Everyday Coulson got a little closer to the Captain but the retracing of his footsteps was slow and they were still weeks behind him.

Coulson’s team pounced on the camera to the docks and poured over the footage immediately. They knew which ship the Captain had left on but they had to confirm. The tech guys were working on clearing the footage and the rest of the agents were scouring up any clues they could find in the arctic camp.

Coulson was on the phone with an agent who had been on the same ship as the Captain for two weeks.

“He wasn’t the mission, Coulson. I paid him no mind,” Agent May murmured.

“He has a universally recognizable face. There is even a poster of him in the Science Division’s offices.”

“I am not in the Science Division and I was not actively looking for a dead man,” she retorted dryly. “Listen, Coulson, all I can tell you is that he kept to himself and was uninteresting until he leapt off the ship and was never heard from again. I can give his last known location at least but his mental state…I can’t help you.”

“No, May, the location is good, great even. It brings us a step closer to him.”

“Do you want me in the field?”

“No,” Coulson replied. “Finish your mission for Fury. Don’t worry about us, I’ve got my second best man in New York already. He’s searching Brooklyn as we speak.”

He could hear the diminutive smile in her voice as she replied, “I better be your number one.”

Coulson chuckled and stated, “You know it…” They only spoke for a little longer. He asked her about the mission for Fury and she revealed what she could.

His tech guys suddenly bust into the room and he murmured to May, “I have to go.” He hung up and asked the tech agents, “What do you have?”

One of them placed a laptop on his desk and turned it toward him. Two excitedly gasped at the same time, “It’s him!”

The third leaned over and played the video for him. They had zoomed in, filtered the static, and cleaned up the image. It was not crisp but there was no denying the square jaw, blond, blue eyed man. It was Captain Rogers. He had a rough stubble that usually wasn’t seen in his propaganda films but it was definitely him.

Coulson’s heart raced as he watched the little amount of footage they had on him. The Captain appeared clear-eyed and within his right mind.

Coulson’s face remained stoic in front of his men but inside he was screaming with excitement. He wanted to keep watching the footage but he turned it back to his men and said, “Take this to our behaviorists. I want them to get me everything they can from this…and e-mail me a copy.”

“Yes, sir.”

Coulson nodded them out and picked up his phone as they closed the door behind them. He dialed the number he knew by heart and only had to wait until the second ring until Fury picked up.

“Is it him?”

“Yes, sir,” Coulson replied. “I’m positive it’s him.”

“I’ll take your word on it,” Fury sighed. “Damn. First Norse Gods and now super soldiers from World War II are popping up. Who’s next? Santa Claus?”

“Sir, Agent May said he jumped ship in New York Harbor. I already have Barton searching Cap’s old haunts.”

“Yeah, I saw your orders to your men stateside. We need to get a handle on these super humans. Thor and his merry men are gone but the Captain is ours and we need to keep it that way. I don’t want anyone else getting their hands on him,” Fury commanded.

“Yes, sir…and, sir, Stark is based in New York. He has recently shown an interest in Project Rebirth. He may –.”

“I don’t want Stark anywhere near this! He is not a part of the initiative. He is a consultant only and I _do not_ want him consulting on a delicate matter such as this. Knowing Stark, as soon as he finds out Cap is alive, he’ll announce it to the world. I want this on the down low as long as possible.”

“Yes, sir,” Coulson replied but internally he was groaning. It’d been weeks since he last spoke to him, but when it eventually got out that Captain Rogers is alive Stark will pounce right on it and never let him live it down. He continued, “My team and I will be in New York in the next two hours, three at the most. I will give you another update when we land.”

“Alright…And speaking of Stark. He’s been too quiet. Romanov is good but she doesn’t have an in inside the Tower anymore. If you have time, poke your head in on him. Stark and quiet are a deadly combination.”

“Yes, sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys are finally together but for how long? 
> 
> Next Time, Ch.5: EMP=Emotional Mayhem Prelude  
> (that relationship tag is finally going into play. It would be a shame if SHIELD did something to spoil it ;D)


	5. EMP = Emotional Mayhem Prelude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So those of you who have read my other works, you know I like to take y'all on emotional roller coasters of feels.  
> To those of you who are just joining, buckle in!  
> Let the angst begin!  
> (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧*.'

Steve woke with a strangled gasp. Hyperventilating, he strangled the sweat soaked sheets and stared straight up into the darkness as he caught his breath. His heart was beating so fast it bordered on painful but he did not notice his physical pains…the emotional onslaught from his nightmare was too strong to ignore.

Steve cupped his mouth to stifle the cry that threatened to escape but Jarvis still managed to hear him.

“Are you alright, Captain Rogers?” The AI’s voice resonated from the darkness.

Steve inhaled a long, deep, calming breath and then replied, “I’m fine, Jarvis. It’s just a nightmare.”

But it hurt so much.

He dreamed of it again…Bucky’s fall.

Steve sat up and ran his hands over his face, wiping off the sweat and stray tears that managed to escape. He whispered, “… _I’m so sorry, Buck._ ”

With Steve finally able to settle down and map out a tentative future for himself, all the pain he had locked away was starting to break free. Steve never had a moment to grieve for his best friend – _his_ _brother_. Right after Bucky’s death, he had fought the Red Skull, crashed the plane, woke in the future, and had been struggling to find a purpose until he found Tony. He never got a chance to mourn for him until…now.

“Shall I call, Master Stark?” Jarvis asked.

Steve head snapped up and he gasped, “No! Please—please don’t!”

Tony had already done so much for him, he didn’t want to put this on him as well.

“Very well,” Jarvis stated and fell silent.

Steve laid back down and stared at the ceiling. His clothing and the sheets were sticking uncomfortably to him and his melancholy seemed to weigh down on his chest.

He wasn’t going to sleep any time soon.

Steve sighed heavily and slipped out of bed. He looked at the digital clock at his bedside and saw it was twenty minutes before dawn. He might as well get ready for the new day.

He took a long shower to clean off all the excess sweat and as he stepped out of the bathroom, he noted the beauty of the golden sunrise.

Steve was staying in Tony’s guest room, right down the hall from where Tony slept, so he tread lightly as he left the bedroom. On the third day Steve was staying with him, Tony had offered him an entire floor to live but Steve frantically turned him down and he’d been staying in Tony’s guest room ever since. Steve smiled to himself as he remembered Tony’s generosity and his melancholy faded slightly.

Steve quietly moved around the kitchen as he prepared breakfast. He turned on the coffee machine and patiently waited for Tony’s emergence. As Steve cracked open the second egg for his omelet, Tony dragged his feet into the kitchen.

The older man made a beeline straight for the coffee without so much as a good morning.

Halfway through his mug, Tony hummed happily and Steve asked, “Are we human yet?”

“Somewhat,” Tony murmured and Steve chuckled. Tony took another drink and then observed, “Isn’t breakfast earlier than usual? We’re not going to be productive today, are we?”

Steve turned off the burner and divided the scrambled eggs onto two plates. He avoided Tony’s observation and answered his second question, “I hope we are going to be productive today. You have a deadline on that reactor, don’t you?”

“The reactor isn’t being ‘productive’ per say…it’s more of a fun activity,” Tony retorted.

Steve laughed and announced, “He’s awake!”

He placed the plate of eggs and a fork in front of Tony and sat down at the counter with his own. Tony sarcastically said, “Har har har, you’re lucky I have coffee right now.”

“Love ya, too, buddy,” Steve teased and Tony smiled warmly at him.

They bantered the rest of breakfast until Tony slipped away to start on his “funtime.” Steve cleaned the dishes in the sink, ignoring the dishwasher, and then noted there was some grease on the stove so he took the grills off the burners and started to clean them too.

“Welcome, Ms. Potts,” Jarvis announced and Steve spun around with a sponge in hand.

Ms. Potts entered the room and jolted to a stop when she saw him. She stared blankly at him. Without Jarvis’s greeting, Steve would have still recognized her as being the woman Tony was always talking about. Steve awkwardly waved his sponge and said, “Hello.”

“Who are you?” She asked her eyes shooting from Steve’s face to the sponge in his hand. Her brows knotted in confusion as she tried to place him.

“Uh…Steve?” He offered but he was not sure if he should give his real last name or the fake one Tony made for him. Had Tony mentioned him to her? If not, were they going to keep it a secret from her?

“…Are you a guest of Tony’s?”

“Yes,” Steve said and returned the sponge to the sink. He dried off his hands on a nearby towel.

Her eyes were drawn to the sink and she murmured, “Did you do the dishes?”

“Yeah, Tony and I had breakfast.”

“Tony…ate…willingly…”

Steve chuckled and replied, “Yes, we had breakfast.”

“He ate breakfast…” She glanced at the clock. Steve knew it to be sometime around 8 o’clock and she clarified, “He ate breakfast in the _morning_??”

“Yes, we usually eat breakfast in the mornings,” Steve chuckled. When he’d first moved in, Tony was such a sourpuss about eating so “early” but he'd gotten used to Steve’s eating habits and started to join him with no fuss.

Ms. Potts’ expression became more perplexed and she garbled, “When…How… _Oh, my God_ , are you the ‘intricate matters’ Tony said he was working on? It all makes so much sense… And…You’ve been here all this time? For the last couple of weeks?”

“Yes,” Steve replied answering her last question more than her first. It’d been a few weeks since he first came. He did not know what the “intricate matters” she was speaking of were however…

More to herself, Ms. Potts gasped, “He…He’s never been with someone so long.”

Ms. Potts eyes searched Steve’s face and Steve could not but help feel sad for Tony. Was that true? Was he really unable to connect to people and make friends? He was such a good guy…

Ms. Potts sighed and asked, “Jarvis, does the confidentiality contract apply for both genders?”

“Yes, Ms. Potts.”

“Good, print out a copy on the office printer.”

“Contract…?” Steve murmured in confusion. Ms. Potts hurried over to the counter and began rummaging in her suitcase.

“You must understand, Mr. Stark has a reputation but he also requires a level or privacy and…” She paused, as if looking for the best way to phrase it, and stated, “I don’t think the world is ready yet to hear that Tony Stark swings both ways. You understand, right?”

The idiom flew over Steve’s head and he looked at the woman questionably. Ms. Potts noticed and she stated, “It can’t get out that he’s gay…or I guess the more appropriate term would be bisexual…Either way, our investors will flip.”

Once again, Steve did not understand what she meant. Why wouldn’t she want Tony to be gay? If he is a happy person that would be a good thing wouldn’t it? And what was a bisexual? Did he hear her correctly?

“Gay?” Steve repeated the one word he knew he heard correctly.

“PEPPER!” Tony bound into the room. Tony probably just reached the basement when Jarvis informed him of Ms. Potts’ arrival. He must turned right around and came straight back. Tony exclaimed, “ _I’m not gay_! It is not like that!!”

Ms. Potts rounded on Tony and hissed, “Then what is this? Is it some kind of experiment??”

Tony covered his ears and groaned, “Please stop, Pep! It’s not like that! He’s my friend and nothing more!”

It finally dawned on Steve what Ms. Potts had assumed and blood rushed to his face in embarrassment. He gasped, “I-I’m no flint! Neither of us are!”

“…Flint?” Pepper reiterated with an air of confusion.

Tony sighed and scratched the back of his head. He said, “Okay, with that outdated terminology, Pepper, this is Steve, Steve Rogers. And before you ask, yes, _the_ actual Steve Rogers. As in Captain America, my platonic, back-from-the-dead friend who is in no way in a romantic relationship with me. Steve this is Pepper, a person I actually was once in a romantic relationship with because for my entire life I’ve dated women and only women so I don’t know why one of those said women would immediately assume I’m banging some dude... Oh, and if you call her Ms. Potts, like Jarvis does, she will poke out your eye.” Tony grinned cheekily at Pepper but the woman was staring at Steve with a critical eye. She still did not believe Tony’s explanation. Tony sighed and asked Steve, “Can we show her the shield? I don’t think she’ll believe me until she sees it.”

Steve smirked and murmured, “Alright, I’ll be right back.”

Steve jogged to his bedroom and as soon as he left the room he overheard Pepper begin to question Tony in harsh whispers.

As he went to his room, he went over the conversation he had with Pepper in his mind again and flushed at the memory. Why would she think he and Tony were an item? And why was she so accepting of it? She wanted him to sign a contract to be quiet so it was clearly still a bad thing.

He shook his head to knock the thoughts out of his mind. It was clearly a misunderstanding and now it was all cleared up. There was no need to keep thinking on it.

He entered the room and his eyes were drawn to his sketchbook. He quickly went to it first and drew out the page he had sketched of Howard. The image of a young Howard Stark would hopefully provide further evidence.

His shield was right where he left it, leaning against the wall beside his bed. He picked it up and unconsciously slipped it onto his arm as he jogged back.

Pepper had been hissing something to Tony when he reentered the room but she was struck silent when she saw the shield.

“…It can’t be possible,” she whispered, awestruck.

Steve handed her the sketch and she stared at it with wide eyes. Steve stated, “Tony’s father was younger than I was when I knew him.”

“Pep, take a seat and drink some coffee. We’ve got quite the story to tell you,” Tony stated as he clapped her shoulder. He smiled at Steve with his eyes dancing and Steve could not help but return the smile.

Tony guided Pepper to the counter and sat her down. He went over to the coffee machine and started a new pot for Pepper. Steve took his usual space at the counter and began his tale.

Pepper listened attentively and, when she finally was handed a mug of coffee, she drank it deeply.

“So you were with that homeless man who was arrested on the 4th?”

Steve winced as he thought of Solo. Tony got him a good defense but he was still going to get jail time. Steve wished there was something more he could do for his wayward friend. He nodded to Pepper’s question and said, “That was how Tony and I initially met.”

“I nearly peed my pants when I realized I was facing off against _the_ Captain America,” Tony added.

Steve and Pepper shared a chuckle and then exchanged a knowing smile at Tony’s expense. At that moment, he knew he and Pepper were going to get along fine.

“Sir, Agent Coulson of SHIELD is on the line. He wishes to see you.”

The smiles melted off both of their faces and they regarded Steve with horror.

“Tell him I’m not here.”

“Sir, I’m afraid he’s insisting.”

“And I’m still not here,” Tony murmured with a roll of his eyes.

“Sir, the elevator – I’m afraid my protocols are being overwritten.”

Steve heard the click of the elevator doors opening and Tony bound into him and shoved Steve backward. He hurriedly backed up until Tony pushed him into the open closet and closed the door. Steve stumbled back into the coats and clutched his shield close to his chest as he righted his balance.

\---

“We have control for the next 30 seconds,” tech support grunted as if overriding Jarvis was a physical exertion.

Coulson smiled and said, “It’s all I need.”

He stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the penthouse. The elevator moved quickly and Coulson quietly counted the seconds as they passed it took ten seconds to reach the top, giving him twenty seconds to spare. Plenty of time.

He stepped out of the elevator and immediately pinpointed the sound of Stark and Potts whispering urgently to each other in the other room. His eyes quickly ran over the penthouse, looking for changes since he was last there. All the ceiling lights were installed and working now, a couch sat where particle board was once stacked, and there was a large pair of sneakers sitting by the elevator doors.

Coulson’s attention focused on the shoes. They weren’t Stark’s. Stark would never wear them nonetheless fit in them.

Someone else was there.

Coulson refocused all his senses to pick this person out and walked into the other room, following the sound of Stark’s whining.

Stark focused a glare on him as soon as he saw him and, in way of greeting, he mumbled, “Agent.”

Coulson smiled thinly at him and replied, “Mr. Stark.”

“Hello Phil,” Ms. Potts sighed with exacerbation.

“Phil? His first name is ‘Agent,’” Stark haughtily corrected her.

“Forgive him, he’s only on his third cup of coffee,” Ms. Potts stated sarcastically.

“To what do we owe this honor?” Stark asked mockingly.

Coulson’s eyes spanned the room looking for more clues. He garnered the most from the couple. Potts and Stark were tense and they traded uneasy glances when they thought he wasn’t looking.

Huh. Interesting.

Coulson looked pointedly to both of them and each avoided his gaze.

They were hiding something.

Coulson needed to answer Stark’s inquiry so, as he started to slowly circle the room, he replied, “You’ve been quiet, Stark. You’re making Fury worried.”

Stark snorted and murmured, “I doubt Eye Patch is worried…Does, uh…Does he have my notes?”

“Notes?” Potts murmured in question.

“Good old Dad left some valuable notes with SHIELD.”

Her eyes widened and she gasped, “Project Rebirth?”

Coulson reached the counter where Ms. Potts sat and looked down at the visual menagerie of paperwork laid out before him. As usual, it was mostly schematics of the tower and forms that needed Stark’s signature.

He almost missed the sketch hidden behind the height of Potts’ briefcase. Coulson’s heart flipped as he recognized the pencil strokes and the combined forces of shock and jealousy warred inside him.

“…Is this one of the Captain’s?” Coulson asked passively, lightly pulling the sketch closer with the tip of his finger. He kept his expression mildly interested to hide his true reaction to seeing one of Cap's originals.

“…Yes…I found it…mixed in with my dad’s old notes,” Stark supplied slowly.

“You should take better care of it,” Coulson admonished and looked suspiciously between the two. Stark’s voice was not very forthcoming. He continued, waving to the sketch, “This is a piece of history. It should be preserved not sitting out on a kitchen counter where it can easily be destroyed.”

“Yes…Yes, of course,” Stark replied, agreeing with him too readily. He quickly crossed the room and picked up the sketch. Coulson frowned at the action. He wanted to look at it longer. He’d never seen a sketch of Howard alone before. Stark rolled up the image and asked, “Is there something you need me to consult on? Or do you have those notes for me?”

“Submit another request,” Coulson monotoned.

Stark sighed and said, “Well then…tell Fury I’ve simply been ‘quiet’ because I am busy. The Tower’s reactor is going to connect to the grid in a few months and, since I am an anal perfectionist, I want it to go off without a hitch.”

“Then who else is here?”

Potts and Stark both looked like he just dropped cold water on them.

Coulson nodded down the hall and stated, “The running shoes down the hall…They’re not yours.”

“They belong to Tony’s new flavor of the week,” Potts stated and Stark instantly flushed.

“…You two are no longer together?” Coulson questioned, surprised by the new development. He was supposed to know of all the significant changes in the man’s life. He was going to have words with Natasha.

“Not since the palladium poisoning,” Potts replied. She smiled sadly at Tony and said, “I couldn’t handle the stress of being in a relationship with Iron Man…”

“And I couldn’t give up the suit…It’s a part of me now,” Tony added, making Potts’ smile twitch.

“Hence the ‘boy toy’ – who should be waking up soon,” Potts murmured pointedly.

Taking the hint, Coulson replied, “Then I should be going. You probably do not want to explain my presence. Submit your forms again, Stark.”

“Sir, yes, sir!” Stark replied smartly.

Coulson repressed the need to roll his eyes. Instead, he sparred one last glance to the sketch rolled in Stark’s hands. Another piece of the Captain so close but too far from his grasp again…

Coulson nodded his head in goodbye and left, coming within inches to the sealed closet door as he passed it.

\---

Steve exited the closet as Tony announced, “My boy toy is out of the closet!”

Steve flushed at the name and said, “Don’t call me that.”

Tony grinned and replied, “Pepper came up with it, not me!”

“I was just trying to get rid of him before he noticed we were lying or he noticed where Steve was hiding…He saw the sketch though…”

“I think my lie was plausible enough,” Tony replied, placing the sketch back on the counter. It unfurled as he rounded the counter to return to his cup of coffee.

“So he works for SHIELD, huh? He seems to know what he’s doing,” Steve stated with a shiver. He'd stopped breathing when heard this Coulson found his sketch. They were lucky he didn’t happen to look into the closet. Tony had told him all about SHIELD after Natasha’s visit and he wasn’t too eager to meet them just yet.

Tony stated, “Coulson didn’t notice anything – he just saw your shoes. It’s not going to create this grand conspiracy that Captain America’s hiding out at my place. _Hell_ – he doesn’t even know you’re alive. For all he knows, you’re still lost and dead in that plane.”

“Steve, if you don’t mind me asking, did you really crash the plane? There are theorists who say the government said you did it to make you out to be a martyr. Some think the plane simply crashed on its own.”

Steve sat in the chair next to Pepper to explain and they dropped the SHIELD subject as Pepper demanded more information on Steve’s history.

Eventually, Pepper left and Tony returned to his work on the reactor. Steve curled up with his tablet on the couch and stared at the blank screen as he contemplated what to do.

Finally, he typed the word “gay” into the search bar. As he typed, it popped up with suggested searches, the top being “gay marriage.” Steve’s eyebrows rose and he selected that option.

Shock was not a strong enough reaction Steve would describe to what he learned.

In his era, these kind of people were reviled but now…it was a norm. They were passing laws so they could get married. Steve did not know what to think. In his era, he’d never paid attention to the flints downtown. He never really had an opinion about them…his world was Brooklyn, work, his friends, and standing up to bullies.

Ultimately, he just chalked it up to being another oddity of the future and closed his search on gay marriages. He opened the art app on the tablet and the last picture he had been sketching automatically opened. It was of Tony bent over his suit, making minute repairs. Steve stared at the image, taking in Tony’s muscle tone, and then flushed.

He opened a new board and pretended his mind did not wander in… _that_ direction.

He did not have to worry on it long for his mind grew blissfully blank as he began to sketch out the lines to his new piece.

\---

Coulson was on his phone as soon as he was out of range of Jarvis’s sensors.

He immediately contacted Romanov and she picked up on the first ring. She probably had eyes on him ever since he exited the building.

“Yes, sir?”

“Why am I just hearing about Stark and Potts no longer being in a relationship and that Stark is now sleeping with a man we have no information on?”

“…Sleeping with a man?” She clarified, her shock was so great that her voice revealed her surprise.

“Yes, agent, a man. Potts and Stark wouldn’t let me see him but they clarified Stark was in a relationship with a man,” Coulson pressed. “You really knew nothing about this?”

“I can honestly say, no. I always thought of Stark as a ladies’ man.”

“I need you to get me information on this man pronto.”

“Yes, sir.”

Coulson hung up with a scowl. Stark had to create this nightmare right as his alpha team moved into the city to search for Cap. He rubbed his forehead and the thought pacified him slightly. They’ll find Cap soon.

\---

Clint was the next one Coulson called and he was not too happy about having to omit the truth to his boss…especially when he had evidence he was going to have to hand him that clearly showed where Rogers was.

After his short talk with Coulson, Clint immediately called Natasha and she guessed, “Coulson?”

“I have to tell him, Nat. I tried to delay my guys on my end but they’ve picked up on Cap’s trail. We found footage from the 4th. Jarvis was able to scramble all the cameras that had Wi-Fi uplinks but there were a few older cameras without them that captured Stark with Rogers.”

Natasha sighed and said, “I won’t have you jeopardize your position in the organization. You’ve done beyond what my favor should have cost…We gave him time…hopefully it will be enough. Do your job, Clint. Consider the favor paid.”

“Coulson will know within the hour,” Clint stated tersely.

“I’ll keep you updated on their location.”

“Thank you,” Clint said and hung up. He frowned at the phone as he felt guilty for what he had to do. He swallowed it and called back Coulson.

\---

Tony had worried over Coulson’s presence for a good hour before he worried over more pressing matters…like his empty coffee cup.

“J, get a fresh pot brewing for me in the kitchen,” Tony asked. He could have used the coffee machine in the lab but he wanted to see how Steve was doing.

He strolled back into the living room and found the super soldier napping on the couch with his tablet precariously balanced on his chest. Tony smirked at the sight. Cap looked ten years younger as he slept. Tony strolled over and plucked the tablet off his chest before it met a bad fall.

He paused when he noticed the furrow between Steve’s eyebrows.

Was he awake? Tony whispered, “Steve?”

With Steve’s next exhale, he let out a pained noise.

Now Tony’s brows furrowed and he shook Steve away. Steve woke with a hiss and wildly looked around him but relaxed as soon as his eyes focused on Tony.

“You alright, Cap?”

“I—Yes, yes…sorry, bad dream,” Steve whispered a little breathlessly.

Tony nodded and backed off though he still regarded Steve warily and did not take his eyes off him as he rounded the counter to the coffee. Steve sat up with a heavy sigh and rubbed his face. He rubbed particularly at his eyes…

“Steve, you sure—?”

The Tower went dark and Tony’s words died in his mouth.

“J, what happened to my tower?” Tony demanded. Outside, the neighboring skyscrapers seemed to functioning fine.

When Jarvis did not reply, Tony dropped his coffee.

Steve head snapped up sharply when the mug cracked on the floor.

“Get your shield now!” Tony exclaimed and he ran to the closet where he had a panel with an emergency suit.

Steve immediately moved into action, his shield sat on the other side of the couch. He didn’t put it back into his room after Pepper left.

Tony was able to press his hands onto the panel as several somethings crashed through his windows and exploded, filling the room with smoke.

He didn’t see if Steve got to his shield. Every moment used could count for life or death so he opened the panel and his systems took over. He’d made the panel in case of an attack like this one and it was on a separate energy system and not connected to Jarvis so it still worked.

The suit was pressed onto him quickly and he would have bruises later but Tony made it do just that because the threat was real and he needed to be in his suit _now_.

“J?? Are you connected??”

“Yes, sir. Outside forces destroyed the firewall but I am currently fighting them back. I am unable to access the Tower at this time.”

“Who is it?” Tony demanded but he already knew the answer.

“SHIELD, sir.”

“THIS IS SHIELD! WE HAVE WARRANTS TO BE HERE! STAND DOWN OR YOU WILL BE SHOT!” Somebody exclaimed behind him.

Tony faced the room. Dozens of dark shadows were entering the room through the broken windows. Tony yelled back, “THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY! I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SHOOT ANYONE WHO TRESPASSES OR THREATENS TO SHOOT ME!”

He raised his hands, his repulsors whining with a charge as he did.

The smoke began to clear and he saw the majority of the agents were standing around Steve. Steve had his shield up and was looking to Tony. Several agents held tranquilizer guns, containing something most likely to knock Steve out.

Tony’s stomach lurched at the sight and he remembered his friend vocalizing his fear of being experimented on.

He didn’t care if these people worked for the U.S. government. If they wanted Steve, they were going to have to step over his dead body before he let them any closer to him.

“Stand down, Stark. This is all legal. We have a warrant for you and the Captain’s detainment,” Fury stated as he strolled into the room. He was followed by a mass of more agents. Tony pointed his repulsors at Fury and Fury’s lackeys all pointed their guns at Tony.

“No!” Steve hissed fiercely as the weapons were pointed at Tony. He took a step toward Tony and half the guns swung in Steve’s direction.

Tony could easily imagine a number of things Fury could arrest him for and he always thought the man was waiting for a day when he was in an especially foul mood to tack it all on Tony to make him sit in jail for a day before Tony’s lawyers managed to get him out. But to arrest Steve??

“What is he under arrest for??”

“Dereliction of duty,” Fury stated.

“B-But I was frozen since the plane crashed!” Steve gasped. “ _I couldn’t fight!_ ”

“But you did not check in with the army as soon as you woke. Instead, you came here and neglected your duties. You are still a Captain in the U.S. Army, Rogers, and you are currently AWOL.”

“This is _bullshit_ and you know it!” Tony yelled, “He doesn’t want to fight for you! Leave him alone! He’s done and lost enough already!”

Fury leveled his one eye at Tony and stated, “We can’t do that.”

“ _The fuck you can_!” Tony retorted and fired at Fury.

Fury dodged the blast from his repulsor and whipped out a large gun out of his trench coat and just as quickly shot Tony. The EMP he fired at Tony hit him in the gut and the Iron Man suit collapsed like a sack of potatoes.

It short circuited everything in his suit and the suit was too heavy for him to move physically. This was his emergency suit he was supposed to only use with home invasions. He expected to need to defend against firepower like Stane’s Iron Man replica or Vanko’s energy whips. He never thought anyone would be able to calibrate an EMP powerful enough that could take out his suit and not destroy his reactor and kill him.

He was trapped until the suit miraculously came online again or someone release the safety valve inside his neck.

Fury stalked up to him and growled, “You stupid, hothead.”

\---

Tony fell and did not get back up.

Steve felt like his entire being crumbled with him.

“ _TONY_?!” Steve screamed and pushed through the agents without a second thought. Many were flung aside but some were able to shoot him with their syringes. His body went numb and he stumbled the last few feet to Tony and collapsed beside him.

Fat tears were blurring his vision.

He couldn’t lose another friend, not like this, not in front of him again. He gasped aloud, “ _Please, God, no_.”

Steve reached out to Tony from where he fell but the man would not move. They killed him. They actually killed him.

He felt one of them try to pick him up but he shook the person off and threw the agent across the room. He leveled his glare at the others and snarled, “Get off of me! I’ll kill you! I’ll—!”

More tranquilizers were shot into him and Steve collapsed. He fell facing Tony and he squeezed his eyes closed so he would not have to look at the unmoving figure.

Why did God hate him so? Why did He take away everyone he loved? _Why_?

Darkness of unconsciousness beckoned him and Steve went willingly into its embrace.

\---

Fury rubbed at his one good eye as the chaos settled. This had not gone according to plan.

Fury was a man of information. He needed to know everything in order to properly do his job. It was for the good of his country and the world at large that he is kept informed. So when he was told a consultant, known to be hostile and belligerent, was knowingly hiding a super soldier from him, it made Fury suspicious.

Stark had been harassing SHIELD for weeks for documentation on Project Rebirth. Fury had just assumed Stark was using it to annoy him but now he could not help but wonder if he had ulterior motives.

As soon as they got word the Captain was with Stark, Fury knew he had to detain both men for questioning now he had one unconscious and another had just shot at him.

Fury strolled over to where Stark lay and bent down. He stared impassively at the expressionless, flat face shield. Fury reached down under the suit’s chin and found the release for the mask. As soon as the face plate rose, Stark snarled, “YOU are so sued and I’m going to make sure you lose your job and are arrested for home invasion, assault, and –.”

“Stark, I was well within my rights to do all of that. I came in here with two warrants: one for the Captain and one for you.”

“What—?” Stark hissed.

Fury shook his head and said, “You were going to be brought in for questioning for suspected terrorism.”

Stark stared up at him blankly, the shock evident on his face.

Fury stated, “What else was SHIELD to assume when you kept hacking into our systems, kept the world’s only perfected super soldier a secret, and had wanted more information on Project Rebirth. Were you going to create more, Stark?”

“No!” Stark hissed, “Steve was confused, scared, and lonely and I offered him a place to stay and a new identity as he figured things out!”

Fury narrowed his eye as he listed to the explanation. It sounded valid with the exception of one thing: “And your wanting the research on Project Rebirth? How do you explain that?”

Stark rolled his eyes and sarcastically grunted, “Intellectual curiosity?” With a glare leveled at him, Stark rephrased, “I just wanted to know about the shield! Steve’s shield had been made from a huge amount of Vibranium and I was wondering if my father had somehow made a formula! That was all until Steve came into the picture!” Stark saw the disbelief in Fury’s expression so he added, “Just ask Coulson! I told him all of this too!”

Fury looked over to his shoulder to his senior agent. Coulson stood by the Captain and had been silently directing the others to remove the tranquilizers and then was going to move him out. Coulson had been listening in and met Fury’s gaze. He nodded once but it was all the Director needed.

Fury turned back to Stark and said, “Alright, I won’t arrest you for being a suspected terrorist.”

“You could have just asked me all of this instead of barging in here and attacking us!” Stark practically yelled.

Fury replied, “And if you had been a terrorist? If I had given you a courtesy call, who knows what you would have done? We could not even covertly look in on you because Jarvis would have known in seconds. Besides, we did not attack first, Stark. You fired the first shot.”

Stark ground his teeth and Fury continued, “We came in here like this to take you by surprise. We did not know what was happening on the inside and we had no idea of your motives nor did we know of the Captain’s mental capacities after being frozen in the ice for so long. We could not take any chances.”

Behind him, the Captain was put onto a stretcher and they wheeled him out. Fury got to his feet and stated, “Had you not attacked us. Both of you would have been detained for questioning. We could have examined the Captain’s mind and determined his mental state this being AWOL was only our excuse to legally get a hold of him. We have to make sure he is not a danger toward the public.”

His agents cleared out of the room until only Stark and Fury remained.

“Will you let him go free once you are satisfied he is mentally stable?” Stark demanded.

Fury leveled his eyes at Stark and studied his expression. The man was truly worried for the Captain. Coulson had written in his reports that there was the possibility that Stark was sleeping with a man. Had these two really grown so close in the short amount of time they had been together?

To test their bond, Fury remained silent.

Stark read between the lines and his anger returned with unrestricted ferocity. Stark’s body was still bond by the weight of his suit but he screamed with all of his might, “HE’S A HUMAN BEING! He does not deserved to be locked away just because he’s a little different! I swear if you hurt him I will drag down your organization down until even its foundation is dust!”

Fury nodded to himself. The two men were together. An interesting development and beneficial knowledge as well.

To placate the man, Fury stated, “Captain Rogers will not have his rights violated. The results of his psyche eval will determine what will be done with him…You’ve done some damn stupid things before Stark but, in regards to Captain Rogers you’ve been especially stupid. Did you plan to keep him locked away in your tower forever? And how did you think attacking me would have been constructive??”

“I was just trying to help my friend,” Stark hissed.

“SHIELD will help him now. You’ve done enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Stevie... first I give him nightmares of losing a friend and then this...  
> Whatever mean things can I do to him next? >:3
> 
> Next Time, Ch. 6: Nightmares aren't the Only Thing that can Steal your Breath Away


	6. Nightmares aren't the only Thing that can Steal your Breath Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I am back!! Sorry for the delay! Life has been supercalifragilisticexpialidociously busy! And it will remain so for the rest of this month! So the next chapter will probably take just as long to come out! 
> 
> Additionally, I added more to chapter 5 (the prior chapter) a couple of days after I posted it so check it out! It's the very end of the chapter and I added more to the exchange between Tony and Fury.  
> It's about 1,000 more words with some valuable info!

“HE WAS DOING FINE WITH ME!” Tony yelled, after Fury but the man ignored Tony’s exclamation and disappeared. In his wake, Tony let out a string of curses that would have made Steve flush.

Alone and trapped in his suit, Tony could do nothing but wait.

Laying there in the silence was the worst part. It was another reminder that Steve was not there. Tony hadn’t realized it but, with Steve living with him, there was always some kind of noise in the background. Whether it the super soldier laughing loudly at the local TV program or the barely audible sound of his pencil scratching the paper of his sketchbook, Tony could always tell Steve was there. But now knowing that he was not, made the time passing by immeasurable and it dragged out torturously.

When Jarvis finally reconnected to the Tower, Tony nearly cried. When his AI informed him Pepper was almost there, Tony let out a noise that could arguably be similar to a sob though he’d never admit it.

Jarvis was fully operational again by the time Pepper got there. Tony had worked himself into a frothy rage as he anticipated what he was going to do SHIELD once he was free.

“I’m going to be a super villain from now on!” Tony growled as soon as Pepper appeared from the elevator. As she hit the security latch on the back of neck, and as Tony sat up, he hissed, “My first mission as a villain will be to take SHIELD down.”

Pepper sighed heavily and said, “Jarvis told me everything and the first thing I did was call Phil but he did not pick up.”

Tony pushed himself up and his muscles all screamed at the action after being in one position so long but he ignored the pain in favor of action.

“J, get the Mark 50 ready.”

“You are not seriously going to attack SHIELD??” Pepper gasped.

“Steve thought they killed me, and they drugged him, with who knows what, to knock him out and kidnapped him!! They could be doing God only knows what they’re doing to him! I am not leaving him with SHIELD!”

“There are other ways to fight this Tony!” Pepper hissed.

“Like what?? Put in a request?? It can take weeks and they can just deny it like they’ve been doing for my requests for my father’s work! No, the direct approach will work best!” Tony retorted and turned to the elevator to get his suit.

Pepper grabbed his shoulder and agreed, “Yes, the direct approach will work best but let’s do my approach. It’s safer, legal, and will get Steve back here and safe more likely than your plan!”

Tony turned to her and said, “You have my attention. What is it?”

\---

Coulson dreamed up dozens of scenarios when he finally met his hero…but none of them turned out like this.

Peering through the one-way glass, Coulson stared at the legend himself and felt afraid. The Captain’s eyes were red, his face desolate, and he was awake but unresponsive. For the last hour, the psychiatrist had been trying to get him to talk to her with no results. The Captain’s gaze remained fixed on a point on the table and he did not acknowledge her.

Coulson bit down on the inside of his cheek and rocked the flesh between his teeth nervously. If this continued the psychiatrist would deem him mentally unsound and they will have to detain him.

“He thinks Stark is dead and does not believe us when we tell him otherwise,” the psychiatrist informed him. They both paused and watched the Captain through one-way glass. Captain Rogers sat at an interrogation table, staring blankly at the table’s shiny metal surface.

He knew now that those running shoes he had seen were the Captain’s. Captain Rogers had been in the same building as Coulson – maybe just in the other room, when Coulson was there…He could not believe he missed it. But, most importantly…

Were the Captain and Stark really in a relationship?

It certainly explained Captain Roger’s reaction…The man must have thought Fury killed him when he shot Stark with the EMP and his “loss” destroyed Captain Rogers. From the historical reports, it looked like he and Agent Carter were a couple. Could they be wrong? Or, perhaps, Carter was just his beard?

Either way, the Captain thought he had lost someone close to him. Was the reason he was unresponsive?

“Hopefully, I can convince him otherwise,” Coulson whispered and walked past the doctor and opened the door to the interrogation room.

The Captain did not acknowledge his presence when he entered the cold room and Coulson did not let the hurt show. In a few seconds, the thousands of happy scenarios he imagined wilted away and all that was left was the stark reality. This was going to not be a joyous meeting.

Coulson represented SHIELD and the Captain probably was not pleased with SHIELD at the moment. But, it did not matter how Captain Rogers perceived him. His hero was broken and Coulson will help him heal. Affirming his mental status was only second to that. Coulson whispered, “Hello, Captain Rogers. I am Agent Coulson.”

That got a response and Coulson’s heart flipped as the Captain looked up and peered at him. Rogers monotonously observed, “You were the one who came to the Tower.”

Coulson sat opposite Captain Rogers, on the hard, metal chair, and said, “Yes, that was me. I’ve been looking for you for a long time.”

Captain Rogers dropped his head and asked, “At what cost?”

“We did not kill Stark, Captain. He’s more valuable to us alive than dead, no matter how annoying he gets,” Coulson assured him.

“I _saw_ him go down!” The Captain hissed his disbelief and buried his face in his hands. He painfully asked, “I screamed his name and he did not move.”

Coulson wanted to reach out and pat his shoulder but he knew the action would be unwanted. Coulson sighed and stated, “Captain, I swear to you, I will bring you proof that Stark is alive as soon as I can...”

The Captain lifted his gaze and Coulson was struck by how young the man looked. The Captain may have been born decades before Coulson had been born, but in body and mind, Rogers was a decade younger. His glassy, blue eyes only added to his youthful appearance.

“What do you want with me?” The Captain asked, his voice still harsh from emotion.

“We brought you here for a myriad of reasons but, mainly, we want to make sure you are alright,” Coulson replied.

Captain Rogers scoffed and said, “All you had to do was ask, you didn’t need to hurt him…”

“What we wanted cannot be measured by a simple question,” Coulson stated.

“What is it?” Rogers demanded.

“We need to know being frozen for over 70 years didn’t impair you. We need to know you are mentally stable and won’t go on a killing spree when someone makes you angry.” In the back of his mind, images from the calamity of Harlem flash through his mind and he repressed a shudder. If the Captain turned out to be as volatile as the Hulk…a cold shiver ran down his back at the thought.

Captain Rogers’ eyes widened with understanding and he whispered, “What do I need to do?”

“Speak with our psychiatrist, let us draw some blood, and get a full workup on you,” Coulson said, the Captain’s reply was encouraging. The Captain nodded and Coulson jumped to his feet and before he could change his mind, stated, “Alright, we’ll bring in the psychiatrist right now.”

“…Coulson, is that all you really wanted of me?” The Captain asked with a weary expression. He had been sitting at the table ever since he got there but he looked tired and sad.

Coulson paused, the paperwork in his hands suddenly feeling heavier and he wondered at the secrets he held and the hundreds more Fury kept from him. No, the work up was not all they wanted from the Captain. Any fool would be able to guess they wanted more. He was the world’s only perfect super soldier and they were the strongest defense organization. Of course they wanted him to work for them.

Coulson considered his options and slowly replied, “…We also want you for our Avengers program.”

“Avengers program?”

“An initiative made to protect the Earth in the greatest hour of its need using a collaboration of its mightiest heroes…We-we want you to lead them,” Coulson stated.

“And if I refuse?”

Coulson winced and said, “…It is your choice but, the Earth needs you, Captain.”

The Captain did not reply so Coulson reaffirmed, “I will go now. The psychiatrist will be with you momentarily.

Captain Rogers buried his face into his hands and he whispered to himself, “I don’t want to be here…I died in World War II. I shouldn’t be here.”

Coulson wasn’t sure if the Captain meant for him to hear it but his heart went out to his hero either way. Coulson couldn’t imagine what the young man was going through. He looked over his hunched form for another few seconds and then slipped out of the room.

The psychiatrist slipped past him and Coulson closed the door. As soon as the door sealed behind him, Coulson sighed heavily. Yes, he definitely saw the first meeting with the Captain turning out _vastly_ different than that little exchange. He didn’t get to exchange a handshake but, worse, the Captain was so morose that he could even smile.

He wasn’t too surprised to read the initial report from the psychiatrist an hour later, to see that the Captain was suffering from a number of mental ailments, the foremost being depression. It was up for review by the higher ups to determine the Captain’s release and Coulson prayed they’d let the man go. With Stark, he’d most likely been happy. Denying him Stark would only make things much worse.

“Sir!” Barton knocked on his door loudly and then barged in before Coulson could invite him. The archer ran over to his desk, holding out his phone and gasping, “You’ve got to see this! _Stark just laid out all of our cards_!”

\---

“You all know me, know who I am. I’ve spoken you to numerous occasions on the street or right here at the podium. One of my most famous press releases was done right here when I told the world I was Iron Man…For a long time, I have been called a ‘superhero’ and I gladly took the title and all that it entails. But I never saw myself as one of the greats, like Captain America. That man stood for truth, justice, and the American way…and he’s the reason why I called all of you here today.

“History tells us, Captain Rogers died for his country in the line of duty in 1945, a few months before the end of the war. But I am here to tell you differently.” Tony paused as a murmur rumbled through the room. He cleared his throat and silence fell. He continued, “On Independence Day of this year, I met the man himself.”

This drew the reporters to their feet and they yelled questions at him but Tony remained silent until they returned to their seats.

Tony continued, even as people continued to whisper to one another. “The Captain had just woken recently and dug himself out of his grave. He’s no zombie but…his serum saved him. He looks no older than the day he crashed the plane.”

The projector behind Tony turned on and the canvas behind him became aglow with Steve’s picture. It must have been taken by one of Jarvis’s cameras. Steve sat at a counter with a coffee mug in hand and was smiling happily.

A flurry of clicks were made by the reporters’ cameras and Tony continued, “He came to me to help him start a new life. His upmost fear was that he would be spirited away and experimented on. Sadly, his fears became true and this morning he was forcibly removed from my home by a government agency by the name of SHIELD.

“I now turn to you, the public, be Captain Rogers’ heroes. Help Steve. Voice your outrage. Let’s bring our Captain home.”

Steve smiled sweetly at the tablet as the video ended.

“Stark lives and, as always, he is complicating our lives,” Coulson sighed heavily as he pulled the tablet back towards himself.

“Are you going to let me go?” Steve asked, feeling lighter than he ever had. Tony was alive, he no longer had to hide, and SHIELD could not keep him much longer now that the world knew he was here.

“Yes, but you are going to need a SHIELD liaison to monitor you and make sure you are no danger to the public and, we want you to know, the offer is still on the table. The initiative is waiting.”

Steve nodded and got to his feet. He stated, “I think I’ll settle for just getting a ride home right now.” He held his hand out to the shorter man and said, “You kept your word, thank you for showing this to me.”

Coulson slowly slipped his hand into Steve’s and they shook hands.

Coulson’s usually passive demeanor slipped and he grinned widely as he replied, “It’s no problem, Cap.”

\---

“You’re going to have to go through a little fanfare before you can get home,” Natasha informed him as he sat down across from her. They were in a limo. Steve had never been in one before so he inspected the lavish interior with a curious eye.

“Fanfare?” Steve asked as finished his inspection.

“Reporters, screaming fans, etc. The public is going to want a glimpse of their long-lost Captain,” she replied. Natasha was to be his SHIELD liaison and keep an eye on him but her cover was that of his public relations assistant. She was currently on her phone answering e-mails ranging from senators to the local news stations.

As soon as his door closed behind him, the limo’s engine rumbled to life and the vehicle began to drive. The driver’s screen was up so it was just him and Natasha.

“How much longer until I can see Tony?” Steve asked. The last he saw him, he thought he was dead. He desperately wanted to affirm with his own eyes this was not the case.

Natasha tilted her head to the side and asked, “Is it true? Are you two together?”

Steve flushed and murmured, “Why does everyone think that?”

“So you’re not together?”

“…Not romantically...I mean he’s my friend,” Steve stated.

“Not friends with benefits?” She clarified.

“Friends with what?” Steve asked, his brows knitting together.

“Benefits,” Natasha grinned. “As in no romantic attachments but all the good sex you can get.”

Steve felt all the blood in his body rush to his face and he exclaimed, “NO!” Natasha muffled a chuckle and Steve gasped, “Why would you think that??”

“It’s just the way you two are around each other. I can’t explain it but, even though I spent only a few minutes with you two, I felt a connection between you two that was deeper than friendship.”

Steve leaned back into the cushioned, leather seat and murmured, “We’re just really good friends…” Steve paused then said, “He’s my best friend…I know it sounds ridiculous, we’ve only known each other a few weeks but…I haven’t felt this closeness since-since Bucky.”

Natasha’s expression became solemn and she whispered, “I understand. I have the same relationship with my partner in SHIELD and everyone seems to think there’s something between us too.”

Steve smiled gratefully at the agent and they changed the subject to the public relations nightmare Steve was going to have to face.

They took him to the Tower as it was his home and he desperately wanted to see Tony but it was there the public was waiting for him. There was a stage set up and everything. Steve was supposed to go up there and introduce himself to the world.

They parked behind the stage and had yet to be noted by anyone. Steve looked outside the tinted windows and thought back fondly on the fake name Tony had created for him. He could have lived out a quiet life, gone to art school, and sketched for the rest of his days.

“Cap,” Natasha nodded to his shield and said, “Don’t forget your extension.”

Steve smirked and all thoughts on his other life vanished. Even if he had used the fake name, he wouldn’t have been able to live a quiet life, his shield was proof enough. Steve grasped his defensive weapon and slipped it on to his arm. It was a part of him and without it he felt helpless.

“Just pretend it’s one of those USO shows,” Natasha said.

“At least I could hide behind a mask in those,” Steve said. SHIELD gave him a change of clothes to look more presentable but it wasn’t his old, gaudy uniform (thank God) but a nice, two piece suit. Steve had already removed the tie as it felt too tight around his throat and left it on his seat in the limo. Steve inhaled deeply and turned to Natasha to ask, “Wish me luck?”

“You don’t need it. They still love you and they’re excited you’re back, Cap,” Natasha promised. Steve smiled in thanks and stepped out.

Natasha was right behind him and she quickly drew him to the stage.

They’d already gone over what to expect but Steve was still blown away by the response to his appearance on stage. People screamed and cheered and when he meekly waved they only grew louder. They quieted only once he started to speak. He briefly explained how he came to New York (SHIELD was going to release a more detailed statement later that day) and thanked the city for its exuberance. He didn’t take any questions from reporters but as he left the stage they tried to get a comment. Because all of them were yelling at once, he could not understand any of them and was unable to answer.

Natasha led him back into the Tower and Steve frowned when he did not see Tony.

As if reading his mind, Natasha said, “Pepper has him barricaded in his apartment. She didn’t want him to run on to the stage in the middle of the speech and say something stupid about SHIELD. He isn’t too happy with our organization at the moment.”

“I wonder why?” Steve asked sarcastically. He too wasn’t too fond of SHIELD at the moment either.

They went into the elevator and Jarvis said, “Welcome back, Master Rogers, sir has been worried about you.”

“Thanks, Jarvis, and the feelings’ mutual,” Steve replied.

“You two need to kiss already,” Natasha murmured and Steve laughed at the teasing joke.

The doors opened to reveal Tony, and all other thoughts he had disappeared when he saw his friend. They both moved together and met each other half way in an embrace.

“Are you okay??” They both asked at the same time. They chuckled and separated, both smiling widely.

“I’m fine, but what about you?” Steve implored. “The last I saw you, you were shot and were not moving.”

“I was just hit by an EMP, it fried my suit but didn’t hurt me. I couldn’t move because the suit was too heavy.”

Steve relaxed at Tony’s words. He wasn’t hurt. Everything was going to be okay.

“I think I’ll make my exit now then,” Pepper said and nodded to Natasha and said, “It’s good to see you again.”

“I’ll join you,” Natasha said as Pepper reached her side. Pepper paused as Natasha turned to Steve and said, “I’ll call you in the morning. You’ll probably have to go on half a dozen talk shows and be interviewed for just as many magazines and newspapers.”

“Okay,” Steve replied, his eyes only staying on Natasha for a moment as his gaze was drawn back to Tony’s smiling face. He didn’t notice Natasha’s eyes studying the spot where Steve’s hand rested on Tony’s shoulder.

She smiled and to Pepper said, “Let’s go and leave the lovebirds to it.”

“I’m never going to hear the end of it am I?” Steve called after the retreating forms of the women with an aspirated laugh.

“Nope!” Natasha replied and the doors sealed behind them, leaving Steve alone with Tony.

\---

“…They are both blind to it,” Pepper groaned, leaning against the elevator wall.

Natasha smiled at the other redhead and murmured, “They’ll get it sooner or later.”

\---

Tony celebrated Steve’s return with a mini festivity and brought out all of Steve’s favorite foods. They talked and laughed all night long. Neither strayed too far from the other’s side and they were almost always in contact as if both of them were afraid to lose the other again. They watched Steve’s favorite movies until they both passed out on the couch, late into the night.

Hours later, Tony suddenly woke with a jolt, not knowing why.

It was dark, Jarvis had turned off the TV when both of them fell asleep. Tony sleepily glanced around but he couldn’t guess as to why he woke. The light from his arc reactor gave off enough light to illuminate the room dimly but nothing seemed remiss.

Steve continued to sleep with his feet propped up with the recliner portion of the couch and a blanket wrapped around him. Tony pushed himself out of his own blanket and guessed something outside had probably woken him. The city never slept. It was very plausible something outside made a noise loud enough to wake him.

But, as he stretched his hands over his head, he heard it.

It was a whine akin to a scared dog.

His head snapped over to Steve.

Before Tony merely glanced at him but now he really looked at him. Steve’s face was scrunched as if he were in pain and he was sweating profusely.

“…Steve?”

His friend did not reply and Tony cautiously slid closer to him. He must have been having a nightmare and Tony felt uneasy about invading Steve’s personal space in such a personal moment.

Closer, Tony could see Steve’s entire body was tense and his hands were strangling the blanket with a white knuckle grip.

Tony lightly touched Steve’s shoulder and whispered gently to wake him, “Steve?”

Steve woke with a sharp hiss and gasped, “ _No_ -!”

Steve’s wild eyes frantically searched the dark room before they settled on Tony. His fear broke down into a shattered relief.

Steve dropped his face into his hand and gasped in a broken voice, “ _Thank God_.”

“You okay?” Tony asked.

“Yeah, just…I’ve been having the s-same nightmare all week and it just got ten-times worse.” Steve laughed wetly and Tony stiffened as he realized his friend was crying.

Tony froze not knowing what to do.

“Mind…if I ask what it’s about? May..Maybe I can help?”

Steve took in a deep, shuddering breath and he replied, “B-Bucky…Mostly I’ve been dreaming about Bucky’s death.”

Tony’s heart went out to him. Bucky had been Cap’s right-hand man and had been like a brother to Steve. He had died not long before Steve supposedly had. To Steve, the death was still recent.

Tony wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulder and Steve continued, “B-But just now I dreamed about you, about today, and-and you had died, really died and it was so much worse – Bucky died because of me and I couldn’t live with myself if you had died because of me too!”

Tony wrapped both his arms around Steve and whispered, “None of this was your fault! _And I’m here, Steve_. There’s nothing to feel guilty about!”

Still raw from his nightmare, Steve broke down and sobbed into his shoulder. Tony tucked Steve’s head into the crook of his neck and lightly pet his head with soothing whispers. Steve nuzzled his face into Tony’s flesh and kept whispering, “I’m sorry – _I’m_ _so_ _sorry_ —.”

“It’s alright,” Tony murmured. “Don’t apologize. Life hasn’t been kind to you and it’s alright to cry. Let it out, Steve.”

Tony rubbed his back to try to comfort him and even pressed a kiss into his forehead like his mother used to when he cried as a child.

The affection drew Steve’s gaze up and he looked up at Tony with big, wet, sad eyes. It broke his heart. He didn’t want to see Steve like this. He wanted to see the man who stumbled into his life with a big smile on his face and wonder in his eyes.

When Tony later reflected on it, he’d swear he was only meaning to comfort Steve. What was going through his mind at the time, Tony could not tell. All he knew was Steve was upset and he wanted to do _anything_ to make him feel better.

Tony pulled Steve deeper into his face and pressed another kiss into Steve’s forehead. Steve relaxed into his hold so he continued to pepper his face with kisses. All were meant to comfort and nothing more.

Until he kissed the corner of Steve’s lips.

Tony’s mouth was instantly drawn to Steve’s and he kissed him fully, cupping his jaw as he did. Steve inhaled sharply and Tony’s tongue automatically darted out for a quick taste.

Steve twitched and Tony’s eyes snapped open.

They scrambled to separate and both stared at each other with equal measures of bewilderment.

To escape Steve’s shocked gaze, Tony dropped his head and buried his face into the couch by Steve’s shoulder. He felt blood rushing to his face as he murmured, “…Sorry.”

Steve wordlessly lay his arm across Tony's shoulders and, surprisingly, kept him in his embrace. The move was Steve nonverbally telling Tony he was forgiven and Tony sighed in relief.

Steve must have been equally shocked as Tony and was stunned silent. His breathing continued to hitch but he was calming down. Tony’s kiss was probably as good as a slap to the face…

Tony stayed in his friend’s hold. He took comfort from it but, mostly, he stayed in it because he was too dazed to move.

Why did he do that?

Tony had affairs, one-night-stands, and was an ambitious womanizer.

But he’d never kissed anyone without meaning to, he’d never pursued romantic entanglements with friends without thinking on it for a long time, and he’d certainly never done this with a man.

Even with all of these thoughts tumbling through his mind, there he was, still in Steve’s arms, and feeling…comfortable.

How…When did he want this? Tony inhaled deeply through his nose and his friend’s scent filled his nostrils. He smelled good. Everything about Steve was so good…too good for Tony.

Tony awkwardly pulled away from Steve. Steve’s arms shot away from him. Steve rubbed the wetness out of his eyes and avoided Tony’s gaze.

Silence stretched between them and was made more awkward by their unlocked gazes.

Instead of addressing the giant white elephant in the room, Tony asked, “Was this the first time you’ve cried? The first time you mourned him?”

Steve’s eyes flickered up and met his and he hoarsely replied, “No…well, yes. I never cried like that before…”

Tony lightly grasped his forearm and said, “I went through this too…It’s okay – It’s good even. It’s healthy. It’s a part of the healing process.”

Steve nodded and gently drew his arm out of Tony’s grasp.

With a blank face, Tony stared at the spot on Steve’s arm he had just been touching a moment ago as his brain slowly processed Steve’s rejection.

He did not want Tony to touch him. He was uncomfortable.

With that thought, Tony’s heart felt like someone had stabbed it and twisted the blade in his chest.

Tony _wanted_ Steve.

Tony was falling for his friend and he didn’t even realize it…but Steve couldn’t look at him or abide his touch.

Tony bit down on his lip and murmured, “We should probably go to bed.”

He fled before Steve could reply and locked himself into his bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehehe
> 
> Next time, Ch. 7: Hello, Awkward. My name is Denial.


	7. Hello Awkward, my Name is Denial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm bacckkkkk :D
> 
> Sorry for the delay, my internship is nearing its end and they're trying to suck me dry before its end! I'll be done with it by mid December and will have soooo much time to write fics!!!! XD

Tony did not sleep, instead, he fretted about their kiss, questioned his sexuality, and worried over his friendship with Steve.

The traitorous sun eventually rose and he knew he was going to have to face the day. When he smelt the coffee, he knew Steve was up.

Tony nervously ran his hands through his hair and then ventured out of his room…

Tony paused when he saw Steve. It was almost like a normal morning. Steve was cooking at the stove like always.

“Uh…Mornin’,” Tony announced his presence. His heart was racing with his increased adrenaline like his body expected to be attacked by something akin to a rabid dog at any moment.

Steve twitched at the stove and Tony could almost see Steve’s indecision coming off him in waves. Eventually, Steve looked over his shoulder and smiled at Tony.

“Good morning, Tony.”

He looked back to the pancakes he was making and Tony stared at his back at a loss. This was too…normal.

He remained standing in his spot, waiting for Steve to tell him off or start the awkward conversation about wanting to be just friends. Tony was practically vibrating from the tension.

He wasn’t ready for this. He didn’t even know there was a “this” to worry about until last night! And how concerned about “this” should he be? Did he just want to be friends with Steve too? He didn’t know if he could answer these questions yet! It was too soon!

“Tony…”

Tony flinched. This was it.

Thousands of scenarios flooded his mind and he was already coming up with half a dozen sarcastic replies that would make it seem he was unaffected.

Without turning towards him, Steve asked, “Aren’t you going to get some coffee?”

Tony blinked and then processed his words. He cleared his throat and then said, “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’ll do that.”

Tony crossed the room and entered the kitchen. He worriedly kept an eye on Steve as he went to the coffee pot. He poured out a mug for himself and then scurried over to the other side of the counter to get a barrier between himself and his…friend?

“I made blueberry pancakes,” Steve stated as he stacked the said materials on two plates.

“Sounds good,” Tony replied and then took another long drink as he struggled to figure out what was going through Steve’s head.

Steve smiled diminutively at him when he turned from the stove and crossed the kitchen to place a plate down in front of him. He then rounded the counter, sat beside Tony, and began to eat from his own plate.

Despite his uneasy stomach, Tony also took a few bites but darkly wondered about the situation.

"Natasha is coming by with a schedule of events for me," Steve said, still acting like nothing was wrong...

That's what he was doing.

Steve was pretending it never happened.

Tony released a deep sigh and nearly face-planted into the pancakes. Okay, he can do that too. He'd rather pretend the kiss never happened than lose his friendship with Steve.

Tony picked up his fork with renewed vigor and asked, "Really? Already? Are you going to be kissing babies too?"

Tony nearly smacked himself. Had he had a bite of pancakes in his mouth he probably would have choked. Why did his first complete sentence to Steve have to mention _kissing_????

Steve rolled his eyes and murmured, "I hope not...I did plenty of that during the War and don’t want to repeat that in this century."

Tony calmed down and smiled at Steve. He teased, “This is a national travesty! Who will kiss our babies now?!”

“How about you do it, Shellhead,” Steve retorted and Tony threw back his head to laugh.

“How long have you been waiting to call me that?”

“All week,” Steve replied with a smirk and Tony laughed louder.

Tony was glad to be able to banter with Steve again and glad they can still share in their friendship.

...But in the recesses of his soul, his heart cried out at the unfairness of it all.

\---

Natasha took one look at the two of them and resisted the urge to smack them both over the head.

Something happened. Something that they had been dancing around for weeks but, whatever it was, they had leapt away and now were warily circling each other.

"Ready to work, loverboy?" Natasha asked Steve. Instead of blushing like he had yesterday, Steve paled.

"Please don't call me that," he whispered, glancing guilty at Stark.

Yes, that confirmed it. He laughed at the loverboy reference yesterday. Something definitely happened.

Natasha shook her head and pushed a bunch of documents into Steve’s hands. She stated, “First things first. We need to bring you back to life legally.”

She sat Steve down at the counter and had him start to sign the first of many dotted lines. They worked quietly and Tony hovered in the background. The billionaire kept staring at Steve as if he was waiting for him to spontaneously combust.

Natasha glanced at Steve and saw the man was purposely staring straight down at the paper to avoid having to look at Stark.

Alright, Stark was clearly the one who made the first move. No surprise there.

Natasha leaned back and asked Stark, “Don’t you have a reactor to work on?”

Stark frowned at her and reluctantly said, “Yes.”

Natasha made little shooing motions with her hands and said, “Get to work. Your pacing is distracting.”

Stark frowned and Natasha could easily read that he did not want to go. She gave him a look that she had mastered when she was his PA for a short while. It said “listen to me or you will regret it.”

Tony pouted but he announced, “I’ll put a few hours in at the reactor. Holler if you need me.”

“We’ll call you when it’s lunchtime,” Natasha replied. Stark nodded curtly and spared Steve one last, longing glance before leaving.

Steve visibly relaxed and looked miserable all at once but continued to sign all the dotted lines she had marked off for him.

Natasha studied him and wondered at the best way to approach this. Steve was from an era where such a thing he and Stark wanted was disallowed. He was probably trying to smother the feelings the cropped up and trying to feel disgusted toward it.

“How’ve you been since yesterday?” Natasha decided to try from the indirect approach.

Steve tensed then relaxed and, without looking up, replied, “Fine.”

“You are a terrible liar,” Natasha retorted.

Steve paused and stared blankly at the pen in his hand. Eventually, he carefully stated, “It’s something I do not want to talk about.”

Natasha sighed heavily and her heart went out to Stark. She read the personal accounts of the Howling Commandos and they attested for the Captain’s stubbornness when he set his mind to it. Poor Stark bad a fight ahead of him.

She will back down…for now.

\---

Steve bumped into Tony on the way out of his bedroom and almost knocked him over. He caught his friend before he fell to the floor and held him so close that Tony’s heart beat against Steve’s where their chests touched.

Despite the layers of clothing between them, he felt both of their pulses pick up. Both of them noticed at the same time and tensed but Steve did not relinquish his hold on the smaller man.

They stared at each other in the amount of time it took for both of them to inhale a few quick breaths. It look that long for Steve’s hold on Tony to bypass normal.

“Steve?” Tony whispered, questioning why Steve hadn’t let him go.

Steve stared at Tony as his friend’s singular utterance of his name echoed in his mind. Why didn’t he let go?

...He didn’t want to.

Why lie anymore?

Steve separated the distance between him and Tony and pressed his lips to—.

 

Steve woke with a _hiss_ and violently shook out his limbs as he scrambled to push away the dream phantom of Tony. Gasping for breath, he wildly looked around his dark bedroom but saw no sign of his friend. It hadn’t been real. It had all been a dream. Steve let out a sigh of relief and his head fell back and lightly struck the headboard.

His reactions to these recent dreams always created more dramatic responses than that of his nightmares. He was loathe to admit it but his heart was racing, his cock was throbbing, and his arms felt irrevocably empty.

It all had been a figment of his imagination.

Yet, the dream left the shadow of an impression of Tony’s lips against his.

Steve clutched his face with a moan. Why did he keep dreaming of _this_?

It had been weeks since...the incident and Steve had thrown himself into his new life in the meantime and had barely seen his friend.

He took every offer for an interview for magazines, talk shows, and newspapers. He spoke at schools and toured museums. He soon was even accepting missions and created a friendship with his SHIELD liaisons, Natasha and Phil.

He continued to live at the Tower but…he did not see Tony as much. The man was his best friend and Steve was eternally grateful he was in his life but…

But Steve wanted things he shouldn’t.

The dream was fading from his mind but he reflected on the desire he’d felt and flushed. Why does he keep dreaming this? It wasn’t right…He and Tony were friends, nothing more…

The memory of Tony pressing kiss flashed through his mind and Steve buried his face into his hands.

“Overly emotional moment,” he reminded himself. “It didn’t mean anything.”

Tony hadn’t done or said anything since. It was further proof that it meant nothing…Not that Steve wanted it to mean something. He had never been attracted to men before, not even Bucky and Bucky was one of the most handsome guys he knew.

Steve kicked the sheets off him and went over to the bathroom.

His traitorous body interpreted the events of his dream differently and he was painfully hard from the short sequence. Steve stripped and slipped into a cold shower.

He leaned heavily into the tile with one hand and with his other hand he cupped himself and began to rub. He closed his eyes and thought of Peggy: young and laid out in his bed.

“Who are you?” The current, older Peggy whispered into his ear from his memory.

Steve’s hand stopped and he cursed under his breath.

He stopped touching himself and his head fell forward in defeat. He hadn’t been able to touch himself ever since his reunion with Peggy. It felt wrong. She was no longer the girl he was falling for…she had lived a lifetime without him and even imagining her young left a bad taste in his mouth because he knew it was nothing more than a fantasy.

Once again, the feel of Tony’s lips against his flashed through his mind and he felt a strange combination of lust and dismay.

It had happened. The incident was no dream. Why it did, he could not say, but Tony had kissed him.

And Steve almost kissed him back.

He closed his eyes and thought back to that night, the heat of Tony’s touch, the weight of his body against his, and the soft press of his lips. Steve bit down on his lips as his cock throbbed for attention whilst he reminisced.

Steve reached down and tentatively touched himself. Closing his eyes, he imagined Tony had done more than kiss him. He imagined it was not his hand rubbing himself but Tony’s hand and arousal vibrated through him in a powerful shudder as his hand copied what he imagined.

Steve’s hand shot away from himself and he gasped aloud, “ _What am I doing_??”

Steve was not a flint or gay or whatever that other term Pepper used. _He was not attracted to men_. He was not attracted to Tony. The kiss merely…confused him.

Once he found another girl, someone as great and beautiful as Peggy, the feelings would go away.

Resolved in the matter, Steve closed his eyes to construct a dream girl to help him out in his current predicament. Steve began to stroke himself as he created her. She’d have Peggy’s body, her dark hair, but not her face, she’d have a quirky mouth, always grinning, and her eyes would be lighter –hazel—and encircled by dark, lush eyelashes. Steve imagined his dream girl closing those beautiful eyes, her lashes fanning her cheeks, and Steve kissed those soft lips –.

_As soft as Tony’s._

Steve moaned in frustration and his dream girl lost her feminine figure and morphed into Tony. The man retained the woman’s dark hair, mouth, and hazel eyes…but his face wore the same shocked expression he wore after they kissed.

Steve shamefully opened his eyes and fell into the tiled wall at his side.

His cock continued to throb, aching for release.

He was never going to do anything with Tony but…maybe if he imagined it, it would go away. Maybe that was the problem? Maybe he just needed to get it flushed out of his system.

In the back of his mind, his more rational side was calling his bluff but his cock to precedent in his mind at the moment so he did not hear it.

Still leaning into the wall, Steve closed his eyes and began to stroke himself as he imagined himself with Tony. This time Steve returned the kiss in the latent memory and Tony pressed his body into Steve’s. They opened their mouths to each other and Tony’s hand found its way into Steve’s pants.

Steve groaned, the sound shuddered deep within his throat and he pumped faster, imagining Tony frantically kissing him and desperately wanting to stroke Steve’s sex and make Steve come for him. Tony's hand would've been smaller but Steve had no problem imaging his hands as Tony’s. He pictured Tony’s face growing flush and he wondered what noises he would be making as he touched Steve and Steve touched him in return.

Steve remembered Tony moaning after taking a bite of a sinfully good burger and the memory of noise tipped Steve over the edge.

He came with a sharp gasp and it was powerful enough to make him waiver on his feet.

The shower washed his come away and Steve watched its progression into the drain with a deepening blush.

He did not want to admit it but…it felt amazing.

With his dick no longer ruling his mind, Steve’s rational side surfaced immediately and Steve clutched his face with a groan.

Why did he do that? How was he going to meet Tony’s eyes now?

He was not attracted to Tony. Tony was a man.

 _‘I think your argument about being attracted to him just went down the drain with your come,’_ his rational side stated.

Steve groaned louder and his blush deepened.

He shouldn’t be attracted to Tony. Tony was not just his friend…he was a man. Men being with men was…wrong.

The pleasant feeling from his ejaculation continued to linger and Steve’s confliction grew. How could something wrong feel so good?

\---

Tony was used to smothering his feelings and pretending nothing hurt. Growing up with an emotionally distant father and always being in the limelight did that to people.

It was easy to do with Steve because he was such an amazing person that Tony always felt at ease in his presence. With Steve, things went back to normal and their friendship stayed as strong as ever.

He told himself it was for the better because he couldn’t give Steve what he needed. Steve was straight, but, most importantly, he was the kind of man who needed a strong, stable relationship. Tony's relationships were usually short or were merely fuck buddies.

However, being alone with his mind was a problem…a brooding problem.

He solved it by listening to his music at full blast so all he could hear was the compositions and not his whiney thoughts.

It made it a little harder for people to get his attention.

“TONY?!?!!!!!”

Jarvis lowered the volume and Tony stepped up and peered over the outer shell of his tower’s reactor. Pepper stood below him with her arms crossed over her chest and an angry frown marring her face.

“What’s up, Pep?”

“You have been ignoring my phone calls,” she retorted.

“No, I noticed them but I choose to answer you,” Tony replied cheekily and ducked back down just because he knew it would piss her off.

“ _TONY_!”

Tony cupped his mouth to muffle his laughter and poked his head up again. Pepper was fuming and Tony innocently asked, “What?”

“You texted me, saying you needed to change the date to hook up the reactor to the city grid. How long of a delay are we going to have?”

“No delays,” Tony replied. “I’ll be done by next week. Can we get approval from the city for an early connection?”

“Oh! Yes!” Pepper gasped, “You’re done already?”

“Steve’s been busy and it’s depressing being upstairs all alone,” Tony replied with a shrug. The apartment felt too empty without his friend’s presence. Pepper visibly looked upset by his statement and Tony retorted, “Hey! Don’t look like that! I’m getting stuff done!”

“Natasha has been sharing Steve’s schedule with me. I can recommend he get a few days off next week.”

Tony flushed when his chested swell with excitement at the idea. He tried to play it cool and shrugged. He stated, “You don’t have to.”

Pepper smiled, seeing through his act and said, “I’ll call her right now.”

\---

“It’s actually perfect timing,” Natasha replied. “He needs to cut back on everything. Taking a week to celebrate is just what he needs.”

“And maybe if they spend some time together they’ll realize how much they care for each other,” Pepper murmured with exacerbation.

Natasha smirked and said, “True. If I hear Steve sigh heavily one more time I might have to punch him.”

Pepper laughed and they exchanged a few more words followed by quick goodbyes.

Natasha quickly called all the people Steve had schedules with and made excuses for the super soldier and promises of rescheduling. She was going to have nothing to do next week and she felt a little cheated.

Clint got a priority assignment over her because she was busy with Steve.

It didn’t bother her too much however.

The Tesseract unnerved her anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUN
> 
> Next time, Chapter 8: A Fickle Thing called L…Lunacy, yes, Lunacy sounds right


	8. A Fickle Thing called L…Lunacy, yes, Lunacy sounds right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays! Hiatus is done!!!  
> Lot's of emotional ups and downs and this chapter is longer than usual so I hope you enjoy it! :D

Under the frigid water, Tony did last minute calibrations to the underwater pipe that would house the final electrical connection to his tower and then covered them with a plate of metal. He narrowed the beam to his palm repulsor and sealed away the precious materials.

Steve teased him as Tony took his time with the settings. It was all in good fun and Tony snickered along with him. Tony could perceive the excitement in Steve's voice and it made him happy to hear. Tony knew Steve was just as thrilled as Tony was about finally getting the reactor running.

Ever since he shut down the weapons' sector in Stark Industries, this reactor had been his dream and now it was _finally_ becoming a reality. To add to Tony's delight, Natasha had surprised Steve with time off for an entire week. It was turning into one of the most exciting weeks of his life.

They hadn’t spent uninterrupted time with each other in such a long time that they were cautious at first but they quickly fell back into their old routines and it was almost like their evasions had never happened. The last couple of days had been filled with laughter, loud debates over the results of various card and board games, and horrible comebacks (Tony mostly, not that he’d admit it).

“It’s movie night, I hope your reactor can handle the ‘epic laser battle’ we’re going to be watching in the next Star Wars episode,” Steve jokingly badgered as Tony finished off the pipe with one last concentrated blast from his repulsor.

Tony mock gasped and said, “Steve! I’m hurt! I thought you trusted my technical prowess!”

As Tony started to rise to the surface, Steve replied, “All I know is that I need to know what happens with Luke and I will be sorely disappointed if I don’t know by tonight!”

"Alright, alright, I'm coming!" Tony sighed overdramatically.

He broke free from the murky water and flew back to the tower. His eyes were immediately drawn to the building. It glowed like a beacon in the cluster of opaquely lighted skyscrapers that made up Manhattan. He circled it slowly, taking in her energy-saving splendor.

“She’s beautiful, Steve,” Tony whispered with awe.

“And you made her,” Steve replied proudly, no longer teasing, and Tony's chest puffed up under the praise.

Tony grinned, his cheeks were starting to hurt from all the smiling he had been doing. He pointed himself to the balcony and landed. His suit was removed as he walked inside.

Tony entered the room with an air of flair, smirking cockily and raising his arms up in triumph. From across the room, Steve laughed and he was smiling just as happily as Tony was, making Tony’s heart do a ridiculous flip in his chest.

He'd never felt _so_ happy before _and_ what made it all the better was that Steve felt the same! He didn’t think it was possible but his smile grew larger.

Tony glanced around the room and realized Pepper was gone.

As if reading his mind, Steve explained, "Pep suddenly remembered she had some kind of CEO thing to take care of." He shyly held up two tall flutes filled with peach colored champagne and he said, "She left us something to celebrate with though."

Tony grinned and, by the coloring, knew she had left them his favorite. He crossed the room and gently removed the delicate glass from Steve's grip.

Steve held up his glass and said, "Here's to a new future."

Tony raised his flute and added, "To cleaner energy and a better city."

"A better home," Steve agreed and swallowed the toast. Tony followed a moment later and drank the bubbly drink all in one go. Steve also drank all of his and Tony smiled warmly at Steve when he finished.

A better home indeed and it wasn’t because of the reactor that powered it now. Ever since Steve moved in, Tony's life was just...better. When Steve was gone, Tony never before felt so lonely but, upon his reappearance, he felt at peace.

_Steve was a part of his home now._

Steve returned the smile, impervious to Tony's thoughts.

“That is delicious,” Steve commented.

"Another glass?” Tony asked.

Steve nodded and Tony reached out for his flute.

He grasped the neck of the glass in Steve's clasp and his fingers rested right on the edge of Steve's fingers by mistake. He paused in his surprise as his fingertips tingled under Steve’s warmth. The pause extended long past social norms as Tony stared dumbly at their connected fingers.

The last couple of days they had been in close contact: bumping shoulders during a movie, grasping each other's arms or shoulders to grab attention, or their fingers grazing in touch for moments to pass a game piece or obscure item.

But he never touched Steve in any way that may be considered too intimate...even though it was all he had been dreaming about ever since that slip of a kiss they shared weeks prior.

He pulled the flute out of Steve’s grasp, lightly caressing his fingers as he did. Steve's eyes darkened a shade and Tony hurriedly turned around so Steve would not see his blush.

Tony internally groaned – that look in his eyes – Steve was pissed. Tony fucked up. He shouldn’t have done that! Why did he do that?! The last few days had been going so good! Tony was hiding his attraction well!

As Tony privately flushed to himself for his mistake, he silently berated himself for the move. He went over to where Steve had left the champagne bottle and made himself busy as he slowly refilled the flutes.

Maybe if Tony took his time, Steve would think the gesture was nothing and they could go back to pretending. Tony wouldn’t even chance a glance at Steve's magnificent ass the rest of the night.

Tony had to get it into his head that Steve was not interested. Tony needed to find himself a Victoria Secret model and take out all his sexual frustrations out in a couple of casual hookups…then again, maybe he needed a Calvin Klein model. Tony’s flush deepened as he instantly imagined Steve wearing nothing but Calvin Klein’s signature, tight and white briefs.

Tony rubbed his mouth to muffle a _highly_ inappropriate noise.

Steve stepped behind him and placed a hand on Tony's hip.

Tony’s heart jolted up and threatened to break free from his chest as his brain acknowledged Steve's touch.

This wasn’t an “ _I need your attention_ ” touch. Steve’s fingertips dug low onto his hip bone and his thumb pressed deeply into the flesh of lower back. Tony had felt this touch before from numerous past lovers.

No. This wasn’t an “ _I need your attention_ ” touch. It was an " _I need **you**_ " touch.

Steve stepped close to Tony and the heat from his body warmed his back.

Tony spun around and Steve kept his hand on him, resting intimately on his waist. Tony stared at Steve with his mouth agape in shock.

Steve's eyes were conflicted and his brows were pinched together as if he were in pain.

“I…I-I,” Steve stuttered fearfully.

Indecision was warring within the super soldier.

With a racing heart, Tony leaned in and cautiously placed a hand on Steve’s chest. Steve’s heart was beating just as frantically beneath his touch. Was this really happening? Could Steve be interested in him? He whispered hopefully, "St-Steve?"

Tony stuttered too but he couldn't help it. He was so scared and excited that this was happening.

Steve flushed and his gaze dropped and, for a moment, Tony thought Steve was going to push away. Tony desperately whispered, "Don't pull away."

With hooded eyes, Steve's gaze rose and returned to Tony's eyes. He leaned down and Tony's heart started beating at an accelerated pace. This couldn’t be real. Tony had to be dreaming... _and he did not care._

Tony pressed himself into Steve’s hard chest and closed his eyes as he tilted his head upward with excited trepidation. He was going to kiss him. Steve was interested. Tony’s feelings were not one-sided!

Steve grasped his shoulders and the tip of his nose lightly brushed Tony’s.

“Steve,” Tony sighed and cupped the back of the taller man’s neck.

Steve suddenly wrenched himself away from Tony and any clue or semblance that he was going to kiss him, came from the brush of hot breath wafting over Tony's lips and the cooling of the front of his body where Steve had been pressed against him.

Tony opened his eyes and saw several feet now separated him and Steve.

Shock speared itself through Tony and he stared blankly at Steve.

Steve stared at Tony with an equally shocked expression.

Tony's mouth dumbly but silently flapped open and close as he searched for the words to say but he could barely grasp what just happened. How was he supposed to respond to it?

"Sir, Agent Coulson is here and would like a word with you," Jarvis announced. The AI's voice seemed louder than usual even though it was at its normal volume.

Tony glanced up to one of Jarvis’s cameras and then back to Steve.

Their eyes locked and they could not look away from each other. Tony did not know how long they looked at each other. He was so shocked he could not think nonetheless keep track of the time passing.

Why did Steve do that?

"...Did-Did I interrupt something?" Coulson asked as he slowly strolled to a stop into the room. The damn agent must have hacked his elevator again. It was his voice that broke the silence between him and Steve.

"No!" Steve gasped, finally breaking his eyes from Tony to look at Coulson.

Tony narrowed his eyes and glared at both of them. Steve’s assertion broke him out of his shock and emotions instantly tightened his chest.

That was _not_ nothing.

"Yes," Tony corrected him as he looked pointedly at Steve. "Yes, you did."

Steve continued to avoid looking at him but Tony refused to look away. Tony silently vowed to never ignore what was happening between them.

Steve was going to kiss him and there was no way in hell Tony was going to pretend it didn’t happen. Not again. Why would Steve pretend like nothing was happening between them??

"I have briefings for both of you. There is a situation that may warrant the Avengers' call to action. That will include use of your consultation, Stark."

Both Tony and Steve looked to Coulson and their relationship problems were instantly put on the backburner.

Avengers meant a world threat.

Tony repeated with a gasp, "Situation?"

"For the initiative?" Steve added.

Coulson nodded and held out matching tablets for them to look over.

\---

They were quick to change into their articles and join Coulson.

Coulson told them they were going to an undisclosed location to meet up with Fury. He took them to a transport jet and they left within the minute of boarding. Coulson sat at the front of the jet with the pilot, leaving Steve and Tony alone.

The jet was made for transporting large vehicles and military personal. Leaving Steve and Tony alone in its large hull.

Steve tried to look anywhere but at Tony.

An hour ago, he tried to kiss his friend. _KISS_!?

His stomach was a jumble of nerves and he berated himself for doing something so stupid. Prior to the incident, Steve had been _so_ thrilled. Tony’s dreams were coming true and he had the happiest smile on his face when he came back to the Tower. Steve could not help but share in that joy…and, it seems, he lowered his inhibitions as well…

As soon as the jet leveled off, Tony stepped into his personal space and Steve scrambled back. With a hard expression, Tony moved with him until Steve hit the wall of the plane and he could go no further.

Steve’s heart leapt into his throat and he could barely breathe.

“We need to talk,” Tony stated.

Steve winced and said, “I know…”

“I kissed you a few weeks ago and you tried to kiss me less than an hour ago.”

Guilt and sadness twisted inside him and Steve sighed, “Yes…”

“I want to kiss you again,” Tony stated and fear raced through Steve. He stared incredulously at Tony and slowly shook his head.

Steve whispered, “It was a mistake.”

“No,” Tony gasped, the single word sounded like it tore its way out of Tony’s throat and Steve winced again. Tony grabbed his arm and whispered fiercely, “It was you and me. It was _us_ and we are good – we would be good together. _We obviously both want each other!_ ”

Grasping for an explanation, Steve tried to reason, “I-I’m not attracted to men.”

Tony’s brows bunched together and he sighed, “Steve, you are…this is because…because of those laws, back then right? Before the big freeze? They’re not around anymore. You don’t have to worry-.” Tony reached for Steve’s hand but Steve knocked his hand back. He hit a little too hard and winced when he heard the metal of his suit crack from the impact.

Tony grabbed his hand and clutched it to his chest. He stared at Steve as if he sprouted two heads. But the worst part was seeing the change in his eyes. Steve had grown used to the warmth and trust in his gaze. Chaotic hurt  replaced it.

Steve hands twitched toward him want to hold him and apologize. He stopped himself but felt torn between who he wanted to be and…what he assumed wanted.

“That!” Tony point an accusatory finger at him. “This is what I’m talking about! You are an open book to me, Steve! I can see you’re indecisive! What is wrong??”

Steve guiltily looked down and whispered, “I’m not attracted to men.”

“You know that’s not true,” Tony hissed.

“It’s nothing,” Steve hissed in return.

Tony frowned deeply, surged forward, and grabbed Steve’s face. Tony pulled them together and they shared a second kiss.

Steve froze and, for a brief moment, he relaxed and held Tony close and tenderly grasped Tony’s arm. This was nothing like the brush of lips from their first kiss. Tony's mouth was hot, wet, pressed hard against Steve's, and he sucked lightly at his lips. Tony's mouth made Steve's toes curl in a way that Peggy's kisses never did.

The moment passed in seconds and Steve hurriedly pushed Tony away from him.

Tony stumbled back a few feet and instantly shuffled back into his personal space but he made no attempt to kiss Steve again. Steve pressed himself into the rounded wall of the plane to get any type of distance between them.

Conflict warred within Steve.

All he wanted to do was pull Tony back into his arms but it was just… _wrong_. Tony was his friend and…that was it. He wasn’t a flint. He wasn’t gay. He was not attracted to men. He had been attracted to women his entire life. He could not be attracted to Tony now. Everything he was and had been feeling was a fluke. Their first kiss was obviously brought about from the stress of his nightmare and from the stressful events from earlier that day…

But then why did Steve have these feelings? Why did he try to kiss him earlier?

Steve reflected back on the moment. Steve had been thinking about how happy he was and he saw the same joy in Tony’s eyes. It just happened after that. He had no explanation for it. His body moved on its own and he almost gave into his hidden, immoral longings.

Steve rubbed the back of his hand across his lips to get the tingling feeling of Tony off him and angled his body away from Tony.

“You are attracted to me,” Tony hissed. “And it is _not_ nothing! It–.”

“Drop this,” Steve retorted harshly. Why couldn’t Tony leave this alone?

“No!” Tony gasped, “Why are you trying to deny this??”

“You-You’re asking me to change myself! You’re asking me to destroy another aspect of me from my era! _I wanted to be with Peggy – with a woman!_ I-I don’t...I don't even know _who I am_ anymore!”

“Don’t be ridiculous! You’re still you! And I thought I only liked women but I clearly am ok with the change!” Tony rubbed his forehead and took a calming breath before he stated, “Steve…this is not healthy. You shouldn’t lock up yourself like this. You’re only hurting yourself.”

"This is _all_ I have left of my old life. Everything and everyone else is gone. If I..." Steve bit on his lip as his emotions threatened to spill over. "...I can't destroy myself entirely."

"You wouldn't, Steve," Tony gasped. "You are still you no matter who you choose to be with!"

"It would be a part of my identity, Tony!" Steve hissed. "I would no longer be the man I once was!"

“Your identity is poisonous then! Don’t do this! You don’t have to be with me! At least embrace this part of yourself!”

Steve felt like he could barely breathe. A wall was growing between him and his best friend and Steve desperately wanted to stop it. But if Steve did that, it meant embracing something he was not ready for. How could Tony ask this of him? With clenched fists, Steve stated with a shaking voice, “This is me. This is my identity.”

Tony pinched his brow and hissed, "You are _fucking_ impossible! How many times do I have to say this!? _You will still be you!_ "

Steve was instantly enraged and hurt. How could Tony be so dense! It wasn’t that simple! Steve lashed back, " _No, you are impossible_! You are not listening to me! I just want to hold on to that one little piece of my past and you are brushing it away like it is nothing!"

"But _it is_ nothing! The past is gone! There's nothing you can change about it! I am not the same man I was ten years ago and I gladly let it go. And _you_ too would have changed regardless. It just would have been in a different era!"

Steve shook his head and reasoned, "It would have been my home."

Tony flinched back like he struck him. Tony looked down and clenched his fists.

"Stark Tower is your home. My home is yours," Tony whispered to the floor.

Steve bit down on his lip as his heart clenched. His emotions warred within him and he did not know how to reply. Yes, New York had always been his home but the Tower...the Tower had been more than that. _It was his sanctuary_. It was...it was where his new family was...but he didn’t know how to tell Tony this without it sounding like he meant more.

How could he tell Tony that he was right, and Steve would be nothing without him, without giving Tony hope?

Tony's shoulders seemed to sink more with Steve's silence.

Coulson cleared his throat, reminding them that they were not alone. Both Tony and Steve flushed and Tony stepped back from Steve. They had forgotten there were others there and they most likely heard every word of their conversation as it got heated.

Tony crossed his arms over his chest with an angry huff and speared his glare into the ground. Hurt and sadness churned within Steve and he had the awful feeling of wanting to throttle Tony or push him against the wall and hold him.

Tony stalked to the back of the plane and gave them no warning as he punched the release and opened the back door.

“Tony?!” Steve exclaimed in alarm as the winds tore through the compartment.

“I’m going to fly the rest of the way,” Tony growled and leapt out of the plane.

Steve took a step toward him as if to stop him but Tony was already gone and Steve was reaching out to open air. His heart twisted painfully in his chest and he drew his hand back to his side.

He easily reasoned it hurt so much because the incidence mirrored how Bucky had died, falling into the darkness just out of Steve’s reach. But he couldn’t reason why reflecting on their second kiss made him want to cry.

\---

They spent the rest of the flight ignoring each other and, once they reached the helicarrier, they continued to avoid each other. Tony scurried away to the labs with Dr. Banner and Steve stationed himself with Natasha and Coulson in the main hub of the carrier.

Steve stood tall but, on the inside, he felt hallow. One push and he knew his fragile shell would collapse.

How did he and Tony come to this?

Steve just wanted…he wanted…

His heart twisted as he was unable – no, _unwilling_ – to complete the thought.

“Captain, come here!” Fury barked.

He came to Fury’s call and stood next to Coulson. His handler spared him a small, comforting smile before looking back to Fury. As soon as he was there Fury began his explanation of their mission and target.

Loki, the cause of all of this upheaval, was spotted in Germany and they were to bring him in. Steve almost sighed in relief over the mission. Loki was terrorizing innocent people, which was horrible, but…at least Steve could focus on the mission and not…other things.

Fury sent Steve and Natasha out to retrieve him and Coulson was to wait on standby if they needed a wave of SHIELD agents.

Steve spent most of the flight to Germany staring blankly out of the window of the quinjet. Natasha sat up front with the pilot and they lightly talked about their heading.

“Steve, you’re going to have to jump in. He looks like he’s going to start hurting people!” Natasha hissed.

Steve jumped up and clipped on his helmet. Without another word, he ran to the back of the jet and leapt into the thick of it.

Loki didn’t go down without a fight and the staff he wielded used the same energy Hydra fought with. It put Steve on the edge but it marvelously cleared his mind.

No more dark thoughts of Tony invaded his mind and his body was able to relax as it went through the familiar exertions of fighting.

Steve went at the trickster with all he had. He had never faced such a foe before but he was determined to bring him down. By the way they were fighting, Steve guessed it would be a lengthy battle…until Iron Man showed up and put Loki down with one blast.

Loki suddenly gave up easily with Tony’s appearance.

“I had it under control,” Steve grumbled, irrationally annoyed by Tony’s save. With Tony there and the fight not distracting him, the conflicting emotions came trickling back. His heart felt like it was being crushed between two large anvils when he looked up to his friend.

“You’re welcome, Cap,” Tony retorted snarkly which, in turn, increased Steve’s aggravation with the man. Why’d he have to be so-so… _Tony_??

Steve roughly grabbed Loki and hissed to Tony, “You weren’t cleared to come here by Fury.”

“And good thing I did or Reindeer Games here would have gotten away,” Tony retorted angrily.

“Is this some sort of lovers’ spat?” Loki asked with an amused smirk.

Steve turned to the trickster with an air of horror and the alien laughed.

“The man would need to tolerate my touch to be my lover,” Tony spat and took off. His words speared themselves into Steve’s chest and unexplainable guilt rushed through him.

“I think you and the Man of Iron need to sit down and talk,” Loki teased.

Steve roughly jerked the man to his feet and hissed, “Shut up.”

Natasha landed the quinjet a hundred feet away and Steve led the Norse God to it but his thoughts were no longer on the mission but on the iron sentinel watching over the proceedings from a mile away in the sky.

Steve bit down on his lip and kept his head tipped down so he could avoid looking at the man who was making him doubt everything he once knew.

\---

Tony was hurt and pissed and he was soooo glad Point Break tried to break his brother out of the quinjet on their way back to the helicarrier.

Tony hit the man with everything he had but the blond still remained standing. He was a perfect conduit for Tony to unleash his rage on. Every time the giant slammed his hammer, the very teeth rattled in Tony’s skull and a strange tingling fear raced up his spine but he ignored all that to keep pushing at the man.

Jarvis was rattling off the data SHIELD had provided him about Thor but Tony was only half listening. The majority of his attention was focused on the swing of the giant’s hammer.

In the course of a few minutes, Tony had been hit by that hammer, hit by lightning, and nearly had his limbs crushed by the man’s superior strength but he kept throwing himself at him.

Out of nowhere, Tony and Point Break were pushed off each other by the rebound of Steve’s shield. The man himself yelled out, “Hey! That’s enough!” Steve caught his shield as he jumped into the clearing. He looked to Tony and Tony jerked his gaze away. He internally called Steve all sorts of nasty names. Steve’s mouth tightened as if he could hear Tony’s inner monologue and he turned to Point Break and diplomatically said, “I don’t know what you’re doing here...”

“I’ve come here to put an end to Loki’s schemes!” The giant yelled.

“Prove it, put that hammer down,” Steve said and Tony’s hackles instantly rose.

“No, bad call!” Tony gasped, “He loves his hammer!” He reached out to the god but he pushed Tony away like he was nothing.

“You want me to put the hammer down?!”

Tony scrambled to his feet. Steve only had the shield, he had no armor, and one hit physically or with lightning could hurt or kill him! All of Tony’s anger evaporated and his fear laced his blood with acid as the hammer came down on Steve.

Steve raised his shield in time to deflect the blow but it struck the shield with such a force that Tony was blown off his feet and the surrounding area was hit by a shockwave powerful enough to knock over some trees.

As soon as he was able, Tony blasted back to Steve’s side and, for a moment, he thought something was wrong. Steve looked shaken and was staring at Point Break’s hammer with shock, fear, and, strangely enough, recollection.

As soon as Tony was at his side, however, all those emotions vanished. He stiffly pushed himself up and demanded from both of them, “Are we done here?”

They’ve reached a stalemate and Thor diplomatically let them retain custody of Loki…for now.

In the helicarrier, Tony let Fury settle what to do with the Norse gods and went in search of Bruce. He was in the lab, right where he left him.

“How’d it go?” Bruce asked.

The door to the lab opened before Tony could reply and Steve stepped in. He was still in his uniform but he had removed his helmet. Tony's stupid first thoughts were about how much better Steve looked without it…

Tony instantly frowned and looked down at his food. A strong combination of hurt and want warred within him. Why did Steve come here now? He didn’t want to deal with him or with what their relationship constituted as now.

Steve silently went up to Tony, placing a holo-counter between them, and whispered, “It was Thor. When I was in the ice, he’s the one who woke me…” Tony’s head snapped up and he stared at Steve with shock. Steve continued, “Or it was the hammer, at least, he’s the reason I’m here. I don’t know if I should thank him or…”

Tony broke their locked gazes and murmured, “Why are you telling me.”

From the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of pain cross Steve’s face. Steve dropped his head and whispered, “I wanted to talk to someone about it and I immediately thought of you…”

Tony forced his gaze back onto his holograms but he didn’t read the calibrations. Instead, he had the strangest urge to go find Thor and clap him on the back and buy the man a drink. He wanted to talk to Steve about it but…

“Shall we celebrate?” Tony icily replied, “I can crack open another bottle of champagne again, you can try to kiss me again, you can pretend it meant nothing again, and then…you can push me away again. And you can pretend it never happened _again_.”

Steve flushed and embarrassedly glanced at Bruce who was openly staring at both of them with his mouth slightly agape.

“Tony…” Steve whispered imploringly.

Tony turned away from him and opened another hologram. He expanded it and scrolled through the results to look like he was doing something.

Tony wanted to shut Steve up by sealing his mouth over Steve’s. He wanted no tension between them and wanted Steve to embrace this. He didn’t understand why he wouldn’t accept it!

Steve had no rebuttal so, without looking at Steve, Tony stated, “Steve, I’m busy.”

Steve’s silence felt oppressive within the first few seconds but Tony refused to turn around to face him. Eventually, Steve left. His footsteps echoed loudly in the small lab.

“…Tony, h-how long have you and Cap…?”

“How long have we been what Bruce?” Tony eluded the question.

“Th-this-,” Bruce gasped with a flush.

Tony smiled sadly at his newfound friend and replied, “Technically…a few weeks. I kissed him the same day he came out to the world…and last night he tried to kiss me. But he keeps trying to deny anything is happening between us…”

“…Wow,” Bruce gasped.

Tony huffed and sarcastically replied, “Yeah, bet you weren’t expecting this kind of drama when you agreed to come up here.”

Bruce chuckled and said, “I’m glad to see I’m not the only one with a fucked up life.”

Tony laughed and said, “I like you.”

“I’m not going to kiss you.”

Tony clutched his stomach and laughed harder. The tension he’d been feeling melted away with Bruce’s dry humor. He gasped, “Thank God for you Bruce!”

Bruce grinned shyly in reply. It was the first time Tony had seen a semblance of a smile on his face and it made Tony feel good.

\---

Tony decided Fury was an insane maniac who was trying to start World War III.

The madman was trying to harness the tesseract to make _weapons_! Unsurprisingly, Steve shared his views on the matter and, for the first time since they started fighting, they were finally able to agree on something. Fury was in the wrong and they had to put a stop to it.

They probably would have teamed up and left if the helicarrier hadn't been attacked.

The battle was quick but brutal and they just barely kept the helicarrier flying. They got Barton back but Loki had escaped and Bruce had Hulked out and was gone.

Many lives were lost, Coulson included.

Fury delivered the news to them personally and blamed the fact that the entire team was divided for this tragedy. Tony was loathe to admit it…but he was right. He and Steve had brought their personal baggage into this and their constant nitpicking played a huge part in keeping everyone divided and on edge.  

Steve had to excuse himself once Fury was done with the debriefing and Tony was quick to follow him. Losing Coulson hurt Tony and Tony barely knew the man. Steve had worked with and befriended Coulson. He shouldn't be alone.

Tony found his friend hunched over in an unused hall.

Tony paused when he saw him and wondered if he should leave Steve alone. When he saw the trembling in his shoulders, Tony was reminded of that night he had woken Steve from his nightmare and Tony separated the distance between them in a few quick strides.

No matter their feelings toward each other, Tony was not going to leave Steve alone during this.

He wordlessly came up behind his friend and wrapped his arms around Steve and pressed his face in between his shoulder blades. He had expected Steve to push him away. Instead, Steve leaned back into Tony and wrapped his arms over Tony’s on his waist.

“He was a good man,” Tony whispered. Steve’s shaking renewed with the statement and his fingers dug into Tony’s arms. Steve nodded to Tony’s statement but did not verbally reply as he repressed his sobs.

Eventually, Steve drew himself out of Tony’s hold and turned to him as he rubbed the moisture from his eyes. Tony did not totally release Steve from his embrace and kept his hands on Steve’s biceps. He rubbed at his arms reassuringly. Steve grasped one of his hands and pressed it into his arm, curling his fingers around Tony’s hands.

He regarded Tony shamefully and whispered, “I’m sorry for everything that's happened. I don't want to lose your friendship but we need to-to sit down and talk about us. I can't lose you too, Tony. Especially over a petty squabble.”

Tony wrapped his free arm around Steve in a tight half-hug and hissed, “My thoughts exactly.” He pulled back to meet Steve’s eyes and asked, “Truce?”

“For now, Shellhead,” Steve whispered dryly, squeezing his hand one last time before letting go. Tony smirked at the retort but pressed Steve into a full embrace and held his friend all the tighter. Steve returned the hold with a content sigh.

\---

The final battle to decide Earth’s fate was being waged in New York, his and Tony’s home. Loki seemed to be looking more for a grand stage but he also successfully managed to give them another reason to defeat him.

He and Tony were working in tandem again. Tony was fought in the skies and Steve fought and directed the battle on the ground.

The Chitauri swarm over New York like a plague of locus. Steve directed everyone to their places and where they would be most beneficial but, if they don’t get that portal closed, the battle would not end in their favor.

“I can do it! Can anybody copy! I can shut the portal down!” Natasha called over the communicator and Steve’s heart leapt in his chest. This was it!

Steve punched back one of the aliens and then yelled, “DO IT!”

“No, wait!” Tony hissed over the coms.

“Tony, those things are still coming!” Steve yelled. They had no time for his usual sarcasm!

“I’ve got a nuke coming in and it’s going to blow in less than a minute,” Tony stated and Steve’s breath caught in his throat. They shot a nuclear bomb at New York?! Tony continued, “And I know just where to put it…”

It took Steve a moment to comprehend Tony’s words.

They didn’t know where that portal led and with that bomb…

At first, his entire being rejected the idea. He’d rather a thousand nuclear bombs be launched than lose Tony.

Steve choked, “T-Tony…that’s a one-way trip.”

“I know, Steve, I…I’m sorry,” Tony whispered. Steve inadvertently took a step toward Tony, flying hundreds of miles away from him.

At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to embrace the man. With the realization he would lose him, he wouldn’t deny it anymore. He wanted Tony. He wanted to hold him, kiss him, be with him. He wanted to take back everything he said and did just to be able to see him smile again. He would change everything about himself if he could save his friend’s life.

It was all so unfair.

With tears starting to run down his face, Stave gasped, “I’m sorry too. If I could…” He inhaled sharply and said, “Tony, that night on the couch, I wanted to kiss you back. _I should have kissed you back._ ”

“I shouldn’t have run away,” Tony whispered. “Maybe in another life, I would have sta-.”

Iron Man disappeared into the black hole and the transmission was cut.

Steve collapsed to his knees as if his tendons had been cut.

“Tony!” He called out over the coms but there was only static.

The Chitauri collapsed around them and Steve knew Tony had done it. He’d saved them all…but…He waited with vain hope, his eyes glued to the black hole.

“Please, Tony,” he whispered.

A minute passed and the danger of the nuclear blast coming through was becoming imminent. With a painful gasp, Steve hissed, “Close it.”

Natasha needed no other explanation and did as commanded. The portal was closed and, to his ultimate surprise, Tony fell through at the last moment. If Steve hadn’t already fallen to his knees he would have done so now with the overwhelming relief that flowed through him. He gasped, “Thank God.”

“He’s not slowing down,” Thor hissed urgently and began to spin his hammer for flight.

Hulk caught Tony before Thor could leap and landed roughly beside them. Steve scrambled to where Hulk dropped Tony. Thor was at his side and ripped the face plate off Tony’s face. Steve worriedly touched Tony’s chest and his acidic fear burned into him again as he saw his arc reactor was not lit.

“Tony?!” Steve gasped but the man did not budge.

Hulk roared, making Steve flinch but also making Tony’s eyes snap open.

Steve clutched Tony’s face at the first sign of life as Tony gasped for breath. His hazel eyes frantically looked around them until they settled on Steve. With his eyes boring into Steve’s, he gasped, “Please tell me you kissed me.”

Steve laughed wetly and did as Tony suggested and kissed him. Tony pushed back into the kiss even though it was probably disgusting because Steve was a weepy mess.

Tony was alive and Steve would never push him away again.

\---

It felt like every bone and muscle in Tony’s body was bruised. But he never felt so good before as the warm food filled his stomach.

Around him, the rest of the team sat in a tight circle around the table and all of them were equally and completely exhausted.

“I think shawarma is my new favorite food,” Tony mumbled.

“Hear, hear,” Clint tiredly sighed in agreement.

Tony’s eyes flickered to Steve and they both smiled as their gazes made contact. Beneath the table, they had been discretely playing footsies and Tony couldn’t be happier.

Nothing had been said since their kiss after the battle but Tony knew nothing need be said by the intense, promising looks Steve kept shooting him.

They weren't going to dance around this anymore and Tony couldn't be happier.

Tony put down his food and slowly drew his foot up Steve’s thigh. The super soldier’s tired eyes widened and he sat up straighter. Tony grinned slyly at Steve and then stood as he said, “I’ve got to take a piss.”

He went to the back of the restaurant and down the small hall to the bathroom and waited just beyond the doors. He only had to wait a few seconds before Steve followed him.

They needed no words. Their eyes met and their bodies converged upon each other.

Steve pushed Tony against the wall and Tony instantly plunged his tongue into Steve's throat. Steve groaned and Tony near about came from the sound.

He felt even more amazing than he imagined. He needed this but…

“Wait,” Tony gasped. Steve greedily sucked on his bottom lip, distracting him for a moment until he clarified, “ _Wait_!”

Steve stopped, huffing from the effort, and looked at him impatiently. Tony continued, needing to get this out there before it was too late. He gasped, “Just so you know, I don’t _do_ relationships. It didn’t work with Pep. I’m just crap at them. This – between us – it’s just going to be casual, right?”

He could have sworn he saw hurt and conflict in Steve’s for a moment but it all disappeared in a blink and Steve roughly whispered, “As long as you’re in my arms and you’re happy…then I’m happy.”

Tony wasn’t convinced. He implored, "Really? Are you sure? If you don't want to, I understand!"

Steve's gaze dropped and he stared at the arc reactor embedded in Tony's chest. His blue eyes were a maelstrom of emotions and glowed eerily in the reflection of the reactor as Steve considered Tony's words. Finally, he lifted his gaze and stated, "I can’t lose you again, Tony, and I’m not going to deny my feelings anymore. I want you. All of you and all that comes with it."

Steve pressed his mouth into Tony’s with more ferocity and silenced any retort Tony may have had. Any other thoughts Tony may have had disappeared when Steve bent down and picked him up by his thighs, wrapping Tony’s legs around his waist and pressing Tony into the wall.

“Holy fuck,” Tony gasped, grasping Steve’s arms tightly.

“Not here,” Steve hissed into his mouth and then promised, “Maybe later tonight.”

“Ohhh yesss,” Tony groaned. This had to be a dream. He and Steve were going to be fuck buddies?

Steve cupped his face and swallowed the rest of his groan with his perfect mouth. Tony wrapped his arms around Steve’s head and returned the kiss just as passionately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Tony...
> 
> Next time, Ch.9: Can one Fondue and Just be Friends too?


	9. Can one Fondue and be Just Friends too?

Steve took a long, hot shower as soon as they got home. The feel of Tony’s touch against his skin, the taste of his tongue, and the echo of his moans all saturated his senses ever since the restaurant. They made out in the back of the shawarma shop until the owner accidentally came across them and they separated in a fit of excited chuckles and mumbled apologies to the shocked man.

They hadn’t left each other’s sides since but they were also never alone again.

Steve didn’t let himself think as he kissed Tony. He already told himself he would no longer deny what he wanted and he did not…at least, not physically…but emotionally…

“ _I don’t do relationships_ ,” the memory of Tony’s words whispered in his ear.

Steve shuddered from the memory. It wasn’t exactly what Steve wanted but…could he do it?

Before Tony, he had never considered going into a “casual” relationship nonetheless doing so with a man. He didn’t like the idea of having Tony one night and him being free to go to someone else the next night. And, if they were doing this, he did not want it to be merely physical…

Steve sighed heavily and leaned in closer to the hot spray.

What was he getting into?

He promised Tony he’d come to his room after his shower…

Longing thrummed through his body at the thought. If they still remained friends, maybe he could do casual? They’d still have a close relationship as friends. Maybe that would be enough?

Steve turned off the shower with a renewed sense of purpose. He wanted Tony. He should try Tony’s way. Maybe it was all he needed.

Steve toweled off and paused as he considered is clothing options. He boldly decided to wear only a bathrobe and tightly tied the belt around his waist with a flush. He was already growing aroused and soon it would be blatantly obvious.

Steve’s heart was beginning to frantically beat against the inner wall of his chest. He decided to jump right into this. If they were being casual there was no need for romance, just carnal pleasure. Steve looked up at his reflection in the mirror. His hair was already starting to dry and was growing lighter in color and his face was bright red. Steve patted down the burning flesh, trying to dispel the coloring. He gave up with a sigh.

Adjusting his robe, Steve quickly exited his bathroom, crossed his bedroom, and swung open his door.

Tony was leaning against the wall across from Steve’s door, wearing the same shirt and jeans he had left him in.

Steve jolted to a stop and Tony grinned widely as he met Steve’s shocked gaze. Tony’s gaze fell to take in Steve's body and his eyes became more heated. Steve’s flush deepened. He chose wisely with the bathrobe.

Steve stood straighter but his breathing only became shallower as his unquestionable desire grew.

Tony flushed too and rubbed his lower face. His eyes darted from the bathrobe to Steve’s face repeatedly before he spoke.

“Are-Are…Is this really happening? Because I-I will be sorely disappointed if this a dream,” Tony stammered. “I mean w-wow. Hi. Why’d I say hi? Look at you…You look good wet and practically naked – hem – I mean, are you? A-Are you wearing anything – uh – under that clothing—there—the robe…on you?”

Steve grinned. He recognized this side of Tony. He only prattled on like this when he was nervous. Steve slowly stalked up to Tony and replied, “I am real. This is not a dream. And I am completely naked underneath this bathrobe.”

Steve smiled at Tony as the other man’s eyes dilated with arousal. They were doing this and the notion made Steve’s stomach flutter happily and do a nervous flip.

Tony grinned and Steve stopped in front of him with only inches to spare. Still grinning, Tony tilted his head to the side and lightly placed his fingertips on Steve’s chest. This tiny spot of contact electrified him and Steve stood straighter.

Tony fingered the edge of his robe and asked, “May I?”

Steve swallowed and reminded himself that this was real. No more guilty fantasies and dreams.

“Yes,” Steve replied breathlessly.

Tony lightly ran his fingers down the hem of Steve’s robe until he reached the belt where it was knotted. Steve heart raced inexplicitly faster from Tony’s caress. Tony grasped the knot and pulled Steve toward him with a light jerk.

Steve smothered a nervous chuckle, Tony was never one to beat around the bush. Steve bent his head and kissed the shorter man. His hot mouth greedily pressed into Steve’s and Steve relaxed into his hold.

Tony pressed his body into Steve’s as they kissed and he tugged at the knot Steve had tied only minutes ago. Steve ran his hands under Tony’s shirt, feeling the skin underneath for the first time. Yet once Steve’s belt was loosened did Tony break their kiss and step back.

They were both gasping for air and Steve’s erection was bordering on obscene as it tented the robe.

Tony pulled at the belt to his robe until he completely removed it from Steve’s robe. Steve stood still as the robe shifted but it remained in relatively the same position thanks to his damp skin. Tony snapped back the belt and threw it somewhere behind him. Steve did not see where it landed. He was drawn into Tony’s gaze and was locked in. He couldn’t look away from Tony’s voracious gaze.

Tony bit down on his lower lip and slowly released it, making Steve’s mouth water. God, he wanted to go back to kissing him. Tony raised his hand back to the hem of his robe at chest level and unhurriedly drew it to the side. The soft fabric caressed his skin as it parted and exposed him to Tony. At first, only a little was exposed, a column of his right pec, torso, hip, and thigh. His penis and the rest of them remained hidden behind the rest of his robe.

Tony paused, ran his tongue over his lip, and then bit down on it again. Steve bit the inside of his cheek to muffle a moan.

Steve motioned to remove the robe himself but Tony stopped him and teased, “Patience. This is my present to unwrap.”

Smiling wily, Tony slowly caressed the exposed skin, starting at his shoulder and tracing down to the top of his thigh. Steve was shaking by the time he was done.

Tony drew his caress back up and Steve had to adjust his step to keep from staggering. Steve was going to launch himself at Tony if he didn’t do something more. Tony’s fingers eventually paused and grasped the robe over Steve’s shoulder. Steve held his breath as the rest of the robe fell away with the pull. Steve shivered as a rush of cold air gusted over his skin.

Tony’s eyes grew large as he took Steve in and he hissed, “ _Fuck_.”

Steve felt exposed and it made him nervous and lustful at the same time. He had never been completely naked with someone before, not even Peggy, and they hadn’t been a virtuous couple.

He stood still, not knowing what to do other than breathlessly correct Tony, “Language.”

Tony smirked and drew his shirt over his head with a quick snap. Tony asked, “Did you just correct my language?”

“It just sorta slipped out,” Steve garbled embarrassedly. His eyes were glued to Tony’s chest. He’d seen Tony without a shirt before but now he reached out and tentatively touched him.

Tony laughed and pulled Steve into his embrace. He teased, “Gosh, darn, I'm sorry.”

“Shut up,” Steve moaned, finally relaxing into his hold as Tony’s usual abrasive manner came out.

Tony continued to grin cheekily until Steve finally kissed him. Instead of continuing to tease him, Tony’s demeanor completely changed and he moaned sinfully into Steve’s lips.

Steve mirrored his moan as his naked body pressed into Tony’s. The bare flesh of Tony’s chest rubbed against Steve’s and he frantically tugged at Tony’s pants to feel more of his flesh.

Tony laughed into his mouth and drew Steve to his bedroom.

“Bigger bed,” Tony breathlessly explained and Steve quickened his pace.

They were all over each other and the dozen or so feet to Tony’s room and bed took thrice as long to get to. They mostly rolled over the walls kissing and running their hands over each other. Steve had only managed to unbutton Tony’s jeans by the time they reached his bedroom.

Once they were inside, Tony pushed him to the bed and Steve willingly stumbled back a few steps and fell back on the bed. He never removed his eyes from Tony as Tony sauntered in front of him.

Grinning cheekily, Tony undid his jeans and let gravity take over in dropping them. He was naked underneath and Steve could not look away from the sight. He'd seen plenty of naked men in the army but the fact that Tony was aroused because of him…Steve near about came at the sight. He so badly wanted to kiss and touch him but he remained where he was on the bed and waited for Tony.

“You look so incredibly wanton. What have you done with my Steve?” Tony purred, touching his length as he stared at Steve.

Steve flushed but it was mostly from the fact that he had called Steve “my Steve.”

Steve scooted back onto the bed and opened his legs wider as he asked, “Why don’t you find out?”

Tony’s grin widened and he dove onto Steve. Steve half screamed, half laughed as he caught Tony. They both were a tangle of limbs and scrambled to slot their bodies accordingly. It was made more cumbersome as they tried to kiss each other between their chuckles.

Finally, Steve found himself on top with Tony beneath him. Tony slowly raised his legs wrapped them around Steve’s waist. He dug his heels into Steve’s ass and Steve bit back a moan.

With a serious expression, Tony reached up to cup Steve’s face and he promised, “I’m going to be good to you.”

Steve smiled at him as a happy warmth bubbled in his chest and he tilted his head to lightly kiss Tony’s palm. He continued his kisses down his arm and Tony wrapped his arms behind Steve’s head, drawing Steve’s kisses quicker down Tony’s arm, across his chest, up his neck and finally settled on his lips.

Tony tightened his legs and drew their hips together until their cocks touched. They both moaned heavily into each other’s mouths upon contact and paused to gasp heavily as they adjusted to the new sensation. Tony moved his hips, humping himself into Steve and ran his hands over Steve’s torso in an act of incredible torture.

Every touch elicited noises from Steve that would have embarrassed him had he been in his right mind.

Tony wrapped his hand around both of their cocks and Steve’s limbs violently trembled. He almost totally collapsed on top of Tony.

“You feel amazing,” Tony groaned and he pressed his mouth to Steve’s again.

As Steve humped into Tony’s hold, he dug his fingers into Tony’s ass and encouraged him to move with him.

“ _Steve_ ,” Tony groaned. Steve moaned in encouragement and sloppily kissed him.

Steve came first and Tony thrust madly into his fist and came quickly after. Steve fell on top of Tony and Tony wrapped his arms around him.

Steve snuggled into him and Tony whispered, “We need to do this often.”

Steve smiled sadly into Tony’s flesh as he remember the extent of their relationship and some of his good feeling disappeared as he whispered, “Yeah…”

\---

Tony shivered and reached out to Steve but he was no longer at his side. Tony tiredly patted the bed but there was no trace of Steve. He pushed himself up with a grumble and the light from his arc reactor lit up the room enough to show there was no sign of the super soldier.

Tony grabbed the comforter and wrapped it around himself. He followed the cold and found half of his kitchen was missing and was replaced by a huge hole in the wall, exposing his home to the rest of New York City.

Tony leaned against the wall and groaned. This wasn't going to be the only damage to the Tower. It had been at the epicenter of the battle.

“I just finished the Tower, _Goddamnit_ ,” Tony whined.

“You’ll just have to rebuild it,” Steve reasoned.

Tony spun around and smirked as his eyes fell on his lover. Steve was back in his bathrobe and was holding a second comforter.

“Why are you not naked and in my bed?”

“I wasn’t going to walk around the apartment naked when half of New York can look in,” Steve replied with an eye roll. He held up the comforter and said, “And it was cold so I got us some more layers.”

Tony laughed and crossed the room to place himself in front of Steve. Just being near the man made Tony’s blood pump with desire.

Tony shamelessly muttered, “You know, if you were cold, I have several creative ways on how to warm a person up.”

Steve flushed and leaned toward him as he asked, “Again?”

Tony laughed again and grasped the collar of Steve’s robe to give his assent and draw him into another kiss.

They stumbled back to his bed, a mass of tangled limbs and eager mouths. By the sounds Steve made, he sounded very appreciative at learning how to keep warm.

Morning came and Tony blearily woke to the sounds of the city waking and healing. Sirens intensified with the new light and construction crews were already busily at work.

And Steve was not in his bed again.

Tony frowned as he touched the spot his friend had fallen asleep. He was going to have to ween Steve out of his habit.

Tony sat up and asked, “J, where is Steve?”

“He is currently helping the 12th precinct search the collapsed building in their district.”

Tony sighed, “So much for morning sex…”

He wanted to explore anal sex but it looked like he had to hold it off…

Tony took a quick shower and swallowed a mouthful of coffee before he followed Steve out into the city.

The city was in shambles and all thoughts of sex left him as he considered what he had to do to help his home. Jarvis located several citizens stuck in a number of high rises and he went to work to helping them out. He then moved on to moving rumble and the rest of the day became a blur.

“Hey, Tony!” Steve called out over the communicator. “You hungry? I just unburied a Thai restaurant and the owner is offering to cook food for all the responders.”

“Yes, please,” Tony groaned. He hadn’t eaten anything since shawarma. Steve gave him the address and Jarvis gave him the directions.

Steve waited for him outside and waved to him as he landed beside him.

A number of police officers and firemen were already getting fed. Several people called out to Tony as he landed beside Steve and a handful more came over to clap his back and thank him. Tony accepted the thanks and turned the thanks back onto the same men and women who had been working tirelessly all day.

Steve left his side for only a moment and returned with two plates of steaming goodness. He let Steve pull him away and they squatted down a nearby alley to eat in peace.

“This is so good,” Tony groaned and shoveled more of the sauced chicken into his mouth.

Steve chuckled and reached out to wipe some of the sauce off his chin. He admonished playfully, “Chew your food.”

Tony licked his lips and leaned into his touch as he countered, “Make me.”

Steve sighed heavily and, to Tony’s absolute surprise, pulled away from him.

Steve awkwardly ran his hand through his blond hair, dirty from dust and sweat from all the work he had been doing, and he said, “Tony…when you say you want us to be ‘casual,’ what does that mean?”

Talking about relationships instantly raised his hackles and Tony warily asked, “What do you mean?”

Steve flushed and said, “Natasha, once told me about ‘friends with benefits’ and I was wondering if that was what we’ll have. We’ll remain friends but we’ll also have sex?”

Tony inwardly sighed in relief and said, “Yes, yes that is exactly what I am looking for.”

Steve nodded and continued, “If we do this, then I have some stipulations.”

Tony chuckled, “You sound like Pepper.”

He continued like Tony hadn’t said anything (another Pepper quirk that made Tony grin) and Steve said, “I don’t want to come out if I don’t have someone seriously by my side so we need to keep this out of the media.”

“Done,” Tony said with a nod.

“That means nothing in public,” Steve reminded him.

“I know, I know," Tony replied. It was going to be hard. He wasn’t used to retraining himself but he’ll do it for Steve.

“And this will come to an immediate end once one of us decides to get into a serious relationship with someone else,” Steve stated.

Tony was instantly enraged by the thought of Steve with someone else. He wanted to lash out at Steve for even thinking it but…Tony sighed. This is what he wanted and “casual” had its drawbacks and he knew from the beginning Steve was not a casual guy.

Tony cleared his throat and huskily said, “Yeah, yeah I can do that…”

Steve smiled diminutively at him and nodded. He looked at his food and said, “Good. That’s all I want. We can continue our affair in the privacy of the Tower but…out here we’re just friends.”

“Alright,” Tony sighed, poking at his food and strangely feeling like a dejected child.

\---

In the weeks it took New York to heal, Steve and Tony fell into a routine.

During the day, they became the faces of the Avengers and helped in the reconstruction of New York both directly and indirectly. They and the other Avengers helped in the cleanup and moving large hindrances. They were the only two faces of the Avengers who were public before the attack and the only two who were okay with remaining public. The others were too used to the lives of being elusive and did not want to be on camera more than they had to so Steve and Tony became to faces of the Avengers. They mainly helped in obtaining funding by speaking on behalf of New York to the rest of the world in request for aide.

Steve and Tony were never far from each other’s sides and, on numerous occasions, had publically called each other best friend and America fell in love with their rapport. Their friendship was being painted as the cornerstone to the formation of the team. People proclaimed them the dream team with Steve bringing the strength and old-school knowhow and Tony bringing the brains and modern tech. It was a role both men easily adorned. Steve had been the face of the American soldier during his USO tour and he simply adopted the same mindset. He didn’t have to kiss any crying babies yet but Tony still teased about the possibility. Tony too was able to handle the media as he had been doing it all his life. He confided to Steve that it was much more fun with someone at his side.

Nevertheless, at night and in the privacy the Tower, they were totally different people.

“H-Harder,” Tony moaned into the pillow.

Steve draped his body over Tony’s, his chest was instantly sticking to Tony’s back from their combined sweat. He jerked his hips harder into Tony’s backside upon his request. The smaller man groaned agreeably beneath him and Steve satisfactorily smirked. He sucked and bit at the back of Tony’s neck and kept both his hands on his hips to control his thrusts.

Steve never felt as free as when he was making love with Tony. In the time since they started, Steve learned more about Tony than he ever thought possible. In the throes of passion, the older man was more lose lipped and tender. Tony whispered endearments that made Steve’s heart flutter and eyes prickle.

Steve kissed the juncture between Tony’s neck and collarbone.

“Steve,” Tony gasped, turning his head to Steve and Steve released his hold on Tony’s hip to grasp the corner of his jaw and draw him into a kiss. He tried to put all of his feelings into it, showing Tony how much he loved this, how much he loved being with him…how much he loved him.

Tony came with a strangled cry and collapsed beneath him. Steve let his face slip from his fingers and he readjusted his hold on Tony’s hips. Steve clutched his hips tightly and thrust quickly and shallowly to follow his lover and he too collapsed as he came.

Steve fell on top of Tony but, upon Tony’s muffled grumbles, he chuckled and slipped off him. Tony faced Steve and Steve scooted so he could more easily wrap his arm over Tony’s side.

“Mmmmm,” Tony happily hummed as he nestled into Steve’s arms. “Amazing as always.”

Steve pressed his face into Tony’s hair and inhaled his rich scent. He couldn’t believe he had ever denied this. He pressed a kiss into Tony’s scalp before answering, “Thank you.”

Tony chuckled into his chest and murmured, “You are more than welcome, Capsicle.”

Steve closed his eyes, readying himself for sleep, and contently sighed, “I love you.”

Tony jerked beneath him and Steve’s eyes snapped open.

His heart seized in his chest as he realized what he let slip.

Tony was tense in his embrace and Steve was deathly afraid to look at him. His gaze bored into the ceiling as he frantically wondered what to do.

Tony pushed himself out of Steve’s arms and sat up, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

Steve touched the small of his back and whispered, “Pretend you didn’t hear it.”

“That’s pretty hard to fricken ignore, Steve,” Tony grumbled, still refusing to look at him. “We can’t do this if you – if you…”

“It’s nothing…” Steve lied.

“No,” Tony sighed, shaking his head. “No, it is not.”

“I know,” Steve replied, his heart breaking. He scooted forward and wound his arms around Tony’s waist and pressed his face into the small of Tony’s back. His heart was beating frantically in his chest as his worry grew. What would Tony do??

“It’s just a feeling, I can’t help it, but I can…I can suppress it and it’ll go away,” Steve promised.

“Steve…” Tony sighed, his shoulders drooping.

Steve tightened his hold on Tony’s waist and took a long, steadying breath. He was the team’s leader and he embraced the persona as he stated with authority, “It will go away.”

Tony sighed heavily again and shook his head.

“Lie down,” Steve commanded. Tony twisted his body and finally looked down at him, his eyes clouded with worry. Steve pushed himself up and cupped Tony’s face. He pulled him down and kissed him, coaxing him back to his arms and to bed.

As he kissed him, Steve whispered, “It’s nothing…Forget it…We’re friends with benefits, nothing more…Forget it, Tony…Forget it…”

Tony never replied but he returned the kisses and that was enough for Steve.

They both slept uneasy that night.

It was not how Steve had ever imagined a confession of love to go over…

It took a few more nights of confessionless love making for Tony to completely relax but Steve could never shake to feeling of dread that always hovered in the back of his mind since that night.

A week after his confession, they were making love again, this time Tony was facing him as he pounded into him. He stared up at Steve with such affection that Steve could easily mistake it for love.

Steve pressed his face into Tony’s shoulder to escape his gaze. His heart was overfilling with so much love that his lips trembled with the sentiment. He knew if he kept staring at Tony’s devout gaze, he’d confess again. At that moment, when he was on the edge of orgasm, he wanted to tell Tony he loved him so much. He wanted to whisper it to him constantly…

Steve’s heart contracted painfully as he remained tightlipped.

“ _Steve_ ,” Tony groaned into his ear. Even his voice was layered with feeling.

Steve bit down on his lip at the sound and pumped more furiously to come faster. Tony moaned agreeably and started to rub more furiously at his shaft to come with him.

They came nearly at the same time and Steve collapsed at Tony’s side.

Tony instantly curled into Steve and nestled his face into Steve’s chest. He slurred, his voice layered with exhaustion and satisfaction, “I can hear your heart.”

Steve did not reply but wrapped his arms around Tony and pressed his face into his scalp. He darkly wondered if a broken heart sounded different than a normal one?

Tony had, had an exhausting day so he was quickly breathing softly and would soon be asleep. Steve pressed another kiss into his scalp and wordlessly mouthed the sentiment into Tony’s hair. He held him tightly to his chest and he wondered how much longer he could do this.

His very soul protested the thought of leaving Tony.

Tony was his center. He was the reason he survived the 21st century. Without Tony, Steve would have been lost or gone insane. And, most importantly, he loved him. He loved him so much he felt like his heart would burst. The love he shared with Peggy never equated to what he felt toward the older man in his arms. Tony grounded him in ways he would never understand. But their current arrangement…being so emotionally cut off from Tony, was destroying Steve. If Tony could not love him…he needed to find someone who could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Time, Ch. 10: New Friends, Spandex, and a Dash of Jealousy


	10. New Friends, Spandex, and a Dash of Jealousy

Steve started to accept missions from SHIELD again and Tony suddenly found his bed empty most nights.

He’d sometimes wake from a nightmare about the vortex and reach out to Steve, expecting him to be there. Whenever he wasn’t, Tony pathetically clutched Steve’s pillow and inhaled the scent that clung to it until he calmed down.

Tony was quick to admit that he missed and needed Steve but he never verbally told his lover. When he was gone, he may have slept less and sulked a little…

“Tonnnnyyy,” Pepper groaned with frustration.

Tony huffed loudly and frowned at Pepper. She was wearing her white dress suit and was keeping her distance from where Tony sat with the greasy pieces of his suit were laid out before him.

“You are useless right now,” she accused.

Tony sat up straighter upon the accusation and gasped, “Whaaatt?”

“What have I been talking about for the last half hour?” She questioned, “And, in that same amount of time, what have you been doing with your suit?”

Tony guiltily glanced down at the suit parts. He had taken it out for updating but all he had done was open it up. Nothing had been updated… and what was Pepper talking to him about? It was something about stock prices, wasn’t it? But was it good or bad?

“I’m not sulking, I’m just distracted,” Tony mumbled to deflect her question.

“Distracted by the fact that tall, blond, and muscles isn’t here?” Pepper easily guessed. Pepper knew about his current relationship with Steve and helped keep their secret. She was one of the first people they officially told. The others were their teammates but they pretty much already knew thanks to Steve kissing Tony in front of most of them after he fell out of the vortex. And lastly, they told Fury, just so SHIELD knew and wouldn’t try to use it against them.

Tony shrugged at Pepper’s allusion about Steve and said, “I guess.”

“He’s only been gone a few days,” Pepper noted.

“I’ve just grown used to him being around,” Tony explained. And he’d grown used to having another in his usually lonely life, to waking up in Steve’s arms, seeing his warm smile whenever he looked at him, having him only a room away, and…just having his presence in their home. The tower felt too empty without Steve. He felt empty without Steve…

“Hey,” Pepper whispered, grasping his shoulder lightly. “You know it’s more than that.”

Tony frowned at the redhead and she raised her eyebrow in return.

Pepper asked, “Why didn’t we work?”

“Iron Man,” Tony supplied gruffly at the subject change.

Pepper smiled sadly and agreed, “Yes, it all centered around Iron Man. But I know you blame yourself for our failed relationship, yet, I am mostly to blame for it…”

“What?!” Tony gasped, sitting up straighter. “No!”

Pepper held up her hand to silence him and stated, “I could only love one part of you. I could only love Tony. My heart wasn’t strong enough to take on what was needed to love and accept Iron Man as well.”

“Pep, you’re not making sense,” Tony argued. “You aren't at fault! You're perfect! I'm the damaged one!”

“I broke up with you because you are such a great person and deserved someone who could love all of you: Tony and Iron Man…I thought you understood that when we split but all of this with Steve…I can now see you blame yourself. I am the one at fault, Tony. I am not perfect. I was not strong enough. _I_ was the one who could not truly love all of you.”

Tony slumped in his seat, finally understanding what she was getting at. He murmured, “It’s not like that…”

“Steve is that person who can do it,” Pepper continued as if Tony never spoke. “He loves all of you.”

“Pep, you know me…I can’t love. I-I’m just not build that way…”

Tony wanted to love. He wanted Steve by his side for years and years to come but… Tony was cursed. Every relationship he attempted ended in glorious failure. It was a gift that he and Pepper were able to remain friends after their breakup and he attributed to the fact that she was such an amazing woman. All the other woman he dated despised him and he could not risk Steve hating him so in the end.

Long before he even met Steve, he had accepted no one could ever truly love him.

Pepper sighed heavily and sat beside him on the bench. She whispered fiercely, “Tony you can love. You have the biggest heart I know.” She lightly placed her hand on Tony’s chest, just above where his arc reactor was hidden beneath his dirty shirt, and whispered, “You love him. I can see it in your eyes whenever you look at him and I can see it in your eyes now… You desperately miss him.” She pressed her hand harder into his chest and she stated, “If you keep Steve at arm’s length, he’s going to eventually step back. He’s going to leave you. Do you want that?”

Tony shook his head and murmured, “He’s my best friend.”

Pepper cupped his cheek and Tony reluctantly met her blue-grey eyes. With a rougher voice, Pepper stated, “He will always be your friend. He is the most loyal person I have ever met…but, what you two are doing right now will not last. He’s going to stop sleeping with you but you will keep loving him and stubbornly denying it. And then, eventually, Steve will give his heart to another and you will be crushed.” She begged, “Don’t do this to yourself. You’d be happy with him. Stop pushing him away!”

“You can’t know that,” Tony hissed. “What if we get together and he starts hating all the time I spend in my lab instead of with him or-or what if he breaks it off because I disregard an order during a fight??”

“Those are all empty excuses and you know it. Steve would never do that. He’s lived with you for months and knows all your quirks. He’ll embrace them just like he’ll embrace everything about you that is amazing, and there are so many more good qualities about you…”

Tony looked down as he considered her words. Pepper always said she knew him better than himself. Could it really be so easy or possible even? With his heart racing, Tony finally admitted, his voice sounding tiny, “I…I don’t want to be hurt again.”

Pepper embraced him and held him tightly. Her crisp, white suit was instantly ruined but she didn’t seem to care. Tony melted into her hold and buried his face into Pepper’s red hair. He inhaled the flowery perfume of her shampoo and relaxed into the familiarity of its scent.

“Go to him,” she whispered, patting the back of his head in a comforting way. He pushed back and met her eyes. She grasped him by the shoulders and implored, “Go to him and tell him everything. Tell him you love him and want a relationship. Go be happy, Tony.”

She stood and pulled him up with her. She repeated, “Go to him.”

\---

“I should go back,” Tony murmured to himself as he paced in Steve’s apartment in Washington D.C. SHIELD had given him the place to have while on call in the district.

Steve was currently out and, by the early hour, Tony guessed he was on his morning run.

“This is the best course of action,” Jarvis stated from the StarkPhone in his pocket.

“I know but another smart option would be to leave and go back to our normal routines,” Tony tried to rationalize.

“Your and Master Rogers’ routines have been skewed the last three weeks,” Jarvis stated. “Most specifically, you have been less productive and he has been in residence less and not as social with his peers.”

Tony stopped his pacing and fell back onto Steve’s queen sized mattress. He placed his hand over his arc reactor as if to stifle his frantic heart beneath.

“Ohhhhh, this is stupid. Why am I doing this?” Tony murmured to himself.

“You are doing this because you wish to establish a stable relationship with Master Rogers,” Jarvis reminded him.

“Rhetorical question, Jarvis!” Tony groaned. “Go on mute!”

“Yes, sir,” Jarvis said, his voice fading as he did.

Tony sat up with a huff and his eyes trailed over Steve’s bedroom. It was nondescript and he could tell it was furnished before Steve moved in. There were very few personal touches to the décor other than items that had been placed recently.

Steve’s favorite throw was laying across the corner of the bed and Tony ran his hand over the soft fabric. Memories arose from the feel of the fabric and he recalled many nights cuddling under the blanket with Steve. Tony sat up, running his hand over the fabric and looked to the side.

Steve’s new uniform sat folded on the side table. He rounded the bed and checked out Steve’s new duds to distract himself. The uniform unfolded as he held it up and he was happy to see the bottom half of his uniform was going to be as tight as always on his ass. SHIELD was doing one thing right at least. Even though the fabric was armored and military grade, Tony already came up with a few spandex references to tease Steve about… that is, if everything turned out alright after Tony did his stupid confessing.

Tony tossed the uniform back on the table with a groan.

A couple photos were sitting upright on the dresser. He made a beeline to them before he could start second guessing himself again. The largest picture was of the Avengers. It was of their final meeting, before Thor departed, all of them were in high spirits and smiling widely. It had been taken a week after Tony and Steve’s affair began and Steve and Tony had their arms wrapped around each other’s waists and were leaning into each other in the middle of the group.

There was also a black and white photo of the Howling Commandoes, Peggy Carter, and Howard Stark. It was another group shot with the Commandoes posing with their weapons and Steve was in the middle again with Bucky Barnes at his side in the middle.

Tony’s eyes merely passed over these two photos and focused on the one that sat in front of them all. Tony picked it up with a small smile and whispered, “You sentimental idiot.”

It was a picture of them together. Steve had taken it himself, practicing selfies with his phone. Steve was smiling in the photo and Tony had kissed his cheek in the last second, totally catching him by surprise. Steve had playfully shoved him after and they had laughed before they tried again and Tony had actually posed and smiled in the next photo.

Such a photo in the wrong hands could spell disaster with the press but Steve found a way to print it either way. Tony bet Natasha helped him.

He could not wipe the grin off his face and, for the first time since entering Steve’s apartment, Tony began to feel at ease. Steve had to go out of his way to print this and he purposely printed one of them clearly as a couple. Steve liked to see them together and he woke up to this image every morning.

Staring at his friend’s smiling face in the photo, Tony found courage and whispered, “I love you.”

It was the first time he’d verbally said it, the first time he’d actually ever meant it. In his own mind, when the thought occurred, he ignored it or denied it out of fear. However, now there was a happy, bubbly feeling growing in his chest.

The fact that Steve had this photo gave him buckets of bravery where he did not have any moments prior. Tony was being overdramatic. Steve clearly cared for Tony.

Tony heard the key click in the lock at the front door and he hurriedly placed the photo back in its spot. It and the other two fell forward however and Tony cursed under his breath as he scrambled to fix them.

“Come in,” Steve’s voice made Tony freeze. “Would you like anything to drink? I have water, Gatorade, iced tea…”

“Yes, thanks, water, please,” a male stranger replied.

Tony’s pulse instantly picked up and he let the photos fall carelessly back onto the dresser. Who was this man? Why did Steve invite him in his apartment? Why was he giving him water??

Tony heard Steve open and close the fridge and the stranger reply, “Thanks.”

There was a brief silence and Tony imagined both drinking from water bottles. Tony left the dresser and raised his hand to open the door and announce himself.

“I never imagined Captain America bunking down in a place like this,” the stranger stated, breaking the silence. Steve laughed and Tony’s faltered in his steps.

“I just moved in. I haven’t quite settled yet.”

Settled? Why would he need to settle in? He lived with Tony! This place was only temporary!

With his adrenaline rushing, Tony pushed open the door and stepped into the other room.

Steve was the first to see him from his spot in the kitchen, facing the bedroom. His eyebrows shot up in surprise. He was wearing his running attire and his companion was dressed similarly. Steve’s acquaintance turned around and smiled in greeting as he recognized Tony.

Bile collected in the back of Tony’s throat as he took in the other man. He was tall, well-built, and young. All the things Tony was not. Jealousy instantly flared like a great boiling mass in his gut. Who was this person to Steve??

“Tony! What are you doing here?” Steve gasped.

“Wanted to surprise you,” Tony replied, his eyes flickering between Steve and the other.

“Well, consider me surprised! Um, this is my friend, Sam Wilson. Sam, this is Tony,” Steve introduced them to each other.

Sam crossed the room and held his hand out to Tony. He said, “It’s great to meet you, Steve’s told me all about you!”

Tony shook his hand and crooked his eyebrow and said, “I haven’t heard anything about you. Having an affair with _my_ Steve are you?”

Sam laughed, placing both hands on his hips, and Steve sputtered, spitting out the water from the water bottle he’d just taken a sip from. Tony purposely said “my” and Sam did not seem to notice but Steve did blush a little around his cheekbones.

There were many reasons Steve would not mention Sam to Tony but Tony’s mind immediately latched onto the worst case scenario: Steve was interested in Sam.

“I admit I am trying to get him into a more intimate relationship with the V.A.” Sam joked, shooting a knowing smile Steve’s way. The jealous blob in Tony’s stomach bubbled with molten lava and threatened to spew. Why was he smiling at Steve that way? And why did even his smile have to be big and perfect?!

Steve wiped the water off his lips and smirked at Sam but, as soon as he looked away, Steve stared at Tony with a scrutinizing gaze.

“So you were in the Army?” Tony asked, stupidly looking for more similarities to further prove Steve was compatible with Sam. His jealousy still burned in his gullet but his heart was growing cold. How could he have been so stupid? Pepper was right. Steve found someone else.

“Air Force,” Sam replied. “Pararescue.”

He was a soldier like Steve. His heart seized under the pressure of the cold dread.

“So you two met at the V.A.?” Tony asked. Tony didn’t even know Steve was attending V.A. meetings. What else did he not know about the super soldier?

“No, we both run around the capital,” Steve replied, speaking for the first time since he introduced Tony and Sam to each other. He placed his water on the counter and continued to smirk at Sam.

“This guy is a major troll,” Sam said, smiling fondly at Steve again. “We were running separately at first and Mr. Super Solider here said, ‘On your left’ every time he passed me. _Which was a lot_.”

“Just having fun,” Steve teased, leaning in across the counter, bringing himself closer to Sam.

So on top of running together, now they were flirting right in front of him. His jealousy was instantly extinguished as the frozen bits of his heart broke and fell heavily into his stomach.

Tony knew when to take a hint. He was too late.

“Well, sorry for the surprise visit, Steve…I…I was just in the area and poked my head in. I should probably go before Pep calls the authorities. I’ll see you later. It was nice to meet you, Sam,” Tony said, his voice was noticeably neutral but he could not help it. He feared the emotions that may show if he used any inflections in his voice.

“Yeah…Nice to meet you too,” Sam said and by the sound of his voice, Tony knew Sam noticed his change in tone.

Tony nodded to both of them one last time and hustled out of the apartment as quickly as he could without looking at either of them.

He just hit the button for the elevator when Steve caught up with him.

“Hey,” Steve murmured gently. He grasped Tony’s shoulder and asked, “Is everything alright?”

_No! You have a handsome soldier in your apartment! You’re going to leave me for someone younger, with an easy smile, and who is perfect for you! You’re going to replace our photo on your dresser for one of him and you!_

“Tony?”

“I’m fine,” Tony lied huskily. Where was the damn elevator?

Steve’s brows pinched together and he replied, “You’re lying.”

Tony chuckled darkly and said, “You know me too well.”

“What’s wrong?” Steve implored.

Tony gulped and looked up at Steve. His blue eyes were clouded with concern and his touch was tender and loving. Tony felt his eyes prickle at his loss. Why did he keep him at such a distance? Why did he let this happen? Tony gulped deeply and whispered, “We need to end this. No more fuck buddies. J-Just friends. Okay?”

Steve’s face blanked and his hold on Tony twitched. Steve whispered, “…W-Wha-What?”

“Us. I am calling an end to it,” Tony stated. He had to put an end to it. He wouldn’t let Steve stress about it because he would. He’d worry about hurting Tony or double think starting something with Sam. Tony was selfish but he wouldn’t take that from Steve…He deserved the best.

And Tony was so broken…he was anything but the best.

“Why?” Steve hissed, his eyes growing glassy eyed and his hold tighter.

Tony inhaled deeply, to steady his voice. Steve’s stipulations came to mind and Tony replied, “Remember those rules you gave me? I-I…I can’t…” Tony huffed and shook his head. He couldn’t say it.

How could he tell the man he loved he couldn’t be with him because he wouldn’t hold him back from falling in love with Sam?

Steve let go of Tony’s shoulder and guardedly asked, “You can’t what?”

The elevator doors opened and Tony scurried inside like the mouse he was. He turned to Steve, praying he’d stop the elevator, stop Tony, stop what was happening, but Steve merely stared at him. His expression was open and Tony could read the confusion and pain as plainly as a book.

Tony was too much of a coward to step forward and right it. It was done and Tony’s heart couldn’t take anymore.

“I’ll see you later, Cap,” he said with a shaky smile and the doors sealed between them, forever cutting him off from Steve and whatever romantic relationship they could have had.

\---

Steve walked back into his apartment in a daze.

He left the door unlocked so he entered the apartment without any hassle. He closed the door and fell back against it, too shell-shocked to venture any further.

“…Steve?”

Steve looked up and was shocked to see Sam. He had forgotten he was there.

“Are you alright?” Sam implored, looking worried.

Steve clutched at the door handle, wanting to rip it open and run after Tony. Instead, he replied, “N-No, no, I am far from alright.”

Tony broke up with him and he had haltingly told Steve it was because of the very rules Steve came up with. He ruled out the first two quickly neither had been affectionect in public nor had Steve's status been leaked to the press.

So it was glaringly obvious why Tony ended it...He wanted to be with someone else. 

“…What happened? Something with Tony? Is there anything I can do?” Sam gasped, stepping closer to Steve.

Steve shook his head and quickly said, “No, it-it’s personal and…complicated and I knew it was coming but I just thought…” Steve bit down on his lower lip but it still trembled. He thought and dreaded the fact that he had to eventually end it. But he wasn’t ready to yet. He still loved Tony and was going to try to fall out of love and was failing miserably at it but now…

“Steve,” Sam whispered with concern, grasping his shoulder.

Steve quickly wiped at his eyes and huskily said, “I’m sorry.” Sam instantly lightly rubbed his hunched shoulder and Steve’s eyes overflowed and he cupped his hand over his eyes to hide the tears from his friend. He repeated with a shuddering cry, “I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Time, Ch.11: Fugitives in Love


	11. Fugitives in Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Events from the Winter Solider are ahead! But lots of canon divergence as I play with timelines, plot, and the boys' emotions! :)

Tony locked himself in his lab with a bottle of bourbon and instructed Jarvis to block all incoming calls until he said otherwise. He drank into the night and woke up the next morning with an atrocious hangover. He swallowed a bunch of Advil and dove into his work on his next upgrade to busy himself in work.

He should have locked down the lab too.

“Tony!? What are you doing?? Have you not been watching the news!?” Pepper hissed as she stomped angrily into the lab. She spotted him and went straight to him. Yet, when he pulled back his goggles to look at her, her expression of annoyance melted away, only to be replaced with the upmost concern. She sat beside him and brushed his hair out of his face as she worriedly examined him.

“Tony, _God_ , what happened?” Pepper whispered, her grew face stark with worry and fear as she really looked at him and his bloodshot eyes.

Tony jerked his head out of her hold and looked down at the components he was working on and murmured. “Nothing, what’s wrong with the news?”

“Fury is dead,” Pepper gasped and Tony’s head shot back up to stare incredulously at her. She continued, “He was killed at Steve’s apartment.”

Tony shot to his feet and flight stabilizing chips, worth thousands of dollars, fell to the floor and shattered. Tony did not care as he exclaimed, “WHAT?! Where’s Steve!? Is he okay?!”

“I only know he’s been taken to SHIELD HQ,” Pepper replied and Tony hurried past Pepper to his suit.

“Tony?! What are you doing?”

“I am going to check in with my friend and make sure he’s okay!” Tony hissed as his suit molded around him.

“…Wait, ‘friend’? I thought…” Her voice dwindled as the truth dawned on her. Tony was grateful for the face shield sliding over his expression to hide from her scrutinizing gaze. She asked, “You two ended it? I thought you were going to…”

“I didn’t,” Tony muttered tersely. “I…I didn’t tell him…He found someone else. I was too late.”

“It can’t be possible,” Pepper whispered fiercely.

“I meet the new man, myself, Pep…I-I need to go,” Tony turned to the balcony but stopped when Pepper grabbed his arm and Tony turned to her.

“I don’t know what happened but don’t give up on him just yet. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He loves you! He wouldn’t have fallen out of love so easily. Promise me you’ll talk to him,” Pepper implored.

Tony shook his head. He felt utterly destroyed by this. How could Pepper ask him to worsen it?

“ _Promise_ ,” she hissed.

“Fine,” he growled. “Can I go now?”

Pepper let him go and Tony ran out to his balcony and took off in the direction of Washington D.C.

“Jarvis, give me an update on everything that has happened.”

\---

Tony double checked the tracker he put on Steve’s shield and saw he was indeed at HQ. So he flew right up to the glass doors of the Triskelion and ignored all of the warnings SHIELD relayed to him about his flight pattern. He was met by a dozen angry agents. He nodded to them and said, “I hear you have my boss here. He’s tall, blond, and in his nineties, probably here about social security benefits.”

“Captain Rogers is giving his report on the incident,” one of the agents explained gruffly. “If you will just check in, and maybe answer a few questions as well, then we can bring you to him once he is done.”

“Sure,” Tony said, already planning on barging in on wherever they were interrogating him. He would get past their security at the front desk and follow his tracker to Steve.

Most of the group broke off and only three were wordlessly elected to lead him. They led him past the glass doors he had landed in front of and escorted him to another corner of the building. They were leading him to wherever they wanted to question him most likely. Tony rolled his eyes but followed. He’d play along to get deeper into the building but once they stopped Tony would push on through.

He was a little apprehensive about seeing Steve so soon after their breakup…could it be categorized as a breakup? It certainly felt like one to Tony but they were never officially together. Would he call it a split? A meandering of ways? The end of cock on cock action? The possibilities were endless…and it just depressed him to think about.

Would Sam Wilson be waiting for Steve? Could he be waiting here already?….Was he with Steve when it happened?

Tony’s heart hurt a little at the thought but he pushed it aside as he was escorted into the building. They ended up in an empty service hallway and his escort came to a halt.

“Stark, we're going to have to have you exit the suit while you are on premises,” one of the agents advised him.

Tony huffed but he didn’t complain. Fury was dead. It would have been weird if SHIELD wasn’t a little antsy and hadn’t uped up their security. He stepped out of the suit and his bare feet touched cold tile. He should have put shoes on before he jumped in the suit. He repressed a shiver from the air conditioning hitting his thin shirt and nodded to his suit as he sarcastically asked, “Where shall I hang this-?”

The agent in front of him snapped his arm up and pointed his gun at Tony’s head with his safety off and his finger on the trigger. Grinning, the man hissed, “Hail Hydra.”

Tony had enough time to inhale sharply before Jarvis reacted to the breach in his personal security. Following the security protocols, the suit lifted its arm faster than Tony would have ever been able to do and delivered a sharp blast to the face of the man who was about to kill him.

The other two agents already had their guns up and fired at him. The suit grabbed him across his chest twisted Tony behind it while returning fire from the blasters. Tony hissed when a bullet clipped him just above his hip but the agents weren’t so lucky. All were wearing matching burns to their heads and chests from where Jarvis hit him.

“The cameras in this section have been purposely turned off,” Jarvis informed him. The suit let go of him and Jarvis inspected his wound. “Tissue damage only. No organ, bone, or vessel damage. I estimate three stiches needed.”

“Great, I’ll take care of that after I figure out what the hell just happened!” Tony exclaimed. “Open up! We need to find Steve!”

The suit opened and he jumped inside as Jarvis stated, “The agent mentioned the disbanded Nazi branch: Hydra.”

“I have a feeling they’re no longer disbanded, J,” Tony said grimly. “And Steve was responsible for their party’s downfall. Fuck, find me the fastest route to Steve!”

“The shield appears to be near the front of the building and going down st a fast pace. It is most likely in an elevator,” Jarvis supplied. Tony turned around and blasted through the doors the agents had just led him through.

“Steve better be with it,” Tony gritted through clenched teeth. He did not know what to think if he only found Steve’s shield. Steve never let out of sight. If need be, Tony knew he was able to tear down this entire building to find his friend.

Tony rounded the building, rising in the air as he did. On his screen, Jarvis projected the shield’s location on Tony’s screen with a red single dot and Tony murmured, “Zoom in.”

The screen expanded on the area, showing Steve’s familiar form and the flurry of bodies around him trying to bring him down in the main glass elevator.

Tony volleyed forward without a thought other than helping Steve.

Steve was handcuffed to the wall by a magnetic cuff and was pulling at it while fighting off over half a dozen men. An electric baton was jabbed into Steve’s side and his entire body tensed with pain. With a snarl, Tony broke into the elevator and took out half its occupants by slamming into them. He went straight for the man wielding the baton and smashed him into the wall. Tony grabbed him and knocked him into the wall a few more times until his body was flopping like a rag doll and only then did he drop him. He turned around to see Steve had used his distraction to tear the cuff off the wall and take care of the remaining men.

“Are you alright?” Tony gasped.

Steve embraced him in reply and Tony fell into his hold with a relieved sigh. He let his face shield up so he could press his face into Steve’s neck. His skin was damp with perspiration but Tony did not mind getting Steve’s sweat on him. Hell, he was more than happy to at this point.

“I near about had a heart attack when I saw them jab you with that baton,” Tony gasped as he pulled out of Steve’s hold. He wildly searched his body for any other injury.

“How did you know?” Steve asked.

“I came as soon as I heard about Fury,” Tony explained. “When I got here some agents delayed me, then led me down this dark corridor, and then got all cliché and tried to murder me in the shadows.”

Steve’s hold tightened on him as his eyes widened and he gasped, “What??”

“Apparently, your friends from Hydra are back,” Tony replied and Steve’s hold on him tightened even more.

“Are you sure?”

“The one holding the gun to my head said ‘Hail Hydra’ before he tried to kill me,” Tony murmured. Steve paled and cupped Tony’s jaw with one hand and ran his hand over his forehead, looking for injury.

Tony flushed from the nearness and stepped out of his hold and murmured, “I wasn’t shot, Rogers.”

Steve’s mouth thinned at his use of his last name. It was impersonal and felt strange on Tony's tongue. Steve cleared his throat and gruffly replied, “Yeah, sorry.” Steve’s eyes spanned around the elevator, taking in the fallen bodies and he sighed heavily.

Steve slipped past Tony and stepped sharply on the edge of his shield, kicking it up into his hands. He looked back to Tony and said, “Can I get a ride?”

\---

The flash drive Fury had entrusted to Steve was hidden at the hospital he had died in and they went there first. During the flight over, Steve told Tony how Fury broke into his place late last night and alluded that there were listening devices in his place and that there was something wrong at SHIELD before he’d been shot. Steve went after the assassin but was unable to catch him.

Tony was silent as he listened but did ask, “And Sam? Where is he?”

“Home, I guess,” Steve yelled over the wind. Why would he ask about Sam? Did he suspect he was a part of it?

He was instantly reminded of crying into Sam’s shoulder over the man who currently held him and flushed.

Sam had stayed with him until he could breathe and then stayed to talk him through it. Steve told him about his and Tony’s relationship through broken gasps and Sam did not judge either of them but told him to stay strong and not give up on him. Someone wanting to betray him would have turned tail and run at the first sign of tears.

Before Steve could ask if Tony suspected Sam, Tony dove sharply so they would be less likely to be noticed and landed them on the hospital’s roof.

Tony stepped out of the suit and said, “Look, you’re still in your uniform so-.”

“What happened?!” Steve demanded and interrupted. Tony’s right side was drenched in blood and it stood out starkly on his white shirt.

Tony glanced down and huffed, “Huh. I thought it was getting a little wet in there.” Looking back at Steve, Tony explained, “I just got clipped by a bullet.”

Steve gargled for a retort and tore Tony’s shirt up to look at the wound.

“Sir, by my calculations, you may need four stiches now,” Jarvis announced from the suit.

The cut was bleeding sluggishly and Steve put pressure on it. Tony hissed and Steve admonished, “You should have told me you were hurt!”

“I’ve had worse…and I had to get to you.”

Steve looked up at him. They weren't this close to each other physically since yesterday. Their eyes met and they both searched each other’s gazes. Steve had no idea what Tony was looking for but Steve was looking for the reason behind his words. Why did he risk himself for Steve? Was it more than friendship or comradery?

“Tell me where the flash drive is and I will get it,” Tony said. “I will look like just another patient. You are decked out in Captain America regalia. You’ll be recognized immediately.”

Steve didn’t want Tony out of his sight and he tightened his hold on Tony to nonverbally show his displeasure.

“Give me ten minutes and if I’m not back by then, then you can come in with all of your American Glory,” Tony said dryly, dislodging Steve's hand from his side.

“Fine,” Steve said and Tony grinned. Steve’s heart instantly swooned at the sight. How could he already be pinning for his smile? Steve bit his lip and added, “Tony?”

Tony cocked his head in question and Steve chickened out. He could brave everything Hydra had thrown at him but facing another rejection from Tony scared him to his core. Instead, he said, “Good luck.”

“Got it, Cap,” Tony said with a nod and ran over to the roof access. As soon as he disappeared behind the door, Steve began his ten minute countdown.

Steve paced the perimeter, always keeping the roof access within his sights. The Iron Man suit stood docile but Steve knew Jarvis was monitoring the area and keeping SHIELD off their trail electronically.

At eight and a half minutes, the door opened and Steve spun on his heel and went straight to it.

Tony came out and Steve let out a breath of relief.

That breath froze when he saw Natasha. Steve halted and fisted his hands. Nat was his friend but she was also SHIELD.

“We're all good, Cap,” Tony said, as if reading his mind. “She’s on our side and wants to bring down Fury’s assassin whether it is SHIELD or not. She even has information on the guy who shot Fury.”

Steve relaxed and asked, “Are we unofficially making this an Avengers’ mission?”

Natasha smirked and said, “I’ve got Clint on speed dial.”

“And I’ve got Bruce! Plus, give me a functioning computer and I will hack the shit out of this,” Tony said, holding up the flash drive.

“I actually already called Bruce to run and hide. He’s AWOL until this whole mess is settled,” Natasha stated. Tony frowned and Natasha reasoned, “Do you really want to go on the run with the Hulk? How do you think he’ll react in tense situations? We are all safer without him and Bruce agrees.”

Steve nodded and asked, “He’s secure?”

“I sent him to one of my safe houses, one SHIELD doesn’t know about,” Natasha replied. “But we aren’t secure here, Steve’s apartment isn’t, and the Tower is probably crawling with SHIELD agents right now. You two are fugitives wanted for questioning about Fury’s death. It’s all over the news and the only reason Tony didn’t get noticed was because of me.”

“Then where the heck are we going to go?”

Steve glanced down at Tony’s bleeding hip. The first thing he wanted to do was get it properly taken care of.

The answer came to him almost immediately.

\---

“Hey, Sam,” Steve said. “Can we come in?”

Sam blinked a few times then stepped back and said, “Yeah, yeah, come in!” As soon as all of them were in, Sam looked around outside and then closed the door.

“Tony is hurt. You had paramedic training, didn’t you? Do you think you could help him?”

“My suit is hiding in your shed and I also need a computer,” Tony grumbled, sounding miserable. Steve accounted it being hungry. Jarvis informed him Tony hadn’t eaten since yesterday morning, before he had…he’d spoken with Steve at his apartment. Merely thinking about it made his heart squeeze painfully.

“And we need some food,” Steve added.

“And we got another Avenger heading over, he’ll be here within the hour,” Natasha added, peeking out of the front window.

“Okay, Steve you know where the kitchen is. Grab some food. I will grab my laptop and my medkit. Tony, you clean that wound out the best you can in the kitchen at the sink. And Ma’am?”

“Natasha,” Natasha supplied.

“Yes…Natasha, I guess…keep doing what you’re doing,” Sam said.

Natasha smirked and nodded before looking out the window one last time and then slipping back out. She was probably going to do a perimeter sweep or meet up with Clint. Steve did not question her actions as he was more distracted by the man bleeding by his side.

Steve led Tony to the kitchen. He instantly opened the pantry and grabbed a bag of pretzels. He tossed it to Tony who caught it and looked at his questionably.

“Eat,” Steve commanded. “Jarvis told me how long you’ve been without proper nourishment.”

Tony rolled his eyes but he opened the bag and threw a handful in his mouth.

Steve turned on the water at the sink and turned it to hot. He opened a few drawers until he found some dish cloths. Choosing the most worn ones, he put them under the water and was surprised to see Tony watching him with a critical eye.

“Sit on the counter and take off your shirt,” Steve commanded.

Tony grumbled under his breath but followed his orders for once and pushed himself onto the counter with a hiss, “Ohhhhh, that opened it up more…”

Tony pressed his hand over his wound for a moment as if to stifle the pain and tossed aside his pretzels. Tony swiped any extra blood off his palms and then grabbed the back neck of his shirt and drew it over his head with one hand. He let the shirt fall from his fingers as he looked at his bloody hip. The slash was just above his hipbone and Steve noted the bullet had taken out a good chunk of flesh.

His eyes trailed to Tony’s abdominal muscles, where his fingers had trailed so often…and now will nevermore.

Once the cloths were soaked and the water hot enough, Steve used one to wash away the excess blood. Tony sat up straighter and gritted his teeth when the cloth touched his wound but he made no noise of complaint. When he was satisfied with it being cleaned enough, Steve pressed the other cloths into the wound and felt Tony’s muscles seize beneath him.

“Sorry,” Steve whispered.

“S’Alright,” Tony murmured, his hazel eyes found Steve’s blue and Steve suddenly realized how close he stood to Tony. He looked down and flushed when he saw he had automatically place himself between Tony’s legs and he’d even placed his other hand on Tony’s opposite hip.

His hands seized in surprise on Tony’s hips but he did not let him go. He gradually lifted his gaze and met Tony’s eyes.

“Why?” Steve whispered before he could stop himself. His voice sounded small and sad and nothing like it usually did but he didn’t notice it.

“Why what?” Tony deflected the question but, by the way he tensed beneath Steve’s fingers, he knew he knew exactly what Steve was asking.

“Why did you end our affair?” Steve spelled it out, his voice no more than a whisper.

Steve's heart knotted within itself as he braced himself for the worst. Tony was going to tell him about his new bedmate and Steve needed a brace face.

Tony dropped his gaze with a frown and murmured, “We shouldn’t get into this. Not when we are fugitives. Not when we are on the run. There shouldn’t be any conflict between us, especially since Sam seems to be joining up with us.”

“What does Sam have to do with this?”

“Sam has everything to do with this,” Tony stated, his frown growing deeper and his eyes adverted to the side.

“Why?”

“Because, _he is the reason, Steve_. He’s the reason I ended the affair. ”

Steve’s brows shot together and he asked, “Wha-? What do you-? Wait. _Sam_?”

“Yes, Sam…He-He would be good for you,” Tony stated looking off to the side.

Steve’s mouth flapped like a fish as he struggled for the words. Tony’s reasoning was incredulous and flawed and…and Tony wasn't having another affair.

He thought Steve was and...and Steve just laughed.

Tony’s head snapped back to Steve and he glared at him. He hissed, “This isn’t funny.”

“No,” Steve chuckled. “No, it isn’t because you ended our affair because you thought my straight friend, _with a girlfriend_ , would be a good boyfriend to me.” He stopped laughing and caressed Tony’s hipbones with his thumbs. Smiling sadly as he stared at the arc reactor, Steve whispered, “It’s funny because I told you I loved you only a couple of weeks ago and haven’t stopped saying it in my head since then, even though…even though I know there was no chance of you loving me back.” Steve sighed, his breath hitching pathetically as he did. Since he was clearly, stupidly showing that he still pinned after Tony, Steve said, “You can laugh at me now…”

Tony lifted Steve’s chin and Steve peered up at him with glassy eyes. God, he loved him so much. Why couldn’t -?

Tony leaned in and kissed him before he could complete the thought.

Steve inhaled sharply from his surprise but he quickly returned the kiss.

It was light and sweet at first. Steve tightened his hold on Tony’s hips and pressed himself into Tony’s chest. The older man wrapped his arms around Steve’s head and did the same with his legs around his waist. Their kiss deepened and Tony keened needingly into his mouth.

Steve kept his one hand on the compress but he used his other hand to angle Tony’s head back to have more access to his mouth. Neither of them could breathe so they broke away sharply when their lungs could no longer take it.

They separated only centimeters to catch their breaths and stared into each other’s eyes. Steve grasped Tony’s cheek, his heart full and near to bursting from happiness and sorrow and he whispered with a yearning voice, “ _I love you_.”

He thought Tony would push him away again but he had to make Tony realize that Steve wasn’t going to deny it anymore. And if Tony could not handle that…

“Me too,” Tony moaned back and Steve jolted as if electrified. He jerked back to peer fully into Tony’s eyes and stared incredulously at Tony. Tony cupped Steve’s face with both of his hands and whispered in a broken voice, “I-I love you too. I-I-I love you, Steve. That’s why I came to your apartment, to tell you, but when I saw Sam, I just thought-.”

“You love me?” Steve hissed in disbelief. The broken bits of his heart healed at a rapid rate and he began to breathe more shallowly.

“Yes,” Tony whispered. His hazel eyes were searching his, worried and anxious about Steve could only guess why. “I love yo-.”

Steve smothered Tony’s mouth before he could finish the statement. He broke away to inhale a sharp breath. His chest felt so tight and constricted, like he was being crushed by the wave of happiness that suddenly surged upon him.

He fluttered kisses all over Tony’s face, kissing the sides of his mouth, his nose, his cheeks, his eyelids, every square inch of his face. Worshiping him. Loving him. Meanwhile, Tony continued to whisper, “I love you, Steve. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I love you so much. I want to be with you. I don’t want to be casual anymore. _Dammit, I love you so much_.”

“Yes,” Steve gasped and claimed his lips again. This was everything he wanted. Tony loved him too and Steve was so happy he couldn’t break his smile even as he kissed the man he loved. He gasped, “Say it again.”

Tony paused in kissing him and looked him dead in the eyed and seriously stated, “I love you, Steve Rogers.”

Steve pushed Tony back against the counter and drew out his hips over the edge so they could remain connected. He held up his ass with his hands and kneaded it through his jeans. Steve thrust his hips flush against Tony’s and elicited a moan from him.

“Ughhhhhhhhhh.”

He and Tony froze and then simultaneously looked up. From his position, hovering over where Tony lay on the counter, he could easily see Sam standing in the living room. Steve’s friend’s cheeks were burnished red and he awkwardly held a laptop and his medkit.

“So I was going to apologize for taking so long, had to – uh – dig my medkit out of storage but it looks like you two didn’t mind…”

Steve slowly pushed Tony’s bottom back onto the counter and helped him sit up. He cleared his throat and said, “Sorry…Tony and I…Well…”

“No need to explain, I think I heard enough to get the gist of what’s happening,” Sam chuckled. He held up the articles in his arms and said, “You ready to start or do you want me to leave you guys alone for another ten minutes?”

Steve flushed and Tony laughed.

“I’ll take the laptop,” Tony offered. Sam crossed the room and handed it over with a relieved sigh. Steve went to get out of Sam’s way but Tony grasped his arm and pulled him in. they shared one more quick kiss and Tony reminded him, “I love you, Steve.”

Steve smiled happily at his friend, lover, and the man who was mutually in love with and caressed the side of Tony’s face. Gazing into his warm eyes, Steve whispered, “And I love you, Tony.”

Tony grinned like Steve had never seen before, looking so happy, young, and carefree.

They were both fugitives and were being hunted by the government but, at that moment, Steve never felt happier in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Time, Ch. 12: "Shot through the Heart and You're to Blame. You give Love a Bad Name."
> 
> Hmmm, is the next chapter a chance to reveal my love of classic rock or does it contain a literal or figurative clue? Hehehehehe


	12. “Shot through the Heart and You’re to Blame. You give Love a Bad Name.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for the delay! I took an impromptu, mini road trip with my friends and fell behind in my writing because of it! BUT you get a much larger chapter than usual and its only a few days late so win-win? 
> 
> Also, I am predicting two more chapters! GAH! Almost done!
> 
> And, as with the last chapter, more events from The Winter Soldier here but there is a lot of canon divergence as I will continue to play with timelines, plot, characters, and the boys' emotions! :D

Tony didn’t make a noise as Sam stitched him up but he did hold Steve’s hand tightly with one hand and worked on the laptop with the other. Steve stroked the hand in his hold with his thumb and, whenever their eyes happened to meet, Steve smiled at him. Each time he saw that smile, Tony’s entire body flushed with endorphins. Yup, he was head-over-heels in love.

With his other hand, Tony was unlocking all the secrets the flash drive had to hide, hacking SHIELD with Sam’s laptop, and making it look like the hack was coming from a small library in southern Maine. He wished for his holloscreens but made due with Sam’s outdated laptop and kept most of his grumbling about lack of a touchscreen to a minimum.

Clint and Natasha slipped in just as Sam was packing up his kit.

Clint strolled in, pulling his arrows off his back, and said, “Even with all the stupid things I have done, I have never managed to get on SHIELD’s shit list so kudos to all of you.”

Tony rolled his eyes and said, “Thanks, man.”

Grinning cheekily, Clint replied, “No problem.” He sat at one of the barstools on the opposite side of the counter and Natasha positioned herself by the curtained off window in the living room. Turning to Steve, Clint asked, “So what’s the plan now, Cap?”

Tony slid off the counter beside Steve and said, “We are going to take a trip.” Steve handed him one of Sam’s shirts and he slipped it on over his head. No longer half naked, Tony turned the laptop around to face everyone and said, “We’ve got a location. The flash drive is directing me to this signal coming out of New Jersey. Which, is not a good hiding spot for Hydra or this Winter Soldier character. I mean _New Jersey_?? What were they thinking?!”

“We don’t know if this signal is Hydra or the Soldier,” Steve stated.

“And who was it who killed Fury and tried to kill us for this flash drive?” Tony countered with a smirk.

“Please say we are going to be fighting Nazi zombies,” Clint gasped excitedly.

Before Steve could break the archer’s heart, Tony leaned in and said, “This may very well be zombie ground zero.”

Clint pumped his fist and exclaimed, “YES!”

\---

The flash drive did not lead them to Nazi zombies, but, it did lead them into the Nazi/Hydra equivalent of Skynet which Tony thought was pretty awesome. Until Zola, a Terminator-wannabe, tried to kill them. But then again, the 90s-animated supercomputer lived up to its super villain persona and told them its evil plan before trying to kill them.

It was Skynet themed again about not being able to trust humanity with its own freedom, blah, blah. Same old story except this time his boyfriend’s ex-ultimate enemy was behind it.

Tony smirk privately to himself upon that last thought.

He could get used to calling Steve his boyfriend.

He glanced at said man beside him. He’d been tense ever since they left the base. Tony could distract him for a moment…

“Boyfriend,” Tony stated loudly. He, Steve, Natasha, and Clint were in a car Steve had “borrowed” for them. Natasha was driving them back to Sam’s, Clint sat next to her up front, and Tony sat next to Steve in the backseat.

Steve glanced at him, a cute flush staining his cheeks as he did, and he asked, “Y-Yes?”

With a smirk, Tony murmured, “I love you.”

Steve grinned and grasped his hand as he whispered, “I love you too.”

“I am going to gag up my breakfast if this love-dovey routine continues,” Clint groaned to Natasha.

Natasha elbowed him and admonished, “It’s sweet. Don’t say anything that can ruin all of my hard work.”

Smirking, Tony leaned into Steve and Steve lay his head on top of his. Just as Tony was beginning to feel a little dozy from the car ride, Steve whispered, “So we’re really dating now? We’re really not just doing this on the side anymore?”

“…If that’s fine by you?” Tony had just assumed…

“More than fine,” Steve replied before Tony could overthink Steve’s question. Steve even kissed the top of his head for good measure and Tony grinned so widely his cheeks hurt.

“Glad to hear that, Honey-Pie,” Tony replied, testing out the pet name, mostly to annoy Clint.

“I’m glad you are glad, my Darling,” Steve replied and his smirk told Tony Steve knew exactly who he was trying to annoy and he was joining in. Tony grinned at him. He loved Steve’s spunky side. Hell, who was he kidding? He loved everything about his Honey-Pie.

Better yet, this meant war.

“You make me happy, Light of my Life,” Tony sighed dramatically.

“As do you, my Heart’s Desire,” Steve countered smoothly.

“Oh, that’s a good one, Stud Muffin.”

Steve bit down on his lip to hold back his laughter and took a deep breath as he said, “Where did you come up with that one, Baby Doll?”

Clint turned up the music and groaned, “I think they are intentionally trying to smother me with all of this fluff.”

They laughed and Tony wrapped his arm around Steve’s waist and closed his eyes. It was going to take at least an hour to get back to Sam’s with the traffic. They had a lot of planning to do to foil Hydra’s plans but…in that one hour Tony decided he was going to take a chance to relax in the arms of the man he loved and take comfort in the fact that, for the first time in his life, he was going to be happy.

\---

After regrouping with Sam and changing Tony’s bandages, they decided their best bet for more information needed to come from Hydra itself.

Which was how Steve ended up on top of a building holding the Hydra operative, Sitwell, over the edge and then letting Natasha kick him off.

“Oh, nice form. I give that a nine,” Clint murmured.

“A nine?” Natasha scoffed.

“Fine, fine, a ten, but only cause I like you,” Clint replied with a chuckle.

As Steve laughed, both Sam and Tony came flying up over the edge. Sam was the one who ended up catching Sitwell and tossed him back onto the roof. He too landed and his wings folded back into his pack.

As Tony landed, he said, “Sam, would it be weird if I confess I am near drooling at the fluidity of your flight patterns.”

“Yes, because it sounds like you are weirdly flirting with me and your boyfriend is standing only five feet away from me.”

“Steve, I am drooling over your friend’s tech. As soon as he takes it off, me and those wings are eloping.”

Steve rolled his eyes and said, “Let’s focus on the mission, guys.” He turned to Sitwell and asked, “Who do you want to kick you off the roof next? Clint? Tony? Sam? Or maybe I’ll take a whack at it?”

“Zola’s algorithm is a program! For choosing targets!” Sitwell gasped.

“What targets?” Steve demanded.

“ _You_ , well, _all of you_ , the Secretary of Defense, some high school valedictorian in Ohio city, Bruce Banner, Steven Strange, just anyone who’s a threat to Hydra! Now or in the future.”

“The future, how could it know?” Steve gasped.

“Fuck,” Tony cursed, stepping beside Steve. “How could it not know? With the right access, one could know about anyone through social media and internet databases.”

“Yes, through that and bank records, medical history, voting patterns, emails, phone calls, your damn SAT scores: Zola’s algorithm evaluates people’s pasts to predict their future,” Sitwell stated and shakily got to his feet.

“What then?” Steve asked. “Why would Hydra want to know all of that?”

“Eliminate the problem,” Clint murmured darkly and it all clicked to Steve. Dear God. Would Hydra really kill all those people based off the results of a computer program?

“Yes, with the helicarriers,” Sitwell gasped. He gulped and hissed under his breath, “Oh, God, Pierce is going to kill me.”

Steve grabbed Sitwell’s shoulder and hissed to the others, “We’ve got to get out of here but we need to take him with us. He can get us into Hydra.”

The others nodded and Natasha grabbed Sitwell’s other arm and they propelled him to the roof access door with Cling bringing up the rear. Sam and Tony took off, going to straight to their getaway car.

They both were sitting in the van waiting for them. Sam was in the driver’s seat and Tony was furiously tapping away on his laptop. Both of their tech armor was tucked away in the back where no one could see it as they drove.

As soon as everyone was in the vehicle, Sam pressed the gas to the metal and they took off.

Natasha put her arm over Sitwell’s shoulder and said, “You are going to tell us everything you know about Hydra and when Zola’s program is going into effect.”

Clint, from his space in the back of the van said, “And when she says everything, she means everything. We even want to know what Pierce likes in his coffee.”

“But first the program,” Natasha retorted dryly.

Sitwell haltingly began to review his intel. Sitting beside Natasha, Steve was able to hear him clearly but he glanced in the front to see what Tony was working on. All he saw was code on the laptop screen and he couldn’t make heads or tails of it.

Sam was wordlessly driving them out of the city and to an empty warehouse Natasha suggested for them to get all they could out of Sitwell and then form a plan of attack.

En route, however, their plans got rewritten.

There was a loud thumping sound on the roof of the van and then the window broke by Sitwell and he was gone in an instant.

Natasha instantly drew her pistol and shot at the ceiling. Fire was returned and Clint pushed Steve aside to avoid being hit by the bullets. Natasha did the same for the men in the front and kept firing until she emptied her clip.

The windshield imploded as a metal arm broke through it and robbed their car of its steering wheel. Sam instantly slammed on the breaks and a figure was thrown from their car.

As soon as the car screeched to a halt, Tony gasped, “I think I pissed myself.” He was holding onto the car with a white knuckle grip. His laptop was forgotten with a bullet hole smoke inhalation the screen.

“That's the Winter Soldier,” Natasha informed them all grimly but Steve recognized Fury’s killer as soon as he stood.

“One against five. We can take him,” Clint said, pulling his bow off his shoulder.

As if the fates were listening, the van jerked violently forward as they were hit from behind. Everyone was pitched forward and Steve instinctively reached out to Tony. He wrapped an arm around his chest, acting as a human seatbelt.

The Soldier had to jump over the car as it came careening toward him.

They lurched to a stop and Steve gasped, “Is everyone okay?” He was instantly patting Tony down, searching for any injury.

The team grumbled their conditions and all were fine. Tony even swatted away his hands and said, “I'm alright, Cap.” Behind them an army of mercenaries was melting out of the traffic and Tony ordered, “J, get us out of here!”

The Iron Man suit unfolded in the hatchback and broke out of the back window. It picked up the vehicle and the Hydra agents instantly started shooting at them.

The last thing Steve saw was the Winter Soldier standing at the forefront of the group. Most of his fire was directed at the Iron Man suit and the man's eyes narrowed with displeasure as his bullets bounced off the armored suit.

The Winter Soldier dropped his gun and held out his hand. A grenade launcher that was placed in his grasp and Steve gasped, “Tony!”

He launched a grenade at them but it exploded before it reached its target.

Tony explained, “Jarvis launched the flares to prematurely activate the grenade.”

They flew higher into the air and far from the scene below. After flying for several minutes, Steve let his muscles relax and fell back onto his seat, gasping, “That was close.”

“…Alright, now what?” Clint murmured.

\---

Steve separated himself from the others and positioned himself facing the sunset.

He recognized Tony’s light steps as he approached him. He paused by Steve’s side and wrapped an arm around his waist. They leaned into each other and Steve whispered what was on his mind, “How do we take down those three helicarriers before they kill us or any innocents?”

“We’ll find a way,” Tony murmured, his hand rubbed comfortingly at Steve’s hip. He whispered, “Come – Stop brooding.”

Steve smirked at his boyfriend and whispered, “Wait, stay with me a while. We haven’t been alone since…well since-.”

“You tried to fuck me into Sam’s counter?” Tony supplied dryly.

Steve chuckled and leaned heavily into Tony’s side. He whispered, “I wish we could get some real alone time…”

“Up for a quick romp in the woods?” Tony said, nodding to the heavily condensed forest behind them.

“It would be very subtle,” Steve scoffed. “The others would not miss our absence at all.”

Tony stepped in front of him and trailed his hand up Steve’s torso, his fingers tugging at the buttons of his shirt as his hand went up. He leaned in and whispered, “I bet my tongue can undue you in five minutes or less.”

Steve flushed and said, “Don’t tempt me.”

Tony laughed and Steve smiled sweetly at him. He murmured, “I love your laugh.”

Tony chuckled and said, “You are such a sap.”

Steve leaned in and teased, “And you love it.”

“I love everything about you,” Tony whispered, crossing his arms behind Steve’s neck. Steve drew his arms around Tony’s back and kissed him.

Their lips met with familiarity and Tony’s chuckles dwindled to soft pants. Tony tasted like the readymade vanilla Frappuccino he had snagged from Sam’s fridge earlier that morning. Steve smirked and whispered into his lips, “How many Frappuccinos did you take?”

“All of them.”

“Please don’t tell me that’s all you’ve been consuming today,” Steve sighed, pressing his forehead to Tony’s.

“Alright, I won’t,” Tony said flippantly and pressed another kiss into his mouth.

It was another thing Steve was going to have to add to his list of ever growing problems. Feeding his boyfriend while on the run.

“Hey, guys!” Steve and Tony both turned to the sound of Natasha’s voice but kept their arms wrapped around each other.

Natasha strolled up to them and said, “Listen, I think there’s someone who could help us.”

“Someone we can trust?” Steve murmured. Was Thor back from Asgard?

Natasha cleared her throat and held up a cell phone.

Tony went ridged in his arms and hissed, “ _Nat_! Hydra could be tracking that right now! How long have you had it?!”

“It’s a burner phone. SHIELD doesn’t know about it so Hydra doesn’t know about it. Only two know the number. Clint is one and the other just called me.” Natasha held out the phone to Steve and said, “He’s on the line right now and you need to talk to him.”

Steve gently slipped himself out of Tony’s hold and exchanged incredulous glances with him. He took the phone from Natasha and brought it up to his ear.

“Hello?” Steve whispered.

“It’s good to hear your voice, Cap.”

Steve’s eyes widened and he stared at Natasha in shock. Steve’s heart began to beat furiously in his chest and he blindly reached for Tony’s hand.

\---

They used the van, toted by Iron Man, to fly to the hidden location.

Steve was the first out of the van and he ran to the entrance to the secret facility where the two stood.

Steve ignored Agent Hill and ran straight to Coulson and embraced his friend tightly.

Coulson returned the embrace and murmured, “Sorry, Cap.”

Clint was right behind Steve and hit them with enough force to make both of them stager. Clint wrapped his arms around both of them and buried his face into Coulson’s shoulder.

With an unsteady voice, Clint gasped, “You would not believe how unbelievably happy I am to see you right now.”

Coulson put a hand on top of Clint’s and murmured, “I’m glad to see you too, Barton.”

Clint drew away and hissed, “You should have told me! And don't give me any of that level seven bull! You are my handler! You…You were - I thought I was responsible for your death.”

Coulson’s brows pinched together and he cupped Clint’s face. With a pained voice, Steve had never heard from the usually calm agent, Coulson gasped, “I'm sorry, son.”

Clint leapt onto Coulson again, only this time Steve stepped away to let them have their moment.

“How??” Tony gasped.

“He’s not the only miracle,” Agent Hill announced. “Come in, we have a lot to discuss.”

They followed Hill in with Coulson surrounded on all sides by his Avengers compatriots. Steve couldn’t stop looking at him and he was so happy he felt near to tears.

They passed about a dozen haggard looking SHIELD agents working at monitors and Hill informed them they all could be trusted. Steve nodded but still cast a wary eye over the busily working group.

Hill brought them into a private room and Steve halted at the door as soon as he saw the figure in the bed.

“About damn time,” Fury grumbled as soon as they all stepped into the room. Steve didn’t run up to the man and hug him but he smiled widely at his commander and he felt like he was walking on air. Coulson and Fury were alive. How was all of this possible?

They all gathered around Fury and listened to his explanation on how he had survived using a serum developed to calm Bruce down when he Hulked. Coulson was vaguer, mumbling something about Tahiti but he mostly evaded the subject and Steve could see he was uncomfortable talking about it so he did not press.

Hill brought over chairs so they could all sit down as they began to discuss what to do about Pierce and Hydra. Tony automatically shifted his chair next to Steve’s and leaned into him. Steve wrapped his arm over his shoulder. Their public display of affection did not go unnoticed and the SHIELD agents all eyed them curiously but did not ask anything. Steve couldn’t help but wonder if they already knew about their affair and had known since they stared sleeping with each other.

Eventually, they formed a plan and called it a night. The base had separate rooms and Steve and Tony gravitated to one together without question.

Tony collapsed on the bed with a sigh and turned over to grin mischievously at Steve.

“Alone at last,” Tony said with a content stretch and then yawned loudly.

Steve kicked off his shoes and pulled his shirt over his head. He sighed, “It feels like years since we last were alone.”

Tony toed off his shoes over the edge of the bed as Steve undid his pants and let them fall to the floor. He was about to join Tony in the bed when the other murmured, “Help me out of my pants? I don’t want to stand up, this bed is _heaven_.”

Steve wordlessly grasped the clasp to Tony’s jeans and then dragged him closer to the edge. Tony laughed as Steve drew him nearer but then he bit down on his lips as Steve bent down and lightly kissed the exposed skin just below his navel.

Tony threaded his hands through Steve’s hair as he opened his jeans and kissed lower.

“I-I don’t have any lube,” Tony stuttered. Steve didn’t either and he hadn’t been planning to do this until Tony asked him to touch him in such a sultry voice.

Steve pulled Tony’s jeans down to his knees and nibbled at the flesh just above the waistband to his boxers. His chest was pressed into Tony’s waist and he could feel him hardening beneath him.

“I don’t need lube for what I’m going to do to you,” Steve murmured heatedly in promise.

“Where have you been all my life?” Tony groaned.

Steve trailed his kisses upward as he replied, “Frozen mostly. Dead to the world until…” He paused in his kissing and leveled himself with Tony so he could look at him properly in the eyes. He whispered, “I was dead inside until I met you. You saved me, Tony.”

Tony cupped his face and he whispered, “You saved me too. If you hadn’t shown up, I would probably still be in my lab either drinking or avoiding people…You brought me out of my shell.”

Steve grinned and kissed him as his heart soared from joy. Tony grabbed his arms tightly, as if he were afraid he’d float away, and Steve wound his arms around him to anchor himself to him. Steve pressed his hips into Tony and the man’s hands instantly shot to Steve’s rear-end and his fingers were quick to divulge Steve of his underwear and knead the muscle beneath.

Steve was quick to escape his underwear and help Tony out of his. He then pressed Tony back down onto the bed and traveled down Tony’s body to stay true to his promise. He took Tony in his mouth and had him orgasm into it.

Steve eventually collapsed on top of Tony with his head nestled on his stomach and he fell asleep there with Tony gently carding his fingers through his hair.

It was absolute bliss.

\---

Tony woke to Steve pushing himself up. Tony blinked away the blur and met Steve’s gaze. Steve grinned sheepishly at him and whispered, “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“Don’t tell me you are going to go on a run,” Tony murmured, stretching his arms over his head. He wrapped his arms behind the pillow beneath his head and adjusted the cushion to a more comfortable position.

“No, I was just going to check in with the others and see if there was anything more I could do before we go.”

“There’s nothing to do until action is needed. The chips are ready. They just need to be put into the helicarriers and then they’re going down.”

“I know…I’m just restless,” Steve said with a sigh. He leaned onto his arm, his feet dangling over the edge of the bed.

“By all means, use that restless energy on me, Cap,” Tony flirted. Steve grinned and slid closer to him. Hook, line, and sinker. Tony Jr. was beginning to stir beneath the sheets. Steve bent down and lightly kissed Tony, his lips gently caressing Tony’s lips in the way that made Tony crazy.

Someone knocked on their door before either of them had a chance to use any tongue. Tony groaned with frustration as Steve sat up sharply.

“Yes?” Steve called out.

“Sun’s up! We’re moving out in an hour!” Clint announced.

“Alright, go away!” Tony replied. He grabbed Steve and pulled him back on top of him. “If you leave me hanging now I will be miserable the rest of the day.”

Steve laughed but went back to kissing him and pressed his body into Tony’s, rocking his hips, and kneading Tony’s muscles with his hands. Tony all but melted under the touch.

All the while, Steve whispered, “I love you, Tony – I love you – _I love you_.”

The first time Steve had uttered those words to him, Tony felt scared and had pushed Steve away. Now it made him undeniably happy and feel secure about his place in the world. Steve truly loved him. All of him. Tony and Iron Man. How could he be so lucky?

\---

Jarvis ran a quick diagnostic to double check the suit’s systems and then gave him the green light. Steve stepped up to them in the meantime and his gaze spanned the gathered group.

“Here’s the plan,” he stated. “We’re going to split into three teams. Natasha and Clint. Sam and Coulson. And Tony and I. Hopefully, we will get to the carriers while they are down but if they go airborne, Sam and Tony can fly us out and Clint can use one of his grappling arrows to get the two of you out before the helicarriers go down. These chips need to go into the motherboard in all three helicarriers or this mission is lost. Are we all ready?”

“As we’ll ever be,” Sam replied with a shrug.

Steve nodded and looked to Tony, “Ready?”

Tony grinned and closed his faceplate. He announced, “They don’t stand a chance.”

In his mind, they had already won. He already saw himself reclaiming the Tower and making love with Steve in their home. They’d be safe and happy.

He would have never been able to picture what actually happened.

The helicarriers were in the air and he and Sam teamed together to get Natasha and Clint into the first helicarrier and then they split to get the other two with their respective partners in tow. Steve was secure in his grip and Coulson was latched tightly to Sam.

Steve and Tony flew to the helicarrier without exchanging a single word.

They got in easily enough but that was where things started going downhill.

The Winter Soldier was waiting for them. He was blocking the way to the mainframe.

His mask was gone and Tony knew he somehow recognized him but he just assumed he was another undercover Hydra agent who had once posed as a SHIELD agent.

But the real reason became apparent when Steve’s eyes fell on the man.

“Bucky?” Steve gasped, his voice layered with pain and hope.

Instantly, old black and white photos and the dozens of images Steve had sketched came to mind and dread coiled in Tony’s throat.

“Who the hell is Bucky?” The Solider asked with narrowed eyes.

“That can’t be Barnes, Steve,” Tony reasoned. “He’s dead! You saw him die with your own eyes!”

Steve took a step toward the Winter Solider and hissed, “That is Bucky! I know my best friend!” To the Solider, Steve said, “Bucky? It’s me, do you remember me?”

The Soldier narrowed his eyes and then his arm swung up and he shot at them. Steve instantly raised his shield and blocked the bullets from hitting either of them.

“I think that answers your question about him remembering you,” Tony murmured ironically.

“You put in the chip and I will preoccupy him,” Steve hissed. He charged forward with a determined expression on his face and Tony’s heart went out to him. He couldn’t imagine what was going through Steve’s head right now. What if this was really his long-lost friend?

He pushed the thoughts aside and went to follow through on Steve’s orders. He rose above the struggling pair and flew over to the motherboard of the helicarrier. He took the chip out of a compartment on his arm and zeroed in on the chip it needed to replace.

The Winter Solider saw what he was doing and pushed Steve back to give himself enough room to swing up his arm and fire at Tony. Tony made no move to dodge because he expected the bullets to bounce off his armor like the last time the Soldier had fired at his suit.

He didn’t factor in the fact that there was a reason this assassin was so renowned.

As the bullets pierced his armor, Tony’s first thoughts were on his own stupidity and admiration for the Soldier. The man was fighting with armor piercing rounds. The only thing that could stop such bullets was Vibranium or Adamantium.

The few seconds of shock passed and then all he could fathom was pain.

He made a noise that was a combination of a startled gasp and a stifled scream. Unsurprisingly, the clip slipped out of his grasp and he crashed down to the level below.

“TONY?!” Steve screamed and the Winter Soldier used the distraction to hit him across the head with his gun and then point the weapon at Steve. Steve knocked the gun out of his hand with his shield and the two started to exchange wild punches and kicks. Steve was getting beaten badly as he kept looking down at Tony.

“Sir, the suit has been compromised in areas four, eight, and nine,” Jarvis quickly informed him. “You were hit in the Vastus Lateralis muscle of your upper thigh. And, by the trajectory of the other bullets, I assume your liver has been pierced as well as your right lung. You will be experiencing chest pain and breathing problems. You need to put something over the both wounds in your torso, especially your chest wound or air will get into your chest cavity and your lungs will no longer be able to expand.”

Jarvis wasn’t kidding about the chest pains. It felt like Steve had pulled him into one of his tight hugs and forgot to check his strength and just wouldn’t let go. He rolled onto his back, gasping from the effort, and wildly searched for Steve. He was still on the bridge and struggling with the Winter Soldier but was noticeably distracted as he kept looking in Tony’s direction.

With a painful hiss, Tony forced himself to sit up. His muscles protested at the movement and all of his wounds felt ten times more painful. He was gasping for breath and he whispered, “Jarvis, amplify my voice for a moment…I’m fine, Steve!” Tony said, his voice louder thanks to Jarvis. “Keep that guy off me! I’ve got to put in the chip!” Steve nodded, though he was clearly clenching his jaw in upset, and focused his attention back on the Soldier. Tony scanned the area and asked, “Where’s the chip, J?”

“Sir, you must put a compress on your chest now. If you do not, you will suffocate within the next ten to twenty minutes,” Jarvis replied sharply.

Tony gritted his teeth and said, “If I exit this suit, I am going to collapse and I don’t have anything to compress with as it is! Where is the chip??”

“Ten feet behind you,” Jarvis replied. “If you cannot compress it then another option is to sear it shut.”

Tony’s stomach rolled at the thought but he whispered, “Okay, you take control of my arm though, I won’t be able to do it myself.”

“Yes, Sir,” Jarvis replied and Iron Man’s arm lifted and pointed its repulsor at the bullet wound in his chest. Tony bit down on his lip and Jarvis fired a blast from the repulsor. Tony strangled his immediate scream in his throat so Steve wouldn’t hear it.

He felt half delusional with pain but he forced himself to focus on the chip. If he didn't put it in then he, Steve, and a lot of innocent people were going to die.

Tony stumbled to his feet and grabbed the chip, scrapping his fingers against the glass beneath him.

Above him, Steve and the Soldier continued fight and his boyfriend was begging the other man to stop. He kept calling the Soldier “Bucky” and was enraging the Soldier, making him fight more fiercely.

Tony blasted to the motherboard and he heard the fight behind him intensify as the Soldier tried to get to him. He opened the console and tore out one of the chips and slammed the one Hill gave him in.

“It’s in!” Tony yelled over the communicator.

“Ok, Wilson and Coulson have yet to put theirs in. Get out of there now. I’m going to have to let it go as soon as the last one is in!”

“Alright,” Tony gasped and turned to Steve.

The Soldier had gotten a hold of Steve by the neck from behind and, when Tony faced them, the assassin flipped a knife in his hand and plunged it into Steve’s shoulder. Steve yelled out and then swung his shield back to knock the Soldier off him and dislodge the knife.

Tony’s heart leapt into his throat and it remained lodged there as he lifted both his hands and pointed them at the Soldier. His repulsors whined loudly as he charged them as quickly as possible to full power.

Steve was struggling with the Soldier and Tony couldn't fire at him without risk of hitting him.

“Move, Steve!” Tony wheezed.

“Don't kill him, Tony!” Steve gasped, pushing the Solider back. Steve could hear the whine of his repulsors, he knew Tony had them at full blast and they could be fatal. Steve gasped, “I've got this! I don't want to hurt him!” To the Soldier, Steve gasped, “I'm here for you, Buck!”

“SHUT UP!” The Soldier screamed and punched Steve across the jaw. He went for Steve’s throat but Steve elbowed him in the throat and the Soldier staggered back.

“He's trying to kill you!” Tony growled and stalked closer.

The Soldier glared at Tony and then pushed Steve back and charged toward Tony. Steve grabbed the man by his legs and pulled him to the ground with him.

The Soldier spun in his hold and started punching him again. Steve put up little to no resistance. The Soldier was going to freaking kill Steve.

Enraged, Tony pulled him off Steve and screamed, “Get your filthy hands off him!”

Tony raised his hand and pointed his repulsor at the monster’s head. There was no way this was Steve’s friend. Steve said they were so close that they were like brothers. A brother wouldn’t do this. It was an android or a clone and Tony was going to destroy it before it destroyed Steve.

“TONY!” Steve screamed. “TONY NO!”

Tony blasted his repulsor just as Steve ripped the man from his hold. Steve jerked as he took the full brunt of Tony’s repulsors at close range. The energy of the repulsor blasted through Steve’s chest, cutting straight through him.

Steve’s blue eyes were wide with shock as he stared at Tony and he inhaled with a strangled effort but the air seemed incapable of entering his smoking chest.

“Steve?” Tony whispered, unable to fathom what he did to his boyfriend just yet. He stared back at Steve's face, refusing to look down and see the horror he created.

Steve reached out to him but fell before he could make contact. His shield fell from his grasp and clanged loudly as it fell to the level below.

“Steve!” Tony hissed, the sound of the shield breaking the glass broke him out of his shock. He moved with Steve as he fell and worriedly touched him. “ _Steve_!?”

Steve was struggling to breath and the hole in his chest was smoking.

“Jarvis?? How do I help him?!?!” Tony demanded.

The Winter Soldier got up in the meanwhile and walked across the bridge, to where Steve had knocked away his gun, and picked it up.

He stomped back and grabbed Tony by the shoulder and pointed the gun to his heart.

The Soldier’s steely eyes stared into his and he pulled the trigger once. Tony jerked as the bullet pierced through his armor. His arc reactor shattered, sputtered, and then he everything grow cold as it went out.

Tony swayed and fell forward onto Steve. Steve weakily grasped at him but his touches grew weaker with every passing second until they stopped altogether.

Tony could feel the metallic shards in his chest move as they closed in on his heart. But he had a sinking feeling that once they reached their destination all they were going to find was an already broken heart.

“St-Steve,” Tony mewled pitifully. Why did Steve stop moving? He-He couldn’t be-.

Tony pathetically grasped at Steve’s chest. He couldn't be gone. He couldn't have killed him. He was Captain America, a super soldier, it was Steve! He was indestructible!

The Soldier kicked Tony off Steve and Tony fell back with a choked gasp. The Soldier spared him a glance before holding his gun to Steve’s forehead.

For a long time, the Soldier stood there with his gun pressed to Steve’s temple. Tony did not move, fearing such a movement would provoke him into shooting.

“Bu-Buc-,” Steve whispered, his voice barely discernable.

The edges of his vision was darkening and, when the Soldier eventually lowered his gun, Tony couldn't tell if what he was seeing was real or not.

The Soldier huffed Steve over his shoulder and then walked away.

The helicarrier shuddered with explosions and Tony was left alone with the image of Steve’s wretched eyes as he fell and the smell of his burnt flesh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3
> 
> Next Time, Ch. 13: Sticks and Stones may Break my Bones but the Look in Your Eyes will Forever Haunt me


	13. Sticks and Stones may Break my Bones but the Look in Your Eyes will Forever Haunt me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I was able to post this by Friday! The same day I posted the teaser for this chapter on my tumblr, my computer broke and I lost all the work I had done for this chapter and then some! I got a new computer and started working again and everything was working fine until I finished writing this chapter and Word randomly decided to not save the last three pages! GAH D:  
> Anyways, thanks for reading my rant!  
> tl:dr - I had to rewrite this dang chapter a lot!

Jarvis was not allowed to operate the suit if Tony was in it. The only cases in which Tony allowed him to do so was if Tony was unconscious or if he commanded Jarvis to take control. It was something he implemented early on into his life as Iron Man when Jarvis kept overriding control to get Tony out of danger.

“Sir, tap your finger and I will take it as acceptance to override the Iron Man suit,” Jarvis stated.

The AI had originally asked Tony to verbally give approval but all he was able to do was grunt. It was a struggle to breathe nonetheless talk. The moving shrapnel in his chest were making his muscles twitch and contract wildly so he was only able to make the shallowest of gasps as he tried to breathe.

It also didn’t help that he was freaking out over the fact that he just shot his boyfriend through the chest at a close range and that a maniac had kidnapped him to do who knows what with him. So, yes, Tony was a little frantic and it may have picked up is blood pressure and made him hyperventilate a little.

Tony twitched his finger and it was good enough tap for Jarvis.

The suit moved without any warning and Jarvis flew him out of the crumbling helicarrier and away from the area.

“I have contacted Ms. Potts and am flying you to her. She has your backup arc reactor,” Jarvis informed him. After the incident with Obadiah, Tony had made spare arc reactors in case something similar had ever happened again. He kept one at his house in Malibu and the other in his lab at the Tower. He, Jarvis, and Pepper were the only ones who knew the location to them.

Tony grunted in acknowledgement but most of his concentration was in breathing…well, breathing and contemplating Steve’s fate that is…

Was the Soldier going to finish him off? Or was he going to seek retribution for their defeating Hydra? Would he hurt Steve more?

Was Steve even alive when the Soldier carried him off?

Tony immediately felt sick at the thought.

Had Tony murdered the man he loved?

“The mission was successful,” Jarvis continued. “And Ms. Potts had no trouble in retrieving the arc reactor from the Tower. The Hydra agents who had it locked down are gone. They left as soon as they received word of your attack on the Triskelion. Everyone, with the exception of Captain Rogers, has regrouped at the ‘meet-up’ coordinates. They all report that they are fine and I have relayed the events that occurred to them.” Jarvis paused and then said, “The Winter Soldier left with the Captain and went outside of my sensors with him. The Captain does not have his shield and I will be unable to track him…”

The acid curdled in Tony’s stomach. What was that assassin going to do with Steve?

\---

The Soldier sat on the side of a knocked over trashcan and stared at the unconscious man across from him. The Captain sat upright against the wall with his head lolled to the side, resting on his shoulder. His mouth was slightly agape and his eyes were closed. The Captain’s eyes had been closed since that moment in the helicarrier when the Soldier was about to shoot him in the head and the Captain tried to say that name again. The man had fallen unconscious at that point and hadn’t woken since.

It was as he fell unconscious, the Soldier realized something.

“I know you,” he whispered to the Captain.

Memories, vivid in color and coldness, flickered in his mind. He saw a train on the edge of a snowy mountain side. He saw the Captain calling out to him.

He remembered reaching out to “Steve” and praying to God that he’d catch his hand. He remembered praying to that same God as he fell to his “death.” He remembered blood trailing from a sump of flesh that was once his left arm. He remembered a lab. And he remembered pain.

Yet, out of all these confusing memories, he remembered the Captain most clearly.

Was the Captain an old master? Or something else?

An unspeakable rage had burned through him when Iron Man burned a hole into the Captain’s chest. He retaliated by destroying the component in his chest that kept him alive and left him for dead in the helicarrier. He then saved the Captain from the dying helicarrier and spirited him away but…he didn’t even know why he did it. He was acting on pure instinct and felt like he _needed_ to protect him. But everything he did was probably for not…

The Captain hadn’t woken once since he received the mortal injury. The Soldier thought he’d survive with his advanced healing yet…now he wondered if he merely saved a dying man. The burns on his chest were grisly and had a noxious odor.

Again, he repeated to the unconscious man, “I know you.”

He was saying it more to himself than the Captain. He was affirming the fact in his mind, making it real…He was telling himself that there was more to himself than what he had been programed. He once had a will of his own and if he reached out enough he might be able to grab it.

It was terrifying.

It all would be so much easier to understand if the Captain could explain it but the man was barely breathing. He wouldn’t be able to help the Soldier.

So, what should the Soldier do with him?

\---

“Oh my God!” Pepper gasped as the armor opened up.

Tony tiredly nodded to her and shivered as he was hit by a light breeze. He was laying down on his back to give Pepper better access to his chest and Pepper put the spare arc reactor down beside him as she knelt beside him. She hissed, “Wh-Where do I start??”

“Sir’s arc reactor has been damaged beyond repair and needs to be replaced immediately,” Jarvis stated from Iron Man’s speakers. “Do you remember how to remove it?”

“Ew, yes,” Pepper replied with a grimace. She lightly touched Tony’s chest and murmured, “I’ve got this, Tony. You’re going to be alright.”

Tony rolled his eyes and Pepper smiled sadly at him before jumping into action.

She twisted the broken arc reactor from his chest and pulled out the internal wiring with a quick jerk. Tony hissed from the sharp burst of pain and Pepper whispered, “Sorry, sorry. Okay, ew, here I go.” With the new unit in hand, Pepper used her tiny hands to reach into his chest cavity and plugged in the new reactor. The instant it was connected, Tony’s chest pain lessened by half and he felt renewed. He inhaled sharply and felt like he was getting sufficient oxygen for the first in years. His chest ached reminding him that he shouldn’t abuse his lungs too much.

Pepper twisted in the arc reactor and grasped his shoulder, asking, “Are you alright? What more can I do?”

Tony sat up and said, “N-Nothing. I-I’ve got to find Steve.”

The armor closed around him and he stood. Pepper scrambled to her feet and hissed, “Tony, you are in no condition to be doing anything but going to the hospital!”

“Can’t,” he gasped, despite his body throbbing with pain that did not want to be ignored. Three shots and shrapnel moving around in one’s chest can really fuck with a person. He explained, “I’m a fugitive and I won’t be detained. Not while Steve is still out there.”

Pepper stepped in front of him and said, “You are going to kill yourself! For once in your life, stop thinking of others and think of yourself!”

Tony looked down at her and gasped, “ _It’s Steve_ , Pep.”

“I know, Tony. But you will be no use to him if you _die_! Jarvis, what will happen if Tony’s wounds go untreated?”

“He will perish from either the blood loss or the collapsed lung,” Jarvis stated.

Pepper grasped his forearms and begged, “See a doctor. I’ll pay off the entire hospital to keep quiet if I have to! Just, please, don’t do this. Steve would never forgive you or me.”

Tony dropped his head and garbled, “It-It was me –Pep – I was the one who-who hurt him. I shot him. I-I didn’t mean to but—! He can’t die. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing…”

Pepper’s face broke with sorrow but she implored, “You can’t help him like this.”

Tony wanted to launch himself into the air and actively deny Pepper’s words but, merely standing upright made him dizzy and he doubted he could operate the suit much longer.

He slowly nodded and whispered, “Alright…”

\---

Tony needed surgery to remove the two bullets in his torso. The one that hit his thigh was a through and through and, thankfully, did not create much damage and needed to only be patched. But he had to be anesthetized for his other injuries and the doctors promised he’d be out for only a couple of hours.

As he was under, he and the others were exonerated of all crimes Hydra had accused them of. Pepper disclosed their location to the rest of the team but did not notify anyone else of Tony’s location just yet. They may not have been wanted fugitives anymore but they were still wanted for questioning and Pep knew Tony wouldn’t want to do anything until Steve was found.

When he woke out of his stupor, Pep and Sam were the only other ones in the room. Pepper grabbed his hand as soon as he was awake and whispered, “Hey, how are you feeling?”

“Steve?” Tony countered, looking to Sam.  

“Nothing yet,” Sam replied. “Natasha, Clint, and Coulson are doing a sweep. If anyone can find him, it’s them.”

“I should help,” Tony said and tried to sit up with a grunt.

Pepper put her hands on his shoulder and hissed, “Woah! Wait! You just had major surgery! You can’t move just yet!”

“I need to help!” Tony hissed and weakly batted at her hold.

“Work from here, Tony,” Pepper whispered. “You are too weak to operate the suit right now but you are fine to use a laptop.”

Tony slumped back into the bed and asked, “Do you have one on you?”

Pepper placed his personal laptop on his lap and he almost cried. He inhaled deeply through his nose and whispered, “Thank you…I…I will work on this…I can do this.” He pressed the button to have the bed push him up into a sitting position and opened the laptop. Two holoscreens opened on either side of the main screen. Sam’s old laptop from a prior century was a thing of the past and Tony dove into his work.

Tony sent Jarvis to work searching the city’s cameras for Steve’s uniform or the Winter Soldier’s metal arm. It was reminiscent of the time Tony had fruitlessly searched for the shield.

It was before he knew Steve or the fact that he was alive…it was when Tony was when alone and was trying to fill the empty space in his heart with distractions. It was before how happy he knew he could be…before he shot Steve in the chest.

Tony his sadness overwhelmed him and he had to stop typing in order to rub the instant moisture from his eyes. It only made it worse, however, and his tears came out in hot globs of water that burned his eyes. Tony covered his eyes and tried to even out his breathing to suppress his sobs.

Sam was still there. He had a feeling the team were going to work in shifts to keep an eye on him. Tony did not think too deeply on their motives and, at that moment, he pretended the man wasn’t there so he wouldn’t feel too embarrassed about giving in to his grief. Sam was silent and pretended to be to engrossed in his newspaper to notice the few shuddering breaths Tony couldn’t suppress.

Tony shot Steve. He felt the pressure change in his blasters as they cut through his body. Everything that was under the heart of the blasters must have been destroyed: flesh, bone, organs…How much could Steve heal? How much could he survive before it was too much?

He let himself consider the possibility that Steve was dead and, for the first time in his life, he was able to feel that essence that most must have equated to a soul because he felt like it was being torn to shreds at the thought of losing Steve in such a way.

He sat in his bed, with his face hidden in his hands, what felt like ages. He grieved, he hated himself, and he worried for Steve.

When he was finally able to rein in his tears, he rubbed furiously at his face to wipe off the excess evidence but he could do nothing about his red eyes or the misery that threatened to overcome him again. He could not wipe away his despair as easily as he wiped away his tears. He cleared his nose with several loud sniffles and finally got back to work with a heavy heart.

Tony dug up everything about the Winter Soldier and tried to understand him or where he might take Steve. Any possible leads he sent to the others to follow up on and he continued to work as he waited on the results of their search. Everything was turning up futile.

Night turned into a new day. Every time he closed his eyes, Tony saw Steve’s blue eyes staring back at him. Just like when he had last seen him, the super solder’s gaze was an icy blue, stark with surprise but the inner depths were a black abyss that contained a dark knowledge that Tony was not ready to face. As a result, Tony couldn’t sleep a wink and Sam spirited him coffee to help keep him awake despite the unhappy tittering of his doctors.

He was trying to ignore the amount of time that was passing them by and the fact that Steve had suffered a debilitating injury and was in the hands of a known killer. He kept telling himself that his super soldier would survive because any other outcome was just unacceptable.

\---

Around noon, there was a call over the police scanner about a deceased male with egregious injury found in Brooklyn.

Natasha and Coulson grimly listened to the operator relay the information over the police scanner. Natasha turned to Coulson and whispered, “Can you keep it from Tony until we confirm?”

Coulson’s mouth thinned and he replied, “I’ll try but I can’t stop Jarvis from telling him.”

Natasha nodded and whispered, “I’ll go there right now.”

“I’ll call Clint, he’ll join you. And once you know…Please, let me know,” Coulson said and his voice grew lighter from sorrow.

Natasha nodded and ran out of the makeshift HQ to her motorcycle outside. She made the trip to Brooklyn in half the time by splitting lanes, using the sidewalk at times, and running red lights. She kept her expression passive as she raced to the scene but internally, her usually calm self was giving into grief.

Steve was one of the few people she could actually call a good person and one out of a handful whom she could call friend. She didn’t want to shoulder another death that shouldn’t have happened but she already felt herself preparing for it.

The area was tapped off and there were two police cruisers there already.

Natasha drove through the tape and went straight to where the mass of bodies hovered. The people scattered and Natasha leapt from the bike.

The body was covered with a yellow tarp and she ripped it off.

She staggered back from the remains and stumbled back until she caught herself on a lamppost. For a moment, she struggled to breathe but it all finally came out in a great relieving rush.

It wasn’t Steve. She had been positive that it’d be him but she was wrong. She was blessedly wrong.

“Do you know this man?” A police officer demanded.

She stood up and gained her composure as she glanced back to the corpse. The man had been shot multiple times in the chest and his throat had been crushed by an inhumanly strong grip. The Winter Soldier’s metal arm came to mind and she turned to the officer.

“Were there any witnesses?” She demanded.

“M-Ma’am?” The officer sputtered, taken aback by the fact a civilian was questioning him.

“Was a man with a silver arm seen attacking him?” She pushed.

The police officer’s eyes widened and he gasped, “Do you know him or where he is?”

That confirmed it for Natasha. She turned on her communicator and stated, “The body isn’t the Captain’s but the kill was done by the Winter Soldier.”

“The Winter Soldier-?” The police officer repeated with pinched brows.

“Do we have any intel on the Soldier’s last location?” Coulson asked.

“Hold,” Natasha replied and turned back to the officer. “I need to know everything about this incident and the perpetrator’s last known location.”

“Miss, I don’t know if you’re a reporter or a wannabe detective but you are not the one barking out the orders,” the officer retorted.

“This is an Avengers priority,” she replied with narrowed eyes.

“That may have worked before your top dogs were on the FBI’s most wanted list yesterday -,” was all the man was able to get out before Natasha dropped kicked him. She struck him in the head and he was out before he hit the ground.

She turned to the remaining officers, who had drawn their guns on her, and informed them, “Let me try asking this nicely one more time…”

By the time Clint reached the scene, Natasha was sitting on a pile of police officers and any bystanders had fled the area. She stated, “The Winter Soldier was seen exiting this alley holding this guy by the neck and shooting him in the chest. He ran back down the alley and disappeared less than an hour ago.”

Clint glanced at the body and said, “That guy’s Hydra.”

Natasha nodded and said, “There’s blood down there but I don’t know whose it is. It could be this guy’s, the Winter Soldier’s, or Steve’s.”

“If it’s Steve’s then he’s still alive. The Soldier wouldn’t drag around a dead man,” Clint reasoned.

Natasha nodded curtly and then stood up. She stated, “Grid pattern?”

Clint nodded and replied, “Meet up two blocks north of here in thirty?”

Natasha nodded and she ran down the alley and Clint went down the block.

The Winter Soldier did not leave a trail but, if he was carrying Steve, that meant he was weighed down and was going to be moving slower.

She expected to come across a clue, maybe a witness, or even a trail.

She didn't expect the Winter Soldier to be waiting for her.

She was just about to propel herself over the top edge of a brownstone when the Winter Soldier suddenly loomed over her and his shadow cast darkness over her. Her only options were to jump or climb into the Soldier’s range of attack.

Natasha rolled the inside of her cheek between her teeth and regarded the Soldier. His stance and expression told her nothing. He probably could kill her in an instant and wouldn't even bat an eye.

She slowly inhaled and then stated in an even voice, “Are you going to just stare at me or are you going to help me up?”

A muscle ticked in his jaw and he glared at her. She raised her eyebrows and held out her hand. Her other hand tightened on the edge of the roof as she prepared herself for the moment she would need to push herself away. She hoped her outlandish theory was right and that the Soldier had been waiting for her because, if she was wrong, then she was dead.

The Soldier’s eyes narrowed on her outstretched hand and then he looked to her again.

Natasha was just about to make her escape when the Soldier did the impossible: he knelt down to one knee, a vulnerable position, and grasped her hand. With one powerful tug, he pulled her over the edge and she scrambled to her feet. The Soldier remained kneeling where he was but watched her with a critical eye over his shoulder.

“Where is Steve?” Natasha asked.

The Soldier twitched upon Steve’s name and Natasha latched onto the facial tick like a fly on honey. Could the information Jarvis relayed be true? Could this really be Steve's long dead friend?

“The Captain is in a secure location,” he grunted.

“And his condition?” She pressed.

The Soldier broke his eyes from her and clenched his right fist tightly. When his gaze returned to her, it was cold and his expression was hard. He stated, “I will tell you the Captain’s location if you can do two things for me.”

“Name it.”

“I am my own master now and I want my freedom,” the Soldier stated, getting to his feet. His height forced her to look up but she kept her strong stance.

“I can't promise that. You killed a lot of people,” she whispered.

“By Hydra’s orders,” the Soldier growled.

“But, it was by your hand,” she retorted. The Soldier’s hand shot to his sidearm and Natasha immediately reached behind her where her gun was hidden. They both froze and stared tensely at each other.

“Maybe…” Natasha murmured quietly. “Maybe we can broker a truce for a period.”

The Soldier glared at her as he considered her words and then slowly slipped his hand off his weapon. Natasha followed suit and brought her hands to her sides.

“Two weeks,” he muttered.

“Deal,” Natasha stated immediately.

The Winter Soldier stared at her, sizing her up, and nodded to himself. He turned around and walked to the other side of the roof. He pointed down and said, “He’s here.”

Natasha sprinted across the flat roof and peered over the edge.

Steve lay in the top basket of the iron-wrought, fire escape. He was curled on his side and his limbs had been placed with care into the fetal position. He was unconscious but the Soldier hadn’t just flung him down there and had taken the time to make sure he was comfortable.

Natasha straightened and asked, “What is your second request?”

“Help him,” the Soldier whispered. He was looking down at Steve with eyes glassy with a flurry of emotions.

“I can do that,” Natasha replied.

The Soldier looked back to her and his gaze grew blank again. He nodded to her and turned to leave.

“Barnes!” She called out.

The Soldier violently jerked and turned to her with narrow eyes.

“There’s an exhibit on Steve at the Smithsonian. You’re in it. Maybe you should check it out in your two weeks of freedom?” She suggested.

The Soldier clenched his fists but nodded all the same. He turned and leapt over the edge of the brownstone, disappearing from view. As soon as he was gone, Natasha leapt over the other side to where Steve was. She cursed lightly under her breath when she saw the crater in his chest and checked his pulse.

His heartbeat was slow but it was there. He was alive but barely. She sighed in relief and stated into her communicator, “I have him.”

\---

“Captain Rogers has been found,” Jarvis announced from his laptop. Tony’s fingers froze on the keyboard and he exchanged looks with Bruce. Sam was gone and he was his new companion. He’d come straight from the safe house and relieved Sam of Tony watching duty around sunrise.

“How is he??” Tony gasped, not getting the words out fast enough.

“Stable but unconscious,” Jarvis replied.

“Is he going to live??” Tony demanded, grabbing the laptop violently.

Bruce shot out of his seat and hissed, “Tony, don’t! You can open your stitches!”

“He’s stable, Sir,” Jarvis stated. “As of right now, yes, he's going to live.”

Tony slumped back into his bed and gasped, “Thank you.”

“Are they bringing him here?” Bruce asked.

“Yes,” Jarvis replied.

“Alright, get me a wheelchair, Bruce!” Tony stated. He tossed his laptop on Bruce’s empty chair and threw back his sheets.

“You are supposed to stay in bed!” Bruce hissed and tossed the sheets back over him as his doctoring notions kicked in. He was worse than Pepper. 

“I am going to see him! No – _I need to see him_!” He grasped Bruce’s arm and hissed, “I…I need to tell him how sorry I am. Hurting him nearly killed me.”

Bruce’s expression wavered and he grasped his arm tightly. He whispered, “I’ll ask your doctors if we could move you to a wheelchair…but please…until I get back, just wait here. I will be right back!”

Tony nodded and Bruce quickly ran from the room.

It took Bruce only a few minutes to find one of his doctors. Being faced with a man who could hulk out at the slightest provocation usually got people moving to do Bruce’s bidding even when he was asking them nicely in a quiet whisper.

Ten minutes later, Bruce returned with a group of hospital employees and a wheelchair.

With his arms crossed over his chest, Bruce stated, “You are going to be monitored the entire time you are out of bed and as soon as your nurse says you have to go back, then you are going back, no exceptions.”

“No prob, doc!” Tony laughed, throwing the blankets off him.

Maneuvering Tony into a wheelchair involved a lot of frustration and questioning everyone’s intelligence, especially when Jarvis informed him Steve arrived at the hospital, but they eventually got him settled.

He had two nurses: one pushed him and the other pushed the pole with the IV bags on it. Bruce followed close behind and watched Tony with a critical eye, looking for any sigh that he needed to be returned to bed.

Coulson met them part of the way and Tony demanded, “How is he?! Did you see him!?”

Coulson stopped in front of Tony and stated to his nurses, “May we speak in private? This is sensitive information.”

Tony’s stomach dropped. Sensitive information? What was wrong with Steve? He was going to die, wasn’t he? Tony killed him. He killed Steve. He was going to be sick.

His nurses left without a fuss and Tony clutched his wheelchair arms tightly, preparing himself for the worst. Bruce came up behind him and grasped his shoulder. Tony leaned into his touch, thankful for his friend’s support.

“He’s not good,” Coulson stated to both of them. “When the paramedics arrived, they were going to announce him dead on scene until Natasha made them check for a pulse. If he didn’t have the serum, he’d be dead. As it is, we had to fly in specialists to work on him, even in this condition, his skin is tougher than what usual doctors are used to.”

He was going to have nightmares about a non-serum Steve dying but – “But he’s going to live??”

“We think so,” Coulson replied with a nod. “But we don’t want the public to know his condition or…how it occurred.”

Tony winced but not because of the public reaction. He could handle the public’s outrage. He winced because he had no idea how Steve was going to react. Not only had Tony caused him immense physical pain but Tony had shot him when trying to kill the man Steve thought to be his best friend. Speaking of which…

“And the Winter Soldier?”

“Romanoff made a deal with the Winter Soldier. She promised him two weeks of freedom to tell us the location of the Captain. He’ll most likely use the time to disappear,” Coulson replied.

“…Do we know if he was really Barnes?” Tony asked, hoping it wasn’t him.

“When you were unconscious, we unlocked all the SHIELD files on our databases and released them to the public…including the Hydra files. He was in there…He’s really Barnes.”

“Fuck,” Tony hissed. Tony almost killed Steve’s best friend. What did Hydra do to that man?? He didn’t remember Steve and tried to kill him! First thing he’ll do when he gets back to his room is have Jarvis look into the Soldier and how they brainwashed him. Maybe out of all of this horror Tony could scrape out something to help Barnes.

Tony turned his attention back to Coulson and asked, “When can I see him?”

“He should be out in a few hours. The doctors will do what they can to help in the healing process.” Coulson grasped his shoulder and gently whispered, “We’ll keep you updated on his progress. Go back to your room and try to get some sleep. You look exhausted.”

Coulson squeezed his shoulder and silently left his side. He disappeared behind some double doors and Tony somehow inherently knew he was going to watch over Steve as they worked on him.

Tony stared at the doors and was immediately at war with himself. He too wanted to be by Steve’s side but he didn’t think he could bare seeing them cut into him.

He dropped his head and darkly wondered if Steve would even want him at his side at that point. Tony did put him there.

“He’s going to live,” Bruce stated, asserting the fact. And, yes, knowing Steve was going to live was immensely relieving but now couldn’t help but worry over the state of their relationship. Would Steve even want to speak to him after all of this?

 “Mr. Stark?” One of his nurses questioned.

Tony looked up at the two nurses and then back to the double doors. He dropped his head and murmured, “Take me back to my room.”

Bruce stepped back as Tony leaned back into his wheelchair and closed his eyes. Instantly, he saw Steve’s eyes staring back at him: ice blue as if the darker blue of its coloring had the tint leeched out of it and his stare bored into Tony’s very soul asking him, “Why? Why did you do this?”

Tony’s eyes snapped back open and his guilt redoubled. He wasn’t going to get any rest until he could finally meet Steve’s gaze and he could finally answer Steve wordless plea.

\---

Coulson ticked an eyebrow and gave the doctor a level stare as he growled, “What did you say?”

“He should be dead,” the doctor reasoned with a shrug. “Any normal human would have died from such injuries.”

“Yet,” Coulson stated coldly. “He is alive.”

Coulson had seen him, himself. Captain Rogers may have been a little pale but he was breathing on his own and his mortal injuries were no longer life-threatening. Yet…

“The Captain is in a coma,” the doctor stated, saying the very words echoing ominously in Coulson’s mind. It had been a week since Rogers was brought into the hospital, a week since he was operated on, and a week since he’d been conscious. Captain Rogers was healed and should no longer be unconscious at this point. Yet, the Captain wasn’t stirring. The doctor continued, “I have never seen a coma like it before. It is like he is in a medically induced coma but, we are not the cause of it. For some reason, the Captain will not wake, his heart is beating slower than it should be, and he is showing signs of only minimal brain activity…It is a miracle he survived but, maybe, only his body survived and Steve Rogers gave up.”

“ _Captain_ Steve Rogers would never give up!” Coulson snapped. “Keep working on a solution and stop making excuses!”

The doctor mumbled something a scurried away. Coulson rubbed the back of neck to relieve some of the tension that had gathered there but it was to no avail. He sighed heavily and walked out of the empty room the doctor had pulled him into.

He walked a few rooms down to where Captain Rogers was sleeping. Like all the other rooms in the ICU, the Captain’s had a large window for one to easily look into.

Coulson paused when he looked inside.

Stark was in there again. He was hunched over in the chair by the hospital bed. Grief weighed heavily upon his shoulders and he looked like he wanted to touch Rogers but was unable to. He'd been in there every day, waiting, grieving, and dying a little inside with every passing moment. Stark blamed himself for what happened to Rogers and not matter what anyone said, he would continue to do so until the Captain woke up _...if_ he woke up. 

Coulson couldn’t go in there during such a personal moment. Nor could he tell Stark of the doctor’s reasoning for the unexplainable coma…nor could he reveal the other notion starting to form in Coulson’s mind.

Rogers had been in a similar situation over 70 years ago. He had received injuries no normal human should have survived just as he did a week ago. And he had also been unconscious as he healed and remained unconscious like he was now. 

Captain Rogers wouldn’t give up but he may be unconscious because of the super soldier serum. Rogers was able to heal himself, but what was the price? Did the serum require payment for working a miracle? Was that payment time?

Was the past going to repeat itself?

Was Rogers going to be in a coma for another 70 years?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will not be posting a chapter title this time because I don't know if I will be able to get it all into one chapter! XD  
> Until I know if I will be writing one or two chapters, I cannot give you guys a proper chapter title!  
> So, with the next posting, may be the last with a really long chapter or it might be extend it to 15 chapters! 
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3


	14. Heimdall, Heimdall, what do you see?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for the delay but as soon as I wrote this chapter out I decided I wanted to change the ending and had to rewrite it! Plus, I am in the process of moving so I have been busy with that process! BUT here it is! The final chapter! Yay! 
> 
> Thanks to all who have been reading, subscribed, bookmarked, commented, and left kudos! Your support is dearly appreciated! :)

Steve had never before been so scared in his life.

He was fighting a battle he saw no way of winning and it was against his best friend, a man he thought dead and what made it worse was the fact that Bucky had shot Tony.

Tony was bleeding badly and struggling to breathe. Steve wanted to be by his side and help him with his wounds but, as soon as he stopped fighting Bucky, he knew the Winter Soldier would attack.

He didn’t want to hurt Bucky but his old friend was trying his hardest to kill them. Additionally, Tony was stubbornly ignoring his wounds and bleeding out.

He was torn between them. To help Tony or to keep fighting Bucky? Steve was stuck in a sort of limbo and a catalyst was needed to escape it.

He couldn’t lose either and the fight seemed to be leading for him to lose both.

Such a factor absolutely petrified him.

In the end, the catalyst was Steve himself.

Iron Man’s faceplate was blank and emotionless but Steve could not look away from it as the repulsor blasts broke through his body. He couldn’t breathe but he also didn’t feel any pain. He couldn’t physically feel anything. Emotionally, he was all over the place, especially for Tony. He reached out to him but fell before he could touch him.

The world twirled around him like the inside of a kaleidoscope and Tony’s voice was fractured and spinning with the images in a grotesque combination of senses.

Until one noise stood out clearly to him: the blast of a single bullet. It was quickly followed by the heavy weight of Iron Man falling on top of him.

The unmoving weight turned his entire body to ice. Did Bucky shoot him? Was Tony-?

Bucky pushed Tony off him and picked Steve up by the scruff of his uniform and pointed a gun at him.

Hot tears blurred his vision further and he gasped, “Bu-Buc-?” _Did you kill him? Did you kill him just when we were openly beginning to love each other? Was Tony gone??_

The kaleidoscope of colors faded and Steve could feel his conscious leaking from him as quickly as his blood seeped out of his body through the great crater in his upper torso.

The blurry world shifted as he was raised into the air and then it all began to bounce as he was carried away.

The stark fact that Bucky was the only one strong enough to lift him came to him in an instant and it was followed by an even worse revelation: Tony wouldn’t have let Bucky carry him away without trying to stop him.

Steve had been fighting to desperately stop his boyfriend from killing his best friend and, in the end, his best friend managed to kill his boyfriend.

\---

Heimdall was the all-seeing and all-hearing guardian of Asgard. He stood where he had been stationed for hundreds of years, at the end of the Bifrost. The rainbow bridge had been repaired but was fragile. His duty to protect it and his home weighed heavily on his shoulders.

Since the Bifrost’s repair, his prince was busily helping bring order to the nine realms.  Many worlds were in peril after being cut off from Asgard for so long. Heimdall always kept an eye on Thor but his gaze was all-seeing and he could see the events on Midgard. He’d always watched Midgard, even before Thor had been banished to its lands.

He watched the recent events as they unfolded like an epic of old. He saw the rise and fall of Hydra. He saw the fall of the Man of Iron and he saw the fall of the Avenger’s Captain. And with his all-hearing ears, he had heard the Son of Coul murmur his suspicions with Bruce Banner.

“Heimdall!” Thor called out to him from Alfheim, “Drop the bridge!”

Heimdall focused his gaze to the origin of the call. Thor, the Lady Sif, and the Warriors Three stood weary but victorious in an open field, realms away from Asgard. Thor was grinning up at the sky and such an expression told Heimdall his prince was exuberant about their latest victory. Heimdall lifted his sword and dropped it into the key slot, opening the bridge for his prince.

Everything around him shook as the new, fragile structure coursed with the unimaginable amounts of energy used to extend the bridge. Heimdall did not flinch in fear like a lesser mortal may have in such a structure but stood strong as he waited for his prince to cross worlds and return to Asgard.

Thor was laughing as he stepped back into their realm. As soon as his eyes fell on Heimdall, he boasted, “Another great battle and worthy victory!”

Heimdall nodded to his prince and said, “You fought well, sire.”

“And now we shall feast!” Volstagg stated merrily. He clapped Thor’s shoulder and their prince nodded heartily.

“Start without me,” Thor called. “I need to have a word with the gatekeeper.”

Thor’s friends readily agreed and made their way down the rainbow bridge, talking loudly and laughing even louder. Thor watched them go with a found eye before turning back to Heimdall.

Heimdall did not move from his post, but, he did point his golden gaze to his prince and question, “A word, my Lord?”

“Aye, I want to know what troubles you, old friend,” Thor said, sitting at Heimdall’s feet on the bottom stair to his pedestal.

Heimdall’s gaze returned to the eons and he commented, “You have gained sight as well as wisdom since your trials on Midgard.”

Thor grinned and asked, “What vexes you?”

“Your allies on Midgard have gone through some troubling trials since you were last there,” Heimdall stated.

Thor was on his feet instantly and gasped, “How fairs Jane?”

“She is well,” Heimdall replied. “She was not a part of the foremost incident and the mighty warriors of the Avengers brought down the peril before her life was threatened.”

“ _Peril_?? Why wasn’t I informed??” Thor gasped, gripping his hammer tightly. “I told you to keep an eye on Midgard and summon me if they ever needed me!”

“The Midgardians were able to defeat the threat without your assistance. If they ever truly needed your support I would have summoned you. At the time, your strength was needed in Alfheim.”

“So is it the past peril that bothers you or something else?” Thor questioned with slight grit from his earlier upset.

“Your allies did not escape from the battle unscathed,” Heimdall replied and turned his golden gaze to Midgard. As he watched the Midgardians, Heimdall relayed, “The Man of Iron is sick with an internal darkness that can only be healed by the Captain of the Avengers, yet, he sleeps like your father in a type of Odinsleep that they believe is healing and recharging his body.”

Thor stepped away from his side and looked out of the Bifrost to the expanse of the universe. His gaze was pointed in Midgard’s direction though there was no way he could see it from such a distance. Without looking away, his prince asked, “Is there nothing I can do to help?”

Heimdall tightened his hold on his sword as he considered his prince’s words. He reflected on the moment Thor was thrown to Midgard and the moment the Captain awoke from his decades sleep. He also recalled his duty to Asgard and what it may mean for Asgard if Thor was sidetracked by the affairs of Midgard.

Thor turned back to him. His blue eyes clouded with worry and his brows pinched with concern. Asking, no louder than a whisper, Thor said, “Heimdall?”

Heimdall sighed and loosened his grip on his sword. He stated, “The mortals think it is possible for you to awaken the Captain. You and Mjölnir have done so before.”

\---

This time, Tony felt the jolt created by Thor’s arrival as it shook the entire room. He sat up sharply in his chair and looked wildly around him. It had felt like a small earthquake, and had rumbled the entire room like one would _but_ they were on the east coast and nowhere near any fault lines. Earthquakes were extremely rare on this side of the country and he quickly ruled it out. There was one very likely possibility and Tony’s uneasily clenched his fists, wishing one of his suits was nearby.

Tony looked down at Steve as the man remained unmoved by the commotion and took his phone out of his pocket as he asked, “J, what was that?”

He was expecting something Hydra related but instead Jarvis relayed, “It appears Thor just arrived on the planet through the Asgardians’ method of interstellar travel.”

Tony relaxed. No Hydra. With that thought, he rolled his eyes as he sarcastically murmured, “ _Now_ he comes to help.”

He touched the railing to Steve’s bed and peered down at him a moment longer. Steve continued to slumber and Tony’s heart squeezed painfully. He whispered to him, “I will be right back.”

He fled the room but he felt like his body was anchored to Steve and there was a pull on his heart, trying to bring him back to Steve’s side. He hadn’t gone so far from Steve’s side since he came out of surgery but Thor was there and he clearly came there to speak to one of them.

The hospital was a bustle of worried patients and pale personal. Most did not know the cause of the shake just yet and all were speculating its cause, nearly all of which sounded Hydra related. Tony ignored them in favor of getting to Thor. Jarvis kept him updated on the Norse God’s status. Coulson and Bruce met him out in the fields and were walking back to the hospital when Tony finally reached them.

“Tony!” Bruce gasped, “Is there any change in Steve??”

That pull in his chest tugged a little and Tony replied, “No, why?”

“Are you sure?” Thor stepped forward and murmured, “According to Heimdall, and the Son of Coul,” he nodded his head to Coulson and continued, “I was instrumental in waking our Captain during his last healing sleep. Will I need to do more?”

From the not so distant past, Steve’s voice whispered in his ear, _“It was Thor. When I was in the ice, he’s the one who woke me…Or it was the hammer, at least, he’s the reason I’m here. I don’t know if I should thank him or…”_

It was all Steve had been able to tell him on the subject as Tony had cut him off because they were in the middle of their fight. But it was enough and Tony couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of it earlier. He’d been researching so many ways of helping Steve and Steve may have already told him of the very thing that could help him. A tentative hope began to grow within Tony and he separated the distance between him and the blond.

Tony grabbed the circular clasp attaching Thor’s cap to his armor and pulled the God forward, excitedly gasping, “Come on!”

“Tony!?” Bruce called after them and he and Coulson followed.

Tony’s heart began to pound wildly in his chest. What if the jolt from Thor’s landing was enough and Steve was already awake?? What if Tony had left the room just as he was waking?? He imagined Steve groggily waking and his stomach twisted with anticipation and uneasy nervousness.

He sprinted to Steve’s room as fast as his stiches would allow and Thor followed, his expression made serious with Tony’s haste.

Tony ran into Steve’s room gasping, “Steve?!”

His eyes instantly fell on the bed but Steve was right where he left him with his hands curled at his sides and still _very_ _much_ unconscious.

“Okay,” Tony murmured, taking it all in stride. His heart was pounding furiously and a slight sliver of fear was stabbing into it but Tony was easily able to ignore it because Thor and his hammer were there.

Tony grasped Thor’s forearm which held the hammer and stated, “Steve said he woke because of you and this thing. It’s not just you! It’s something about your hammer that woke him last time!”

“Mjölnir?” Thor peered thoughtfully at his hammer and then his eyes flicked to Tony and he asked, “When did the Captain say this?”

“After the three of us fought over Loki,” Tony supplied, almost bouncing on his feet.

“I had struck the Captain’s shield with Mjölnir in the fight,” Thor stated. Tony nodded, remembering the blast of air that had knocked him off his feet. Thor continued, “But I had not struck the Captain’s shield when I first came to Midgard. How had my hammer woken the Captain the first time?”

“Sir?” Jarvis called out from his phone speakers. Tony pulled it out of his pocket and Jarvis stated, “Both instances created shockwaves, invisible to the human eye, and with abnormal power signatures. I noted both occurrences in the logs though, at the time, I thought them no more than the usual seismic events of the planet.”

“Tis Mjölnir’s roar,” Thor stated. “Only a select few can hear it but most can feel it’s effects.”

“Are you telling me the hammer is sentient,” Tony groaned in disbelief.

Thor grinned and, neither confirmed nor denied Tony’s statement, but replied, “Mjölnir will only be wielded those who are worthy. Tis a stubborn weapon that uses its roar as a battle cry to send shivers down the spines of my enemies.”

“Okay, make it ‘roar,’” Tony said. “The sonic vibrations from the ‘roar’ was probably what woke Steve.” Under his breath, Tony mumbled, “ _And is another feature of your weapon: sonic warfare, not more atypical mythology..._ ”

Thor stepped up to the foot of Steve’s bed and held his hammer before him.

“Wait, what will the effect on us be at close range?” Coulson demanded. 

Thor’s grin widened and he replied, “Strengthen your stance and know that fear you will feel is merely an uncontrollable reaction to Mjölnir’s immortal power.”

Coulson and Bruce stepped back into the hallway but Tony remained where he was standing. Thor looked to him and Tony nodded him on and said, “Go for it, big guy.”

Thor nodded and tightened his hold on his hammer. He said and did nothing more. For a moment, Tony wondered how long it would take to work.

He heard the blast of air that resonated from the hammer a millisecond before it knocked him off his feet and threw him into the wall behind him. All the glass in the room shattered. The machines and furniture were all thrown away from the hammer and into the walls like Tony. The only reason Steve’s bed did not move was because Thor had gotten a hold of the railing at the foot of the bed with his free hand and held him there. Alarms went off, the unsuspecting people in the affected area screamed, and the lights in the room flickered before everything went dark.

Tony scrambled to his feet as soon as he was able. His eyes were riveted on the figure on the bed. In the pale light, Steve face was soft with sleep and Tony hunched over him, waiting for those beautiful blue eyes to open.

But they never did.

That hope that had been born so recently shriveled tightly in his chest. But, he held onto it fiercely and he turned to Thor and demanded, “Do it again!”

Thor nodded. His grin was gone and had been replaced by a grim line.

Thor raised his hammer as Coulson struggled to get to his feet just outside the door. The agent managed to gasp, “No! Wait-!” before Mjölnir released another shockwave.

Tony grabbed onto the bedframe and held tight but his feet slid back from the pressure of the shockwave. He managed to mostly keep upright and keep his eyes on Steve.

The room trembled and shocked screams and gasps echoed down the hall. Tony ignored it all and watched his boyfriend.

Through it all, Steve remained and continued to sleep.

Thor lowered his hammer and murmured, “The Captain may not wake because his body still requires rest...”

“No!” Tony gasped, grabbing Thor’s arm as he lowered the hammer. “Steve is completely healed! There is nothing wrong with him other than he won’t wake up!”

“ _Thor_!” Coulson gasped, “Do not use that hammer like that again! _This is a hospital_ and that most likely hurt a lot of people, damaged machines, and destroyed property! If we do this again, it needs to be in a secure area!”

 “I am sorry, Son of Coul,” Thor replied sheepishly as he surveyed the damage done to the room.

Tony leaned heavily on the edge of Steve’s bed during the short exchange and stared at Steve’s unchanging expression. He was waiting for a reaction but nothing was happening…

Bruce lightly touched his shoulder and whispered his name but Tony ignored him. He stared at Steve instead and tried to come up with another way to wake him but was coming up with nothing.

They moved Steve to a new room and Tony went with him. He watched him as his head bobbed lightly as the bed was moved. As soon as they reached the new room, Tony sat down next to him and stubbornly continued his watch.

He went into a sort of desperate trance and hours passed. His muscles ached from staying in the same position for so long but he watched until he was broken from his stupor by a sharp snore.

He turned around to find Bruce sitting in the guest chair behind him. He was sleeping with his head cushioned on his own arm on the arm of the chair.

Tony’s eyes went to the clock on the wall and he felt like someone doused him with a bucket filled with cold water. It’d been too long.

Trembling, Tony slipped from Steve’s side and lightly touched Bruce’s shoulder.

Bruce snorted loudly and sleepily announced, “I’m awake.” He rubbed at his eyes and his glasses bounced onto of his fist until he was done. He yawned and asked, “You alright?”

Tony smiled sadly at him and forewent answering his question by whispering, “You should be sleeping in a bed.”

“I want to be here for you, Tones,” Bruce murmured.

“You are an awesome friend,” Tony whispered. With a voice he fought hard to keep steady but failed miserably at, Tony whispered, “I-I think I need some alone time with him.”

His eyes had trailed back to the clock and he was reminded of how much time had passed. His wait had been fruitless and the notion was beginning to settle in. Tony had been defeated by a force none of them understood and would continue to hold Steve in its thrall.

Bruce’s gaze moved from Tony to Steve sympathetically and he nodded. He pushed himself out of the chair with a groan as a few bones popped. He whispered, “I will be right down the hall.”

Tony nodded and Bruce closed the door behind him. Tony drew the curtains across the window looking in on him and Steve, and then he dimmed the lights.

Tony paused at Steve’s bedside as he considered taking the chair Bruce had just vacated but he forwent it and climbed into the bed beside Steve.

It may very well be the last time he did so…

He pushed Steve over with a grunt so there would be enough room for Tony and then curled into his side. For a moment, Tony closed his eyes and let the heat from Steve’s body soak into his skin and listened to Steve’s easy breathing. He pretended it was like any other night and Steve would wake in the morning.

The comfort of a bed and Steve’s familiar form, made Tony’s body feel sleepy but, on the inside, he was an emotional wreck.

He finally acknowledged what he had been avoiding for days: there was nothing more they could do for Steve.

Tony curled into Steve’s side and wept until he was too exhausted to do anything but sleep.

When Tony woke the next morning, he lay awake for a long time, not wanting to pull away from Steve’s side. Eventually, he pushed himself up on his elbow and shook Steve’s shoulder. He hissed, “Wake up, Steve! Wake up or I’ll drink all the coffee and leave none for you!”

Steve’s head bounced from the shaking but he continued to slumber. Tony dropped his head on Steve’s chest with a groan, “I can’t believe I’m going to do this…” He lifted his head and cupped Steve’s jaw. He stated, “Alright, princess, I’m going to kiss you and, if it wakes you up, I will forever call you Sleeping Beauty.” He paused to see if the threat was enough to stir Steve but the man remained inert so Tony pressed a kiss into his mouth. Steve’s lips were lax but Tony tried several different angles and even licked the bottom of his top lip the way Steve liked. Steve didn’t move and Tony eventually stopped kissing him and pulled back. He hopefully peered at Steve’s face but nothing had changed.

Tony shook his head and felt like he was breaking from the inside all over again. He wetly gasped, “I’m so stupid…”

He lay back down and laid his head on Steve’s chest. He grasped one of Steve’s hands and closed his eyes. It physically felt so nice but it was all wrong. The overwhelming desire to cry and admit defeat was there and was ever present as he held onto his comatose boyfriend.

The last time he had shared a bed with Steve was the night before the helicarriers fell. That night was the only night they had together when they were safe and in love and so happy. And now it was gone.

Steve was not going to wake up.

Tony didn’t know how long he laid there with that thought hanging over his head. The shadows in the room shifted as the sun, hidden behind the blinds, moved. Nurses popped their heads in and openly stared at Tony as he remained cuddled into his side as they checked on Steve. Steve’s breathing was always even and his form was unnaturally still. When they had slept together, Steve always curled around Tony’s form, even when he was sleeping. Eventually, Tony curled Steve’s arm around him just to get a sense of normalcy.

There was a tentative knock at the door and Pepper stuck her head in and whispered, “Tony?”

When he didn’t reply, Pepper stuck her head in and, when she saw he was awake, she slipped in the room.  She whispered, “Hey, Tony, you wanna get some lunch?”

“I’m not hungry,” Tony mumbled into Steve’s chest.

Pepper stepped up to the bed and replied, “I know for a fact that you haven’t eaten since yesterday morning. You need to eat…You’re scaring me, Tony.”

Tony rubbed his face into Steve’s side and then sat up slowly. He kept rubbing at his face and smiled shakily at her, apologizing, “I’m a mess, sorry.”

“Coulson told me about the test with Thor,” Pepper whispered with hushed sympathy.

“I really thought it would work. All the variables fit,” Tony replied in a small voice, smoothing out the sheet over Steve’s chest.

“He’ll wake up eventually,” Pepper reasoned.

“Years…Decades…Probably long after I’m gone,” Tony said. He cupped Steve’s face and stared at it as he whispered, “I’ve been imagining how I would apologize if that was the case…I’d probably make a video. I’d apologize for hurting him and apologize for taking years of his life again…and then…then I’d tell him that I’d always love him.” His eyes started to blur again but he ignored them as he huskily continued, “I’d tell him that I would love him till the day I died. I would probably complain about how I originally did not want to fall in love because I didn’t want him to leave me like everyone else did _and then he went and got into a coma_ …But I’d remind him, it was okay because he’s changed me…I’m better because of him.” Tony looked up at Pepper, her eyes were glistening too, and he asked, “Do you think I can still be better?”

“Yes, Tony,” she whispered tightly.

Tony looked back down at Steve and whispered, “I’m going to miss him so much.”

Pepper stepped over to him and hugged him from behind. She buried her face into his back and gasped, “He loves you, Tony. He would have never left you like this if he had the choice!”

Tony nodded and held Pepper’s arms tightly as he lightly kissed Steve’s forehead. He whispered, “Sleep well, Cap. I’ll love you to the end of time…”

He paused just to memorize Steve’s face and then shakily got out of bed. He couldn’t stay there or he’d start crying again. Steve would have been pissed if he saw what Tony had been doing the last few days and the thought spurned him into action. Pepper helped him out of the bed and he asked her, “Is there coffee where this food is?”

Pepper rubbed at her eyes as she chuckled and replied, “Yes, though you might want to go to the coffee place down the block. Hospital coffee is not much to be desired…”

They stepped out of the room discussing the coffee provided by the hospital and just missed Steve’s hand sinking into the warm spot left by Tony’s body.

\---

Steve knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he was unconscious, but his current existence was so emotionally traumatizing he could put forth very little rational thought.

He was in the helicarrier. Tony lay at his side, dying and not responding to Steve’s touches, and Bucky hovered over him, pointing the gun at his head.

Steve kept begging Bucky to help Tony, to get help for him, or to just check that he was alive but his lost friend merely stared at him with his dead eyes and remained unresponsive. Tony was cold and Steve was screaming at him _to move – to breathe – to do anything_ just so he knew he was still alive! But Tony was just as unresponsive as Bucky.

The world and its people became more undefined as time went by and he could feel sleep wrapping itself around Steve. He fought it valiantly. He held onto Tony and used him as his anchor. Bucky eventually disappeared but Tony remained at his side. Steve whispered to him, begging him to stay with him.

It felt like he held Tony for an eternity until…Tony finally showed signs of life. The body in his arms grew warm and pressed weight into his.

Steve laughed and cried and whispered encouragement to the figure sleeping on his chest.

But then the warmth went away.

“ _No, Tony_ ,” Steve hissed he reached out to him but only felt residual heat. Tony was gone. Steve’s heart began to beat faster and he called out, “ _Tony_?!”

He felt around him but Tony was not anywhere near him. He was alone.

His fear spiked and the loss of Tony sent a jolt of fear through him so powerful Steve’s eyes finally snapped open.

He sat up sharply, gasping for air, and his eyes desperately searching for Tony in the empty room. His memories of the dream world instantly became fuzzy but the actual memories came back to him in a heartbeat and the fear remained.

He was alone in a hospital room. Was Tony at the hospital too? Was he in another room, healing from his injuries, or did he-did he die?

“ _Tony_!” Steve hissed to the despairingly empty room. Where was he??

Steve scrambled out of the bed and ripped off all the things attached to him. The machines in the room all started blaring their alarms shrilly. A nurse ran into the room and paled when she saw he was up.

“ _Captain_ _Rogers_! Sit down! You shouldn’t be standing so soon af-!”

“Where’s Tony?!” Steve demanded.

The young woman squeaked as he loomed over her and she pointed out the door. Steve barreled out as his legs shook unsteadily.

He ran straight into the nurses’ station, a large counter with various implements, and the stone cracked upon his impacting it. He caused several people to jump back or exclaim in fear. He pushed himself up, using the now unsteady counter, and murmured, “Sorry, I-I will fix that. Wh-Where’s Tony-Tony Stark?”

His eyes were spanning the area as he asked and he spotted the familiar red hair of one Pepper Potts. Whatever the bystanders may have said to him went unnoticed as he ran to Pep. She stood at the end of the crowded hallway waiting for the elevator.

The doors opened and Steve was about to call out to her but that was when he saw him.

Tony.

Steve’s throated tightened for a moment as his emotions threatened to overwhelm him. He was alive. Thank God, he had survived.

“ _Tony_!” He exclaimed, running to him.

Tony jerked to a halt midstride and turned to Steve by twisting his entire body in a swift snap toward Steve. But Tony had no time to react to seeing him as Steve had run into him and knocked him over just as he faced him.

He protected Tony from the fall as best as he could by curling around him. Tony lay under him and Steve pushed himself up as he groaned, “Sorry, I’m a little uncoordinated right now…”

“You’re awake,” Tony gasped as he hungrily touched Steve’s face with a bewildered expression.

Steve smiled at him and whispered in a broken voice, “And you’re alive.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, both shocked to see each other. They both moved in to kiss at the same time and pressed their bodies so tightly together it was like they were trying to become one.

This kiss was brief but had filled Steve with yearning. When they broke apart, Tony gasped into his mouth, “Can you ever forgive me?”

“Forgive??” Steve replied with surprise. Tony opened his mouth to reply but Steve silenced him by placing a single finger over his mouth.

Steve knew Tony well enough that his boyfriend had probably come up with over a dozen things to blame himself for, namely the injury Steve received but Steve did not blame him.

Steve slowly moved his hand off Tony’s mouth and cupped his cheek. Tony surprisingly remained silent as he did so but watched him with stormy eyes that were weathered from misery and fear. It hurt Steve to see Tony like this.

Steve whispered, “There is nothing to forgive. The past is in the past and right now I am just so happy you are alive! When Bucky shot you, I thought – I thought…”

He bowed his head and pressed it into Tony’s chest. Just saying the words aloud were too horrible to speak, he couldn’t imagine if he really had to face a world where it was true.

The blue light from the reactor shined through Tony’s shirt and was a familiar security for Steve to take comfort in.

Tony wrapped his arms around the back of Steve’s head and pressed him deeper into his chest. He pressed his face into Steve’s scalp and brokenly whispered into his hair, “I love you.”

Steve angled his head up and kissed the side of Tony’s neck and whispered into his flesh, “I love you too.”

Steve buried his face in the crook of Tony’s neck and just held him. He reveled in the fact that they were both safe, alive, and in love, and wished to extend the moment forever.

There was a light tap on his shoulder and Pepper whispered, “…Guys, we never really discussed coming out but I think you two just did it.”

Steve raised his head. Pepper was kneeling next to them with a large, wobbly but happy smile. Around them, hospital staff and patients were openly staring and several had their phones out pointed at him.

“Whoops,” Tony chuckled beneath him. Steve looked down at Tony in surprise. He was expecting annoyance from people prying into their private lives. Steve himself was a little apprehensive about the reaction from the press.

But as soon as his eyes fell on Tony’s smiling face, all his worries slipped away.

Tony slid his hand behind Steve’s neck and shrugged as he murmured, “We’d have come out eventually. Might as well get an early start on it.” Steve smiled and Tony’s eyes sparkled. Tony asked, “Want to make the front page with me, babe?”

“Yes,” Steve replied breathlessly. Tony pushed himself up and kissed Steve tenderly. Steve closed his eyes and returned the kiss with a happy sigh. He heard some of the phones around them click as they took their picture but Steve didn't care. He didn't even care if he and Tony were the topic of scrutiny for years to come.

Steve had Tony, body and soul, and he couldn't be happier.

\---

Tony eventually forced himself to stop kissing his super soldier before they got too inappropriate. Pepper hustled them out of the hospital and into a waiting car. With Happy at the helm, they were able to get out of there just as the news vans were pulling up.

He and Steve fell into each other as soon as the doors sealed and Happy raised the privacy screen between them.

Tony wanted to get right back to kissing but Steve went into mother hen mode.

“How long was I asleep? How badly were you hurt?” Steve demanded.

“It’s nothing,” Tony murmured and moved in to kiss the side of his jaw. Steve stopped him by lifting Tony’s shirt.

Steve looked at his scars and then lowered his shirt in order to properly scowl at him.

Tony sighed heavily and said, “You were out a little over a week and I was shot three times but got it all fixed.”

“Four,” Steve corrected. “You were shot a fourth time, weren't you?”

Steve was still holding his shirt up partly so Tony was able to touch his arc reactor in wordless explanation. Steve’s eyes followed his hand and widened when he touched the device that kept him alive.

With a quickly paling face, Steve placed his hand over Tony’s and whispered, “He shot you in the reactor?” His eyes got bigger and Steve gasped, “Oh my God, this-this is new! He destroyed the reactor?”

Before Steve became anymore frantic, Tony pacified, “I survived. Past is past, remember?”

“Are there any adverse effects?”

“Just a fashionable new chest piece,” Tony murmured, nuzzling his face into Steve’s neck. Steve released a long sigh and then pulled Tony into his embrace.

“Just a ‘fashionable’ new chest piece and your life is all,” Steve quoted ironically, rolling his eyes. “The next time we fight some dastardly villain, please protect your ‘fashionable’ chest piece.”

Tony grinned, remembering all the fights he and Pepper got in over Iron Man and his reactor. She had wanted him to retire but here was Steve sarcastically telling him to protect himself but not worrying over the fact that he was mortal or that this was dangerous. It hadn’t even occurred to him to ask Tony to stop wat he was doing. Pep was right, Steve did love both Tony and Iron Man.

Tony pressed a hard kiss into Steve's lips and then promised, “Yes, sir!”

Steve smiled happily at him and drew him into another kiss. His hands were much more delicate since he now knew about Tony’s wounds but he pressed his mouth into Tony’s with just as much vigor as before.

They were in D.C. and driving home would take a few hours so Happy took them to a nearby hotel that Pepper must have approved. No reporters were outside but, come morning, Tony knew many would be waiting outside for them, looking for answers about what had occurred between them in the hospital.

Tony was chattering happily as he told Steve about everything he knew to have had happened since he fell asleep. Steve listened quietly and leaned heavily into him as they walked through the hotel. When they entered their hotel room, Steve sat on the bed and Tony went into the kitchen to make coffee for both of them. He continued to tell him about Natasha being a BAMF and how she kicked it to Hydra and SHIELD by uploading SHIELD’s files onto the world wide web.

He turned around, holding their coffee cups, and nearly dropped them when he saw Steve laying on the bed. Tony hurriedly put the mugs on the counter and ran over to Steve, gasping, “ _STEVE_?!”

Steve’s eyes were closed and Tony felt like all the horrors he thought were gone were all jumping out of the shadows all at once. He forced Steve up into a sitting position and Steve hunched over in his hold.

 “Sorry,” he slurred. “I’m tired.”

His eyes drooped and Tony’s heart leapt into his chest. He grasped Steve’s face and hissed, “No! Don’t go to sleep! What if you don’t wake up again!?”

“I won’t let that happen,” Steve yawned and smiled drowsily at Tony. “And if it does, just leave my side again. I think the shock of you leaving me was what woke me up before.”

Tony groaned, “I would have left you the first night had I known that…and we don’t know if that’s the case!”

Steve yawned again and lay his head on Tony’s shoulder. He whispered, “I’ll never leave you like that again.”

Steve’s full weight pushed into Tony as he gave into sleep and Tony hurriedly shook him awake. Steve sat up and sleepily murmured, “Hmm?”

Tony let out a sigh of relief and whispered, “Are you sure this is _just_ sleep?”

Steve nodded and murmured, “The other thing feels different.”

“…Okay, but wait a moment,” Tony said and he slipped from Steve’s side to quickly remove his shoes and pants. Upon Steve’s sleepy scrutiny, Tony explained, “I’m going to lay with you until you wake and if you don’t wake up I’m going to leave your side and you sure as hell better wake or so help me…I – _I will make you regret it_!”

Steve smiled and kicked off his shoes and pants too and they climbed into bed together. Steve was asleep within seconds and Tony knew he wasn’t going to be sleeping a wink.

It was midday and, even though Tony was feeling groggy from watching over Steve, he knew he would not get a moment’s rest until he saw the blue of Steve’s eyes again.

Tony watched him like a hawk. Steve was breathing easily but there was a little smile curling his lips that hadn't been there when he had been in his inert state. He also moved closer to Tony as he slept and move his limbs sluggishly to bring him closer. Tony took this as signs that Steve may not be back in the coma so he wasn’t running for the doctors just yet. His body probably needed more rest after he forcibly woke himself. Or, at least, that was what Tony kept telling himself. he was till a bag of nerves and refused to relax until Steve woke. 

Just when the sun was beginning to set, and their hotel room was illuminated in a golden glow, did Steve begin to stir. Tony watched the transition anxiously. First, Steve’s breathing became uneven and his face twitched at random intervals. Finally, the arms around Tony tightened before those glorious blue eyes lazily blinked open.

Steve stretched and then leaned into Tony as he murmured, “Sorry to have fallen asleep like that…I feel exhausted.”

“You’re awake,” Tony whispered with relief. He held him tightly and gasped, “I don’t think I will ever be able to sleep again!”

Steve returned the embrace and pressed his forehead to Tony’s as he promised, “There’s no need. I told you I wouldn’t leave you like that again. It’s a promise. I’m here for good. As long as you’ll have me that is.”

Tony smirked at his best friend, a man from another century who had healed him in ways he could have never imagined and he could have never envisioned falling in love with. Tony stated, “I think I’ll keep you forever.”

\---

Heimdall watched the scene with a smile and, in the coming days, watched the Captain sleep less and the Man of Iron grow stronger with his every waking minute. The world clamored over their relationship and they took it all in stride. Their union had started off shaky but had grown strong in the trails they had faced together and with the knowledge of what they could have lost.

With every smile they shared, Heimdall knew he was witnessing the rare form of love that was gifted to a few blessed unions every couple of centuries. Unusual circumstances usually brought these couples together and they were no exception.

They may have never fallen in love if it weren’t for that first initial jolt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Bucky comes back and everyone are friends AND CIVIL WAR NEVER HAPPENS! <3
> 
> Haha once again thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed the story! 
> 
> I will be coming out with a Soulmate AU for Steve and Tony next! If you're interested in reading either subscribe to my Ao3 account or follow me on [tumblr](http://il0vsuperman.tumblr.com/) or just pop in any time! 
> 
> :)


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